I co-sleep with DS (2.11)

[Bitchqueen90]

Ds is three next month. I still co sleep with him. I'm a lone parent, he was only breastfed until 6 months old. He slept in his own bed for a while when he was younger but when exH and I split he started coming back in with me (just for a bit of company/comfort and it just carried on).

He sleeps in his own bed at exH's, my parents etc. Is it really bad that I co sleep, should I be putting him in his own bed?

DD at 4 still sleeps with me. DH is jealous that I get to co-sleep with her, but he gets a rubbish night's sleep with her kicking, so I get the midnight cuddles!

My aunt told me that her DD (my cousin) still sometimes sleeps with her in the bed when she stays over at the age of 41 (cousin's age). And that is out of choice as there is a perfectly good bed for her to sleep in by herself! Wow...how sweet is that. My aunt was a single parent and they always slept together while my cousin was growing up. Not that I want to scare anyone that you'll never get them out of your bed!

Ds (12) is fast asleep next to me right now. Doesn't happen often at all now but he climbed in after his bath and we watched a film together - but he fell asleep after 1/2 hour.
It won't kill either of us

What a lovely, refreshing thread. YANBU.

DS1 is 3 next week - how?! And I was just thinking how I miss our irregular cosleeps. I currently dose through the nights with a newborn who only sleeps on me, not next to me, and it was so lovely with a toddler as there were no safety fears and they are so cuddly! This morning I got up to find dh and DS1 in the spare bed together fast asleep, he had had a nightmare, it melted my heart!

Enjoy it, you are both happy and it is completely natural

We co-slept a lot when DS was tiny as it was the only way he'd sleep, but since about 1 year he is happier with his own space and won't co-sleep even when I want sleepy cuddles I'm jealous of people with children who want to snuggle up close at night. Enjoy co-sleeping, it sounds lovely!

Lone parents here and been co sleeping with my daughter since I split with my ex when dd was two! I want to get her in her own bed though before she starts school in September, be bit lonely for me but she's getting to that age.

I co sleep with my dd. Have done since 9 months. I love it. I know if/when she wants to sleep in her own bed she will but for now we are happy

I loved reading this thread. So many people cosleep but it is such a taboo topic!

we're both happy how we are!

This is all that matters.

realitycheque it's not the norm in the uk but it is normal and the norm in every other country. And was here till the Victorians came along. And was here still amongst many families till the 60s / 70s. And in some very developed countries it is the norm (Japan, Iceland).

It's only weird as the west is weird.

DD has just turned 11 but at least once a week she ends up in bed with me - generally on Saturday nights. I haven't slept regularly with DH for years - he snores, fidgets and is unbearably hot to sleep with. So moved into the spare a long time ago.

In the week DD goes up to bed at 9, but if she is still awake when I go up she'll come into mine. She's not a great sleeper (never has been) but sleeps pretty much instantly if I'm there. It doesn't bother me in the slightest. All that matters is that all of us get a good nights sleep, and we do whatever we need to facilitate this.

We are very close and I think this is part of it. She's usually a pretty outgoing confident child but there are times she needs a little reassurance. Maybe being with me gives her that

knits she's 3 weeks, so only little. Thank you for your advice, that's really helpful

six we do have a grobag so perhaps I can try that.....

We put our 2.9 ds to bed on his own bed every night and 6/7 mornings we wake up with him snuggled up between us. I love it, as soon as i realise hes there I roll over and pull him close. Sometimes 3.8 ds is in too but not very often.

Dont listen to other people he's your boy, if you want to co sleep then that's fine 😊

Ds now 3.5 still semi cosleeps. It seems to be when there are 'problems'!

At 20 mo he wanted to sleep in his own room and if my boobs were detachable he'd have taken them in. However they're not. So he came in at first wake up as I got more sleep that way.

Gradually he lasted longer and has recently been sleeping around 10 hours, which is all night if he's had a nap in the day.

He had a ridiculous number of illnesses caught from nursery in the first 3 years (touch wood lots less now) inc scarlet fever TWICE, so tbh it was easier to be consistent rather than try to battle staying in own room.

Partly due to these and partly as DH works long hours he is very clingy to me, esp at night (that's slowly changing).

I actually would have found it easier if he started off in our my bed tbh.

Incidentally, one of our non sleeping so want to cosleep 'problems' at the mo is when he somehow doesn't need a wee at bedtime then does in the night but is too good at holding on to it (will not go) and is uncomfortable, then we have an accident around 5 am. It's only happened 3 times but recently when it's been v hot and he's been v busy during the day. Others have been nightmares, sore throats, overly busy day.

Sarah Ockwell Smiths gentle sleep book has great ideas for helping toddlers and preschoolers, one of which is spend time playing in their room everyday. And red / orange lights in Eve and at night. I think both have helped ds a lot.

I think what a thread like this shows though (and I felt through my post) is that 1.we feel we are 'doing wrong' and 2. Have to explain / quantify reasons why, when actually it's just normal stuff.

It is actually entirely normal and usual for small children to want / need help at night and sleep near their parents.

Elvis slept with his mum till he was 14

Sounds perfect.

We are/were a co sleeping family. We slept like a pile of puppies, the kids moved to their own beds when they chose to- around 4/5 years old, but were always welcome back, so for a few years would hop in sometimes if they were cold/bad dream/storm/wanted a cuddle.
No big deal in our family.
My youngest is 16 now, and sometimes we still bunk up together. If she is unwell, or just to have a cozy night we may watch episodes of NCIS and eat popcorn , at her request.
My 18 year old DS never sleeps with me I hasten to add!

From a biological perspective it's very normal to have children sleeping with parents.
If you look at other cultures many parents sleep with children, historically and globally. It's actually us in the West who are oddly obsessed with training babies to sleep alone in cots in separate rooms.

I needed this thread.

I coslept on and off with both DSes otherwise I was up all night with them. The past week I've had DS2 (nearly 2) as usual, plus my 4.5 year old because he's terrified of his nightmares. I know I'd be criticized in RL but this way we all get more sleep. DH is in DS1's room!

I do want to get DS1 back in his bed but he has hysterics every time I suggest it.

moonduke, it sounds counter intuitive, but relax on your DS. The more you push the more reluctant he will be to sleep in his own bed.
Make him feel secure and welcome in your bed. At the same time make his own bed appealling, use it for reading stories together at night and during the day. Help him decorate it and feel comfortable there. If he feels less push and more pull he will feel more incline to move to his own space.