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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In light of a mumsnetters new found fame.....

114 replies

Catvsworld · 11/05/2016 13:41

Your most grabby stories

I will go first my son who was 13 at the time was invited to a theme park I didn't think nothing of it and said he could go but he would pass my number to the boys mum to sort out how they are getting there meet up times ect

The night before I get a text saying just to let you know it will be £80 for the following

Ticket
Fast pass
And lunch Confused

Before I could respond I then got a text saying I understand you will have 3 spare seats in the back could you pick up .....and ........and ........ Followed by there address its all been sorted wtf

I had to tell my son sadly he wouldn't go as she invited him and we didn't have £80 spare and even if we did have the money to go no way would we be paying for a fast pass and definitely wouldn't be leaving a hour early to pick up the other boys as they didn't even leave near us let alone near each other o sadly it meant the other 3 boys couldn't go but why on earth she felt she could arrange lifts when she hadn't asked me and for boys I or my son didn't even no

Grabby birthday lady

OP posts:
IWILLgiveupsugar · 11/05/2016 16:34

These threads make me really angry. Why are you all such wusses at sticking up for yourselves?

bubblegurl252 · 11/05/2016 16:34

I have a split bill one to.
My husband and I were invited out for a meal for my MILs birthday (the day of) we of course said we'd love to but that we were very short on money so will only be having mains as the place they chose was very expensive.
So my husband and I only ordered a main each and drank water. His brothers and their partners also had starters and deserts. His 1 brother and sister in law had a couple of bottle of wines each, then of course the other family members ordered coffees and beers etc.

The meal ends and the bill arrives. Cue my BILs wife announcing we're all splitting the bill. The individual cost she'd calculated was more than both our meals combined. We obviously said we couldn't do that as we literally had no more money (it was just before payday).
She went ballistic, said we'd ruined the day and we shouldn't be so selfish and EVERYONE has to pay the same.
I put our cash (the cost of our 2 meals) on the little dish thing and left it at that.

RuggerHug · 11/05/2016 16:37

Jumpjump like I said, I was an idiot who felt bad for her. She didn't have any other real friends (yup I see why now!). I was phasing her out for a while but she thankfully quickened that by posting how horrible I was for not answering straight away when she offered to ask me to be her bridesmaid (would only ask in person and obviously I had to travel to her despite her being in my city 4 times a week). I'm well rid despite my 'personality disorder' being the reason I haven't begged forgiveness HmmGrin

Ouriana · 11/05/2016 16:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheWhompingWilly · 11/05/2016 16:44

Went out for dinner with a group of friends. When the bill came, we split it equally and everyone put in cash except for one guy who pocketed the cash and put the full amount on his credit card. Not a problem, except we later found out that it was a company credit card and he'd claimed it on expenses. So not only was his meal free, he made a nice profit from our payments.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 11/05/2016 16:47

OP, it was bad organisation to tell you a ticket price for a theme park the night before and expect cash.

For future reference, if you buy a ticket for a theme park online and print it out it's half price and you jump the gate queue on arrival. You can also save up clubcard points to buy much cheaper entry tickets (works out about £8)

My Grabby story: I bought lots of Halloween decorations for a house party and lent them to my neighbour the following year for her party. They were good decorations, skeletons, lamps, light up skulls, banners, pumpkin lanterns.

When they weren't returned, I asked for them back but she said she thought I had given them to her and she'd sold them on eBay! Sad

Cabrinha · 11/05/2016 16:56

Bloody hell Ouriana - she stole the tip?

In my fantasy world I'd be emailing the whole group saying it turns out the tip was stolen - and say "Grabby Thief Fucker, did you notice anyone hanging around the table when you went back in for your bag?"

In non fantasy world I would send the email without reference to the THIEF and hope other people made the same connection.

SingingSamosa · 11/05/2016 17:02

When I was in the middle of my A Levels, my mum decided to move to a town 40 miles away to live with her boyfriend. I had the option of going with her and commuting on the train to 6th form to finish my a levels, or to sleep rough in the town she was moving from. I chose to move away and commute obviously! I'd had a part time job (evenings and weekends) in the town we'd left, that paid quite well, but obviously I had to give this up. I really struggled to find a new job in the new town due to when I was available to work, but my mum told me it was ok, she'd let me pay her back my rent (she'd decided I needed to pay her £35 a week, plus chores and phone bill) once I had found a job. I also had to pay for my own train fares whilst commuting to school to sit my exams. Eventually I admitted defeat and signed on the dole. My very first giro came and my mum took every penny as back pay for my rent :( She was also having me do everyone's laundry, all the washing up and vacuuming whilst I wasn't working, to earn my keep. I was really hacked off by this point and so moved in with a friend back in the old town, whilst I was finishing my exams. During this time my mum decided to continue charging me rent because all my stuff was still in my room so when I eventually moved back I had something like a £300 bill from her to cover 'storage costs'! This was back in the mid 90s, so that was a huge sum and it took me many many months to pay her back until she'd let me retrieve my stuff. If that's not grabby, I don't know what is!

