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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU - vegan dinner party guest EATING FISH

709 replies

isitginoclock · 13/05/2016 20:06

We're throwing a dinner party. I've just excused myself to the loo to write this because I'm FUMING!! One of our guests has recently become a vegan. I spent bloody ages making her a mushroom pate for starter which she happily tucked into whilst we ate our salmon tartare. She then asked if she could try some salmon.

Wtf?!?!

I've bought loads of different stuff for her to eat and spent all frigging day cooking it. Why do I bother?!

OP posts:
PovertyPain · 14/05/2016 15:54

But vegans eating the fish course aren't rude.

If they're eating the fish, they aren't vegetarian.

That's like me saying I'm teetotal but I'll just have a small glass of wine. in reality I'd finish the bottle

originalmavis · 14/05/2016 16:02

Just rude to the fish. And to the host who has gone out of their way to make something edible for them only to have the 'vegan' decided nah, they fancy the fish instead.

Worse are the meat eaters who nick your veggie food so that all you get are crackers and mustard sachets. I'm talking about airplanes here. Bastards.

limitedperiodonly · 14/05/2016 16:10

Just rude to the fish. And to the host who has gone out of their way to make something edible for them only to have the 'vegan' decided nah, they fancy the fish instead. Worse are the meat eaters who nick your veggie food so that all you get are crackers and mustard sachets. I'm talking about airplanes here. Bastards.

I don't understand this at all. She asked to try the fish. She had already eaten the yummy mushroom pate OP made for her.

I've never been on a plane where it's a buffet. You get what you're given and if you ask for an alternative, they give it if they have some. It's not the responsibility of the passengers to think about rationing the food to make sure everyone gets their specified meal. That's the responsibility of the cabin crew.

Libitina · 14/05/2016 16:15

I have heard frequently that a bacon butty is the most regular cause of a vegetarian falling off the wagon. I have no idea if there is any truth to that, but given how good they taste, wouldn't be surprised.

I was a vegetarian for several years as a teenager (my Mother assumd that I would like warm cheese and onion quiche with every meal - can't eat it nowadays because of this). A bacon sandwich was my downfall. Blush

TBH, even now I don't eat a huge amount of meat barring bacon butties and will usually choose the veggie option if eating out. Though these days it's just because I'm not overly keen on the texture and if I find a vein I have to leave the whole lot or I'll barf!

SuburbanRhonda · 14/05/2016 16:18

What is it about bacon? I'm vegetarian and I can't bear even the smell of it.

JessieMcJessie · 14/05/2016 16:19

limited that was my post you quoted from. There may well be people who adopt a vegan diet for health reasons, and are therefore more likely to fall off the wagon than those who do it for moral ones, but it is implicit in the statement "I am vegan" that it is a moral choice. People who simply prefer a vegan diet would presumably not tell a party host that they were vegan without adding a caveat that they were quite relaxed and would eat non vegan food as well. The veganism is a bit of a red herring really - this is about telling your host to cater for your specific needs and then acting in a way that says "you didn't need to bother". Could be anything really- someone who claims a nut allergy and then eats peanuts, a Muslim who says they only eat halal and then happily consumes mom halal meat etc etc.

JessieMcJessie · 14/05/2016 16:22

Libitna what sort of bizarre meat have you been exposed to? I have never seen a vein in a meat dish in my life! (And I have eaten plenty)

BikeRunSki · 14/05/2016 16:34

I don't eat meat largely because I was served a piece of offal complete with veins still plumbed in when I was about 8. The French may be considered some of the best cooks in the world, but not with 1970s school dinners.

SuburbanRhonda · 14/05/2016 16:38

it is implicit in the statement "I am vegan" that it is a moral choice

It's not really common sense to assume anything about the reasons for being vegan. Best just to ask the vegan if you really need to know.

limitedperiodonly · 14/05/2016 16:41

but it is implicit in the statement "I am vegan" that it is a moral choice.

I don't agree. jessie - I do usually quote people btw. I just forgot. Sorry. My friend eats a vegan diet, would not consume flesh, milk or eggs and would tell a host that. He wouldn't feel the need to inform anyone else. I thought he was vegetarian and the only reason I know he's vegan is because someone else decided to challenge him on his ethics. I don't know whether other vegans would accept him for his relaxed stance on animal welfare but I know who was the ruder dinner party guest.

