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Original poster

I co-sleep with DS (2.11)

94 replies

Bitchqueen90 · 14/05/2016 21:44

Ds is three next month. I still co sleep with him. I'm a lone parent, he was only breastfed until 6 months old. He slept in his own bed for a while when he was younger but when exH and I split he started coming back in with me (just for a bit of company/comfort and it just carried on).

He sleeps in his own bed at exH's, my parents etc. Is it really bad that I co sleep, should I be putting him in his own bed? Blush

OP posts:
caffeine99 · 14/05/2016 22:31

My 2.5 year old is currently snoring in bed beside me.

I have a husband but he sleeps in another room.

Provided that you and your child are happy and getting enough sleep then that's all that matters.

Co-sleeping means that I get more sleep. If I have enough sleep in happy. If I'm happy EVERYONE'S happy.

As someone else said - he won't still be sleeping with you when he's 18 or 19! Enjoy it while you can!

Buddahbelly · 14/05/2016 22:34

I would love to be able to sleep with ds (3.10) but.

  1. He is the worst fidget i've ever come across, and
  2. he snores loudly!

I love his cuddles and his little stories he will tell me when he climbs in but dear god I couldn't sleep next to him if i tried. so for now I just have a few cuddles and put him back in his own bed. friend is a single parent and still has her 9 yr old with her, dont think its weird at all, they are your children!

rainbowflight · 14/05/2016 22:35

I'm glad to hear so many people co-sleep with their children. I've certainly found in RL that the majority of people frown upon it. DD is 5, and although she's been in her own room for about a year now, I still spent part of each night co-sleeping with her there as she won't sleep through on her own.

GreenGoth89 · 14/05/2016 22:36

I co slept on and off with my mum until I was 11 - I had bad anxiety and chronic insomnia between 9-15 but that was the one thing that actually helped. In many other cultures everyone in the family sleeps together in the same room. Nothing wrong with it as long as everyone is happy! I have to say my case was the extreme but we tried everything else!

YesOfCourseAlways · 14/05/2016 22:36

Ds1 co slept with us until he was nearly 4, when he wanted to move into his own bed. He is 18 now and very well adjusted. Do what feels right to you and ignore everyone else!

polosarethefoodofgods · 14/05/2016 22:38

I sort of co sleep now he's 3 nearly 4, I often sit with him til he's asleep then transfer him to his own bed. He'll still visit in the am at silly o clock sometimes. Tbh I'd carry on if he wasn't getting so hoggy with the bed there's three of us. He starfishes whilst me and dp hang off our respective corners of the bed.(love it really)

bellybuttonfairy · 14/05/2016 22:47

I LOVE cosleeping with my lot. The older 2 (9 and 7 yo) are now way to cool to do it. Luckily I have a scrumptious little 4 year old boy who is actually snuggled up next to me at the moment. I definitely would do it especially as a single parent. Why sleep on your own???

I will remember cuddling my babies all night when I am an old lady in my rocking chair. Itll be lovely special memories 😊

ShelaghTurner · 14/05/2016 22:52

I co-sleep with dd2 who is 4.4. DD1 only moved into her own room at Easter and she's 8! They both had their own rooms all along but never wanted to be in them.

mummyto2monkeys · 14/05/2016 22:53

To be honest, your son has a lot of change/ turmoil in his little life. Sleeping with your ds is likely providing the safety and comfort that he needs to cope with the turmoil.

My autistic eight year old ds is curled up next to me. He usually sleeps all night in his own bed but he is very anxious just now. I have co slept with both of my children. They always started out in their crib/ Cot/ bed then would come in beside us if they woke. Co sleeping was a life and sanity saver when my son was smaller.

As a nation we are very funny about where we put our babies to sleep. Co sleeping is the norm in many cultures and has been for thousands of years. As a Mother I still jump awake in time to know my child is burning up/ in pain/ sleep walking.I have been biologically programmed for sleeping with my child.

I remember watching a program where British volunteers were helping in deprived areas of India/ Africa. One of the volunteers shared that a group of young Mothers had asked him 's it true that in your country you put babies in cages?'

I remember smiling and thinking how strange it is indeed that to people living in the poorest conditions it is so unfathomable that we put our babies in cages overnight. My son certainly felt imprisoned in his beautiful cot😂, which got much better use after his sister was born.

