Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Buying friends children presents for birthdays

33 replies

Kaleandberry · 12/05/2016 22:54

I asked my friend what she wanted me to buy her 2 year old for her birthday and she asked me to buy a £25-30 electric toy. I am not working, I was thinking of a little outfit or something, maybe a summer dress from next, something under £10. Maybe I am being tight, do you think I am?
I do not have children so I don't know the social norm.

OP posts:
FutureGadgetsLab · 12/05/2016 22:55

Jesus! No yanbu, that's ridiculous.

Newtobecomingamum · 12/05/2016 22:57

YANBU £25-30 that is a cheek! Especially if she knows you are not working. She can't be a good friend surely? I wouldn't dare suggest that to a 'friend'. I would spend £10 max on a friend's child present. You are in the right OP!

gamerchick · 12/05/2016 22:58

Don't ask just get. Don't get what she's asking for, just go with your outfit.

If she twists about it afterwards then she's not your friend.

ShakyMilk · 12/05/2016 22:58

My friends buy my kids and it makes me uncomfortable. They get so much from everyone and they barely see my friends so it just seems pointless. I usually tell them not to feel like they have to. I would really rather they didn't. But then I would never give them a list of what to buy and if they ask I usually give them a cheap option like hair bobbles, colouring books etc. Just get a token gift x

Iknownuffink · 12/05/2016 22:59

The kid is two, it has no need for an expensive electronic toy!

SavoyCabbage · 12/05/2016 23:02

Just buy them something else. And never ask! It's fraught with difficulties. My best friend and I do books. You can never have too many and it's nice to have books that you wouldn't have necessarily chosen yourself.

My favourite present for a two year old is a Brio pull along dog. They are about £10.

Gooseysgirl · 12/05/2016 23:02

My upper limit for gifts for friends kids is £10, everyone tends to spend £5-£10

Gooseysgirl · 12/05/2016 23:04

And your friend is taking the piss!! However if she really wants that toy for her kid maybe a few of you could club together... Grin

Original poster
Kaleandberry · 12/05/2016 23:07

Her partner has this rich friend who brought her daughter diamond earrings, I think she seems to believe all her friends are like his or something. I wish I did not even ask, learnt my lesson there that's for sure!!

OP posts:
MadamDeathstare · 12/05/2016 23:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EverySongbirdSays · 12/05/2016 23:41

I stopped buying for the children of certain friends, they each ended up having several and it just became a bit constant.And it wasn't really that appreciated and I never got any kind of small token, ever. I only buy for my goddaughter and her sister now as I feel I shouldn't treat them differently. My best friend is due her PFB shortly.

I spoke to my friend about it and we agreed clothes or books never toys as they already have plenty. A big toy is inappropriate for a none family member. I class £30 for a childs toy as a big toy.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 12/05/2016 23:48

This should be on the Cheeky Request thread. Shock
Working or not £10 is more than enough to spend on a child, who at the end of the day is no relation to you. £25-30. She's got to be on glue. I don't even spend that on my own nephew

DailyMailShite · 12/05/2016 23:48

Buy a modest gift and n a couple of months tell her that you ant to cut back on gift giving. Suggest you both stop getting each other and each other's kids presents.

thatorchidmoment · 12/05/2016 23:49

Ridiculous. Ignore her demand suggestion. Buy a little book and say something like, "I remember loving this one when I was little". She is probably not trying to offend, just being a bit thoughtless. You, on the other hand, can make your gift thoughtful and cheaper. She will be grateful for it later when you have not contributed to the vast pile of plastic that inevitably accumulates in a child's room!

kissmelittleass · 12/05/2016 23:50

If your friend is comfortably off then maybe just maybe she actually thinks that's not a lot of money! I have learnt the hard way in the past not to ask but just get what you can afford. I agree to buy an outfit from next or Mothercare and a tenner is more than enough imp. Yanbu by the way!

Hobbes8 · 12/05/2016 23:54

If people ask me, even if I know they're prepared to spend a few quid (grandparents for example) I always give a really broad theme like 'batman' or ''peppa pig'. That way people can buy a sheet of stickers or a £40 playset depending on their budget. I wouldn't mind saying not to bother getting a present, but I find people tend not to find that helpful - no one takes you at your word and some people genuinely want some guidance.

A specific thing is rude regardless of budget, I think.

fatmomma99 · 12/05/2016 23:58

Y are def not BU. So you need to do something that negates her request. If you are arty, then make something. Or if not, buy something. I'd say NOT an outfit, because that's quite a traditional gift. Best go for something weird and whacky.

UmbongoUnchained · 12/05/2016 23:59

Depends on the friend. Me and my best friend spend quite a bit on each others kids because we're all so close and practically co parent together so love all our kids together. But if it was a friend that I didn't see often or I wasn't close to then 5-10 quid would be OK.

LunaMay · 13/05/2016 00:01

Why are you buying her presents? A small token gift is enough surely. We don't buy for friends kids unless they were having a party

MattDillonsPants · 13/05/2016 00:23

When people ask me...which I hate...because I'd rather they chose something themselves to reflect their idea of the child and what she might enjoy....I say "Thank you for asking,...don't get much though...she loves crafty stuff in general."

So they can spend a couple of pounds or as much as they like.

OP just get the outfit and if she asks say "Oh I ran out of time" and then label her rude in your head.

NapQueen · 13/05/2016 00:26

I'd just say "oh, it's over what I was planning to spend, could I get a voucher to put towards it or shall I just pick out something else I think she would like?"

It's rude to suggest something like that without knowing what you would usually spend.

AerithEarling · 13/05/2016 10:55

If you ask someone though you expect them to have common sense and not ask for a big gift like that even if it is family.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 13/05/2016 11:21

Diamond earrings?! Some people but such stupid shit. My friends had a rich friend when I was little, he bought me a crystal rose and vase for my 8th birthday. It was beautiful and intricate and very expensive. I would have been happier with a pack of jelly bracelets for a quid.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 13/05/2016 11:38

(Parents had a rich friends, not friend had a rich friend)

Notso · 13/05/2016 11:50

I always feel awkward when people ask what to buy DC. I usually say books or Lego as people can easily buy to budget.