ElectroStallion · 11/05/2016 17:07

Nothing to add, but there are some horrors around, aren't there?

Hulababy · 11/05/2016 17:11

Re the theme park party.

Dd had her birthday celebration at Alton towers and took 7 friends.
We took all 8 girls (me and dh both drove to enable that and we chose the number of guests based on how many we could take.)
we paid for park entry (2 for 1 vouchers from cereal boxes!) we paid for lunch, and took some snacks/drinks to have by the car before leaving. We bought a couple of extra drinks each in the day, donut snack and ice creams.
We didn't do fast pass or buy things from the shop.

It was a birthday 'party' with invites. Therefore we cover the costs.

However, dd has also gone in a day out with friends and it's been organised differently. They've paid for themselves, and have had everything pre-arranged, including costs, beforehand and with agreement if parents, etc.

One was a party invitation (costs met) and one was a more informal get together type affair (paid own way.)

RuggerHug · 11/05/2016 17:16

Singing that was your MOTHER?!Sad

RosieandJim89 · 11/05/2016 17:16

DH has a grabby friend who still lives with his mum and has no financial responsibility at at this time had a higher paying job than DH.
Anyway, he invited DH to the pub, DH accepted and when the arrived friend says "oh you'll have to get these, I didn't bring my wallet" Shock

Nydj · 11/05/2016 17:20

SingingSamosa, you mum?! Shock

SingingSamosa · 11/05/2016 17:25

Yep, my mum! Lovely, isn't she?

whois · 11/05/2016 17:27

RuggerHug that is awful, didn't you ever ask for your money back???

MackerelOfFact · 11/05/2016 17:27

PILS (now XPILS). Got married late in life, had always gone on and on about how much they'd love to go on a hot air balloon ride, how it was a dream of theirs, it would be so incredible, etc etc etc.

So, as a wedding present, then-DP and I splashed out on a luxury hot air balloon ride as their gift. There was a posh meal and champagne and stuff included and it went over their house and everything. It was about £400-odd quid, which was a huge stretch for us on top of all the other weddingy expenses - but we knew they'd love it so we wanted to make it special.

They were very emotional when we gave it to them so we figured we'd got it right. About a month later, after apparently trying to book the trip but there were no spaces for the day they wanted, they asked if they could have the money instead as they wanted to buy.... motorbike leathers. Hmm Romantic.

They were really weird though.

fightingschoolbattles · 11/05/2016 17:29

Similar to above. Met a friend for lunch with the kids. I was fairly skint and told her before hand but was persuaded to go still. I just had a main. She was loaded and order starters, sides, alcohol and main plus meal for child.
She then asked me to split the bill and fell out with me when I refused.

Second occassion a relative asked me to take them to a shopping centre while they were visiting. Went to a food place. She ordered loads for her and kids. Me and dd had the buffet option. When we finished she went to the loo and didn't come back. Found her waiting outside. She had left me to pay. Shock

BerylStreep · 11/05/2016 17:30

Singing are you NC with your Mother now?

whois · 11/05/2016 17:31

SingingSamosa that isn;t grabby, that's just, well, terrible. I wish bad things on your mother, what a fucking fruit loop.

Lordamighty · 11/05/2016 17:35

My goodness Singing Samosa, your own mother?

fightingschoolbattles · 11/05/2016 17:35

Oh and the friend who invited me over for the weekend to help them with their computer. Promised a meal in return for my free services.

Then asked me to bring all the food, beer and a specific expensive wine in order to produce this meal

Needless to say I didn't go.

MunchCrunch01 · 11/05/2016 17:36

We gave away a 5 year old car to a friend when we emigrated back from the foreign country we were in to the UK. Anyway, it turned out our leaving date wasn't optimal for the person we were giving it to, and he asked if he could take it earlier, and go halves with us on a rental for the remainder of the time until we left ;) I wished I'd just given the car to charity!

BoopTheSnoot · 11/05/2016 17:39

Gosh with friends/families like these, who needs enemies?!
No stories of my own to add I'm afraid, but shamelessly place marking.

Beepbopboop · 11/05/2016 17:39

Singing your mother is a cunt Shock

SingingSamosa · 11/05/2016 17:40

I was NC for a few years after DD2 was born but she stopped my paternal grandparents and aunt (she divorced my dad when I was a baby) seeing me until I was 18 and by that time my grandad had died so I never got the chance to know him :( I didn't want my kids resenting me because they'd not got to know their grandmother so we are now back in contact, fairly amicably. When I went NC I wrote her an enormous letter detailing why, it was really very cathartic!