HostaFireandIce · 14/05/2016 22:55

I think it's lovely. My DS(4) and I cosleep when my husband is away and I love it.

hazelangell · 14/05/2016 22:55

I love this thread! I've been feeling weird about co-sleeping with my 5 yr old, mainly because people make comments if it comes up. He DID sleep in his own bed before but when his dad and I split I needed him close (my ex said he'd steal him etc) and I've not really felt the need to boot him out yet! They're only little once and I'm making the most of him still wanting my company.

sixinabed · 14/05/2016 23:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Elephantslovetofly · 14/05/2016 23:14

To those of you who have coslept with young babies - how do you do it safely? Have you just had your baby snuggled next to you, or have you used a sleepyhead (or similar)? I tend to have my daughter with me from about 6am when she wakes to feed, but I'm so scared of smothering her or her falling out of bed that I don't actually fall asleep myself! I also don't know if I should have the duvet over her or not - she seems cold without it, but I don't want her to overheat. I love the idea of cosleeping but just want to do it as safely as possible

For info - my husband is also in the bed (he is quite big) and our bed is king size

Pico2 · 14/05/2016 23:22

We had a sidecar cot. But generally I ended up with my baby propped up on me somehow. DD1 slept with her head on my arm (and still does given the option). DD2 would throw up if she was laid flat within an hour of a feed, so she slept propped up against me until I could safely move her into her cot. But she cut back on night feeds pretty early and isn't nearly as interested in cuddling up, so fairly quickly just slept in the sidecar cot. She is now in her own room and even if she has a bit of a broken night, coming into our bed does nothing for her.

Ilovewillow · 14/05/2016 23:27

We don't as a matter of course, they both start in their own beds but quite often end up co-sleeping with one of our children (2) and (8)! Don't force it he will move when he's ready!

TwoLittleBlooms · 14/05/2016 23:35

He is still so little, if you are happy and he is happy then let the co-sleeping continue. My eldest co-slept for quite some time after this age (about 6) and at 13 still occasionally sneaks in for a cuddle! My youngest (16 months) now sleeps most of the night in our bed (it is the only way we get any sleep!). He will stop when he is ready, why rush it?

PaulAnkaTheDog · 14/05/2016 23:35

Ds came into my bed every night until he was five and a half. He liked cuddles, it was too tiring to move him back every night, so I just went with it. He's now nine and I need a shovel to lever him out of his bed in the morning!

theigloohaslanded · 15/05/2016 00:08

My boy's 9 and showing no sign of going to his own - very nice- room. Single mum making the most of every lovely minute and don't give a stuff about what anyone says.

KnitsBakesAndReads · 15/05/2016 00:33

How old is your DD, elephant?

When I have our baby in bed he lies next to me, not in a Sleepyhead or anything. A good idea is to lie on your side facing your baby and with your arm pointing above the baby to prevent pillows going near the baby and with your legs bent so there's kind of a protected space for the baby to lie in. Baby should lie on their back and their face should be level with your boobs. Never have the baby's head on your pillow. You should make sure your bedding isn't near to the baby (you might need to wear warmer clothes yourself as you can't fully cover yourself with a duvet) as it could cover their face. Also make sure the baby can't fall out of bed. We have a co sleeping crib attached to the bed so if our baby did roll away from me he would only roll into the crib.

If you Google safe cosleeping you should find full guidelines - please don't treat what I've said as everything you need to know, just a few tips! :-)

sepa · 15/05/2016 00:53

I can't wait for DD to be bigger to hop into my bed (I'm scared I will squash her at the moment as I have a chronic pain condition so take strong painkillers) I love it at 6am when I know I won't fall asleep and she is cuddled onto me. Same with our bedtime routine

UmbongoUnchained · 15/05/2016 00:58

I co slept till 18 months. I would've done it longer but she doesn't like cuddles anymore Sad

Am co sleeping tonight though as I had to tell her off today for the first time and the guilt is killing me so am having secret snuggles while she's asleep.

ilovewelshrarebit123 · 15/05/2016 01:01

I've got a thread about this in classics, my DD is 8 and she's still in with me. She likes it and I'm not that bothered. Do what's best for you both.

ElizaCBennett · 15/05/2016 01:04

We humans seem to be the only species that expect our young to sleep alone from an early age. If you don't have a partner to complain; I say go for it. As long as you are happy and your DC is safe, why not?

PrancingQueen · 15/05/2016 01:04

Just waiting for DS (3.8) to join me any time now!
He'll go to sleep in his own bed then I'll wake up with an elbow in my ribs or a foot on my face Hmm- (he's a fidgety sleeper) but I love it and he's only little. I'm also a lone parent and it's just me and him.
Enjoy while you can OP!

Strokethefurrywall · 15/05/2016 01:08

Absolutely not unreasonable - if I wasn't regularly getting kicked in the head by either of my two I'd love to co-sleep!
I never coslept with DS1 as a baby as he was so happy being swaddled and left on his own but coslept with DS2 because he was a boob monster and fed through the night. Favorite memories of waking up with his tiny head tucked up under my chin. I had to move him into his own room when he got too wriggly!

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