Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Don't want to read and run....wtf?

104 replies

wolfwhistleme · 12/05/2016 10:42

namechanged. I find this phrase completely and utterly unnecessary and annoying..so there! Ok..those that go to the effort of prefixing this phrase to a sentence are not actually reading and running but they want you to know that they're not reading and running..it makes no sense!

OP posts:
wolfwhistleme · 12/05/2016 11:16

Hastal, couldn't agree more.

OP posts:
wolfwhistleme · 12/05/2016 11:18

I appreciate your time silver. Now bog off! Grin

OP posts:
ExtraHotLatteToGo · 12/05/2016 11:18

Nothing wrong with it at all. It lets someone know that someone is thinking about them, but they don't know what to say/don't have time to reply properly right then and not just reading, rolling their eyes and moving onto the next thread.

I'd rather read 10 posts saying 'What X-poster said' than 10 posts saying the same thing, that make it look like none of them have read anyone else's post because theirs is clearly the only one that will matter.

paxillin · 12/05/2016 11:19

But about "didn't want to read and run"- it is a gesture of sympathy. The same a s a friend who listens to a problem but has no advice. As are the Flowers. Not necessary, but a friendly human gesture.

youshouldcancelthecheque · 12/05/2016 11:20

Didn't want to read this and run but maybe you need to chill out?

leelu66 · 12/05/2016 11:20

I don't use it! Problem not solved as other people keep using it and I think the phrase should be banned!

But a lot of people do read and run. So what's wrong with someone acknowledging that they have read the post but can't offer much in the way of advice?

You forget that a lot of threads don't get a lot of traffic so someone stopping by to say they didn't want to read and run but are offering sympathy may mean a lot to the poster of the thread.

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 12/05/2016 11:21

Also, what GamerChick said - own your own shit, don't name change to be a twat.

wolfwhistleme · 12/05/2016 11:22

Yes, Extra, but the poster doesn't know that you might be reading, rolling your eyes and moving on..what if you do? They'll never know. Why bother with the silly phrase?

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 12/05/2016 11:22

It's a bump and it's to show sympathy or that somebody is listening.

I have found it comforting. It's only necessary (IMO) on very emotive threads.

FlyingElbows · 12/05/2016 11:23

I don't understand why people name change then tell everyone they've done it. What's the point?

MiffleTheIntrovert · 12/05/2016 11:24

I really think shit like this makes a mockery of the NC facility. I would occasionally NC if I was posting about my DC with very identifying SN and NC change every couple of years for various other good reasons.

NCing when you know you're just posting goady trivial shite is an abuse of it, IMHO.

PurpleDaisies · 12/05/2016 11:24

Yes, Extra, but the poster doesn't know that you might be reading, rolling your eyes and moving on..what if you do? They'll never know. Why bother with the silly phrase?

You obviously don't understand what people are saying when they're using it. It's a general expression of I'm listening but I don't know the right thing to say. Not eye rolling. If you've ever posted an emotional thread and had no replies you'd get it.

BertieBotts · 12/05/2016 11:24

Also sometimes you do read a thread and think oh god, how terrible, or feel strongly for the person but you can't specifically help. It does feel callous to "read and run" ie close the thread and then go onto some amusing story about somebody's cat. So it helps to post something even if it isn't very helpful.

Hopeisallihavenow · 12/05/2016 11:25

Didn't want to read and run. Didn't want to read and run. Didn't want to read and run. Didn't want to read and run. Didn't want to read and run. Didn't want to read and run. Didn't want to read and run. Didn't want to read and run. Didn't want to read and run. Didn't want to read and run. Didn't want to read and run. Didn't want to read and run. Didn't want to read and run. Didn't want to read and run. Didn't want to read and run. Didn't want to read and run. Didn't want to read and run. Didn't want to read and run. Didn't want to read and run. Didn't want to read and run. Didn't want to read and run. Didn't want to read and run. Didn't want to read and run.

TheWindInThePillows · 12/05/2016 11:26

'I don't want to read and run..' is used a lot in on the Relationship boards or when someone is clearly in crisis right now and needs a bit of hand holding, but the OP isn't very experienced or doesn't know exactly what to say.

They don't usually write it alone, often they write 'hope some more experienced posters come along soon'.

It's an acknowledgement that shit has happened.

Why this act of empathy would bother you, I can't imagine?!

wolfwhistleme · 12/05/2016 11:27

Extrahotlatte. . You're not really in the spirit for a bit of fun are you?! ...Take a Biscuit for your delightful twat comment!

OP posts:
Thurlow · 12/05/2016 11:30

Because sometimes you see a thread that moves you, or upsets you, or you just want to let a poster know that you feel for their situation but you haven't really got any decent advice to give.

BertieBotts · 12/05/2016 11:30

OK here's an example.

Somebody posts a thread with the title "Help me with potty training". I click on it thinking maybe I can help.

On reading the thread it becomes clear that the poster is having a totally different issue to the one my DC had. I can't help so I close the thread and move onto the next one. It's not something I feel particularly strongly about, I just don't have anything to say.

A bit later I see a thread called something like "My dog is behaving oddly". On reading the thread I realise that the poster is extremely distressed because they are very close to their dog and the dog is obviously displaying symptoms of some kind of illness, but their vet can't help. I have no advice, because I don't really know anything about dogs, but the poster seems sad and lonely and nobody is answering.

This time the "Didn't want to read and run. Hope you get some answers soon Flowers" response might be appropriate.

shovetheholly · 12/05/2016 11:33

YABU. It's a lovely thing people write when they are in a hurry (which is sometimes unavoidable) to show support, and to apologise for only making a brief post when a longer and more in-depth one is really required. It's the kind of supportive we need more of!

Hydroshield · 12/05/2016 11:35

When I see that in a post to me it means, "I've read your thread. I don't feel I have any helpful advice but I want to acknowledge you and your situation and bump so someone else who does have advice will read it and add reply"

Perfectly straightforward and no need for a name change.

fourquenelles · 12/05/2016 11:36

It makes me sad that some people may feel this way about a phrase that I see as being empathetic and supporting. Some poor poster has spilt their guts and/or inner most troubles, worries, confessions and then ............tumbleweed. Knowing that someone out there has read the post even if they can't help or advise must give comfort I would have thought. If you don't like the phrase OP, don't use it. Simples (or are you against meerkats too?).

LadyAntonella · 12/05/2016 11:39

Agree with what quenelles just said really. Also I have no idea why the OP felt the need to name change if it's "just a bit of fun" Confused.

wolfwhistleme · 12/05/2016 11:39

BertieBotts..I can see what you mean. I would prob write something like : "I can see how this must be distressing for you, don't have personal experience in this area but please keep us posted on progress." Rather than the annoying prefix to that sentence. That's all I'm saying.

OP posts:
AdrenalineFudge · 12/05/2016 11:40

Yabu and I don't understand why you name changed specifically for this post Confused

CarolH78 · 12/05/2016 11:40
Swipe left for the next trending thread