... To think there are too many cries of LTB on MN?!

[MummyBex1985]

Seriously. Day in, day out.

It worries me that so many MNers see marriage as being so disposable.

Cheaters, chronic liars, DV, fair enough. But at least half of the threads I see on here certainly don't warrant a LTB

Is this genuinely representative of the population which might explain divorce rates in this country or is it confined to MN?

228 Don't be obtuse. People have a moan but it doesn't mean they want it to be the end of their relationship.

And cancel the cheque too.

Yes let's no-one say ltb any more then. That'll sort the country's divorce rate out and solve lots of problems like no more single parents, and all children will be happy. We could change it to sbym (stand by your man)

This is a forum for predominantly women that offers a huge amount of support and advice. Of course there will be a gazillion cries of LTB because there will be hundreds of women seeking help on here who are shit relationships.

Complaining about this is like going on Money Saving Expert and saying too many people say look for a loan with a low interest rate.

yabu - do you seriously think that everyone will actually LTB just because a load of strangers on the internet have told them to?

Some of it is true, a lot of it is harmless jokes.

With your username OP have you come visiting from the pink and glittery huns?

I often think theres too much 'i never say ltb but this time...' like thats something graet. Why is never saying ltb a good thing? Surely that just means, 'i always think that you should put up with x behaviour...'

Personally I'm outraged by all the threads complaining about all the threads telling people to LTB. Far too many of them if you ask me.

Surely all these nose-poking busybodies should step away from the keyboard and stop telling others what not to do. Or something.

I'm not in a relationship. But I'm thinking of having one, just so I can LTB because it's the in thing to do.

I think the problem is more people marrying the wrong person in the first place.
Therefore MN is doing a good thing with the LTBs as it might prevent unsuitable marriages from occurring in the first place!

It isn't a representative sample of what mumsnetters think of marriage in general-it's what mumsnetters think of abusive marriages. Most people don't post that their marriage is generally good and they're overall pretty happy. When many threads are about how their husband treats them badly it's obviously going to lead to people suggest the op leaves.

It's a huge leap to say mumsnetters think marriage is disposable.

That's really funny, Jaimx86. I'm surprised no one else has commented on it. It made me snort!!!

I often say LTB and am joking, I've occasionally said it and meant it.

I know what you mean because there have been threads I've started where people have picked up and run with things which I knew were trivial or irrelevant, which have changed the tone of the thread to something which I knew was rubbish. That's not their fault... It's the danger when you do this... when you shout a message to the world, giving the information you feel is relevant, you can't be surprised or upset when the world picks up bits and pieces and doesn't see the whole picture that you do. That's not the world's fault, they haven't been living on your shoulder for the past xxx time.

I've found people on MN to be wise, often very funny, sensitive, sometimes mad, sometimes spiteful, usually genuinely trying to give a perspective or an example from their own lives. Sometimes the world gets it wrong. Sometimes the OP didn't phrase it well.

I have more problem with "go NC" as I'm in conflict with my DSis, and NC in a family is harder than you would think in practical terms, when there's so much in common, and it all impacts on other relatives. But I guess I should start my own thread for that....

It isn't LTB that bothers me but LTB immediately, now, this minute. And get back to us to confirm you have. There is something weird about that.

Sometimes LTB or go NC are given as a solution. If he really is a bastard the problems for the kids won't go away. They are likely to have lots of unsupervised time with him.
Glib advice sometimes given on MN (and lots of projection) but some posters give sound practical advice based on real knowledge.
Advice needs to be taken very selectively.

Agree with observer too.

I don't think Mumsnet is a particularly fair representation of society or life.

"LTB", "safeguarding issues", "suffer from anxiety", , "call OFSTED", "horrified/mortified/disgusted", "you aren't safe, leave the house immediately", "feminist issue / patriarchal society", [something innocuous]-shaming."...

It's not real life. The indignation, hyperbole and general angst is what makes the forum so addictive.

Yanbu because you are entitled to your opinion. Ironically this is exactly the same reason why MNs are entitled to post LTB whether you deem it justified or not.

...but I do wonder how many vulnerable posters dive into LTB when it's not necessarily the right thing because a load of MNers have piled on telling her to leave.

Yes, I'm sure there are loads of women upping and leaving their partners because a few faceless randoms on the internet told them to.

I actually think women remaining in abusive relationships because of some kind of sense of societal duty to the institution of marriage is more of a problem than strangers on the Internet giving their opinion that they would not put up with various kinds of shit people post that their partners do to them.

Leaving should be seen as a valid option more often. The OP doesn't have to do it, but just knowing that it is ok to do that (and knowing that others might in their situation) is empowering

Meant to say that i agree with the bolded comment!

Totally agree. It's very easy to say LTB, sitting in an ivory tower. Agree with the chests, Dv cases etc but, some of the cries of LTB are actually pathetic.

Cheats not chests

They're not pathetic when you've read posters previous threads or when the warning signs are flashing. Just because YOU can't see them, doesn't mean they're not.

When the op is posting in Relationships it's not because she's happy.

I started one along a similar line lilac; it certainly wasn't deleted!

I think LTB and or ending the marriage is acceptable and should be encouraged where a marriage is abusive.

How often does ltb get advised when there isn't a level of abuse, addiction or cheating? I've never seen it. I've seen posters get defensive and deny that their B is abusive or enumerate his many other good points but there is invariably some unacceptable behaviour

Not really, Jon, I started a thread not about mumsnet (shocking I know! ) which lilac has referenced in this thread.

ABC. It would be interesting to read your thread, is it still around? I'd be interested to see what it was you said that made people say LTB. Perhaps you are content to put up with behaviour that many others would not.