I don't know how he feels about honey. I must ask him next time we meet.

Legendofthephoenix · 14/05/2016 19:10

How does a vegan get away with what they buy. You don't eat meat but what about goods that were made from an animal. My next door neighbours are vegans they wear leather shoes and there car seats are made with leather. How do some of you shop.Smile

Alisvolatpropiis · 14/05/2016 19:16

I know a few vegetarians who are vegetarians because they don't like meat, nothing to do with being concerned for animal welfare.

SuburbanRhonda · 14/05/2016 19:21

legend

I think someone upthread said veganism is about what you eat so there's no contradiction if someone follows a vegan diet but wears leather shoes.

Unless I eat your shoes, that is Wink

SuburbanRhonda · 14/05/2016 19:21

you eat your shoes Blush

limitedperiodonly · 14/05/2016 19:30

Unless they are causing you nuisance, what your neighbours do is none of you or your partner's concern legend, including the people you believe aren't feeding their cat correctly.

I eat meat, wear fur and have a cat. I rescue bumblebees but have a zero tolerance policy towards slugs and snails.

Middleoftheroad · 14/05/2016 19:43

It is annoying. I have been vegetarian for nearly 30 years, since school. I don't eat meat or fish but i do wear leather, eat eggs in cakes etc. i dont impose my views on others as, unless you live naked on a mountain top drinking stream water, you cannot avoid animal cruelty of some kind. . However it does piss me off when people claim to be veggie but eat fish/chicken or said to me that when i was preggers i would eat meat again - err nope, i didnt. The point here is your effort, her lack of respect.

isseywithcats · 14/05/2016 19:44

i work at a cat rescue center once a week as a volunteer and because all the other people i work with are vegans or veggies i find it easier to just take a veggie lunch for myself than sit there eating any sort of meat because there im the one in the minority lol

NoBetterName · 14/05/2016 19:50

Sounds obvious, but are you CERTAIN that she said she'd gone vegan? I've been pescetarian for a long time, but make a lot of vegan food at home because the dc's are both allergic to dairy and eggs. I turned up to one party for the hosts to proudly explain how they'd spent all day looking for this and that vegan food and then everybody started asking, "what's it like to be vegan?" I was torn between pretending I was for the evening and saying that they'd misunderstood. I opted for the latter, but suspect they were fuming after all their efforts.

Middleoftheroad · 14/05/2016 19:55

Vegetarians or vegans dont just sample/taste meat either. The thought makes me feel sick and undermines choice - choices some have lived with for decades.

limitedperiodonly · 14/05/2016 20:22

Someone probably started a live thread about you from the loo NoBetterName.

Incidentally, I'm a bit worried about OP. Is she trapped in the bog? Has her charge run out? Has the fake vegan eaten her?

JessieMcJessie · 14/05/2016 20:31

Why avoid all meat bikerunski and not just offal? That's like saying you don't eat any vegetables because you hate the taste of fennel. Confused

Breadandwine · 14/05/2016 21:04

I only know one vegan, and she looks so pale and unhealthy sad bags under her eyes, always tired and ill. It's a shame because she seems to really embrace the vegan lifestyle and is always posting vegan stuff she has found at local shops on her FB. She just isn't selling the lifestyle though!

If it makes you feel any better, WanHeda, I'm a 78-yr-old vegan - and yesterday I did 1000 press ups in 50 minutes. I also swing a 9kg kettle bell around. Grin

Maybe your friend has an underlying condition that has nothing to do with being vegan!

SuburbanRhonda · 14/05/2016 21:08

Blimey, breadandwine, you sound hard as fuck Grin

ethelb · 14/05/2016 21:35

Glassgarden - conscious meat reducer is often used.
It means you take responsibility for your own meat consumption where possible, but suck it up in situations where it is hard to do.

SuburbanRhonda · 14/05/2016 21:43

Sounds a sensible idea, ethel but do you really need a label for that? Does anyone really care how much meat anyone else eats and how often?

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