Hello.
I am due to get married in about a week, me and my partner both have a 3 year old daughter.
His mum has always been a bit snidey and off with me since day 1 - my partner tells me it's because I'm not successful and all of the other numerous reasons (excuses) he's told me over the years.
I will try to cut this short.
I've been with her son now for nearly 8 years. In the beginning me and his mum weren't close, she would often make remarks, and buy me presents that basically took the piss Eg a top that was XL when I was only a size 10 at the time. I always laughed it off and never tried to take much notice at the little comments and digs.
Since my daughter was born, she instantly tried to take control. she would take her off me and stand in the corner of the room rocking her to sleep in front of her whole family and leave me there wanting my baby back but not having the balls to say it at the time. Then came picture taking, she would leave me out of the shot whilst taking a pic of my DP and our daughter - that day we drove home and I cried all the way. I couldn't believe how horrible she was being.
Since then its ''oh she gets that off my son'' ''oh she gets that from my daughter'' blah blah blah, its like I never gave birth to her.
She has an issue with telling us how we should parent our daughter, and told us we needed to put her into childcare so that she could play with other children her own age (at the time I wasn't comfortable with it, as we'd just taken her out of a different nursery she had been in for a year) my partner said we didn't want to her answer was ''well I think she needs to go''
So one day I decided to write a message on Facebook, sending it to her, detailing how upset I was with her little digs and basically excluding me all of the time. WELL... she went barmy! she rang her husband, rang my partner, got her daughter... her daughter was sending my partner (her brother) messages saying ''have you seen what such and such is saying about mum'' and was copy and pasting all of the messages I had sent over to him. She tried to bully me into apologising and started twisting it around victimising herself and bringing up incidents (that I apparently caused) that never happened saying its all my fault and I'm the trouble maker.
I've come to realise she's is a covert narcissist. She chose to ignore me for a further two months, even when on several occasions I tried to ring and talk to her, to even apologise for how I may have approached talking to her about it. she excluded from inviting me around for xmas and invited my daughter and her son only. I was very lucky that my partner said no and we had xmas at home instead. She didn't like that and refused to bring our daughters presents around stating that she wanted to watch her open them at hers so they went around on boxing day instead - without me.
I eventually caved, through all of the emotional torment and full on apologised, she then rang up my partner and said ''I read her message I saw it as her apologising, so I accept her apology but I will still give advice and suggestions where I see fit''
I don't know If I can tolerate her anymore, I cant tell if I'm being pathetic or if she's gas lighting me..... I feel so beaten and trodden on emotionally, mentally. She has made comments about how brown hair is horrible (my hair is dark brown) and that my daughters hair comes from her because her hair is blonde.... She has said this to my face.
Am I being unreasonable here, am I being pathetic and just nit picking stupid things? I feel like I never used to do this, its only been since my daughter than I noticed it getting worse.
There is so much more I can add on here about her but I wont as its long enough already and I promised to cut it as short as possible!