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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is odd behaviour

32 replies

Eva50 · 10/05/2016 17:14

......or is it just me.

New neighbours moved in four houses down the road a few months ago. Nice couple with two pre school girls. We are the end house in a small cul-de-sac of detached houses so I walk past their house several times most days and say hello /stop to chat. We have an enclosed garden with a gate which is kept shut (because we have dogs) but not locked.

Ds, age 9, is playing in the front garden and I am in the living room mumsnetting working. I look up and the children and their Dad are playing with ds in the garden. He has just waved to me through the window and carried on! I am now hiding in the kitchen and not even pretending to work.

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 10/05/2016 17:16

Not sure what you think's odd?

Cutecat78 · 10/05/2016 17:17

In your garden?! Shock

Crispbutty · 10/05/2016 17:17

why is it odd?

TheWitTank · 10/05/2016 17:17

Hmm yes, that's really odd. Go out and say hi, how are you? Can I help you?

MizK · 10/05/2016 17:17

Wtf!

That's weird! I'm sure he means we'll but that's so over familiar!
I'm guessing your DC will be playing in the back garden from now on.....

BertrandRussell · 10/05/2016 17:31

Oh, in your garden! That is a bit odd. Why didn't you go out and see what was going on?

Original poster
Eva50 · 10/05/2016 17:50

I've been out to bring ds in for his dinner. The Dad just smiled, said bye, gathered up his girls and left. Perhaps that's how they do things where he used to live!

OP posts:
smokeybandit · 10/05/2016 18:02

Maybe they were being nice but that would freak me out. If I were them and the dc's wanted to play, as an adult I'd have knocked on your door and said hello...

Tiggeryoubastard · 10/05/2016 18:04

I really can't see what's odd.

BillSykesDog · 10/05/2016 18:05

I'm guessing his DDs saw your DS and wanted to say hello. I don't think it's that odd, it's friendly.

moonandforward · 10/05/2016 18:08

I suspect the girls were shy about approaching DS so asked their dad to join them.
If it's a tiny garden I suppose it would be a bit strange.

Shapebandit · 10/05/2016 18:29

It would be weird in your back garden but not the front, that's usually right on the street and if your son started playing with the kids or they asked him to play he might have said to play on the grass rather than the street if you hadn't given him permission to play on the street?

Booboostwo · 10/05/2016 20:03

Is your front garden enclosed and did the neighbours have to go through your gate to play with your DS? If yes that is odd, I would have expected the dad to knock on your door first thing and check it was all Ok with you. If your front garden is un fenced then it's not so odd as you can imagine DCs drifting over from other gardens/pavement/road.

Original poster
Eva50 · 10/05/2016 21:24

The garden is completely enclosed by a five foot fence and is entered by a gate (also five foot) adjacent to the front door.

Some posters obviously don't think it's strange though. So perhaps it's the done thing in some places. Which was what I was wondering.

OP posts:
QuiteLikely5 · 10/05/2016 21:33

Maybe the girls asked if they could see your ds but dad said only if I come down with you. I don't think it's strange

IMurderedStampyLongnose · 10/05/2016 21:34

It's not strange.Dont be so odd and antisocial.

SawdustInMyHair · 10/05/2016 21:42

It is strange behaviour (I'd at least ring the bell and ask if my DCs could play), but it's not threatening or anything. Probably just a lapse in judgement on the part of the father.

wavingnow · 10/05/2016 21:51

Not strange. (anything to do with the north south divide?)

MizK · 10/05/2016 21:52

How is it antisocial to be weirded out to find people in your garden who haven't even tapped on the door to let you know they're there? I can't imagine ever doing that.

Fishcake72 · 10/05/2016 21:54

Totally weird but I am completely antisocial and need a written invitation to step through anyone's gate.

inlovewithhubby · 10/05/2016 21:56

Of course it's fucking weird - it's got a 5ft fence keeping people out!! I've lived all over - it's universally weird behaviour.

If there is a next time, I'd go out and say 'did you want me?'.

UnderTheGreenwoodTree · 10/05/2016 21:57

I don't think it's so strange if it's a front garden - and I'm quite weird and private. If it was your back garden I'd be Hmm

Front gardens are generally fairly public aren't they?

Youvegottobekidding · 10/05/2016 22:02

I'm like Fishcake, however, this father & his family may have moved from an area, much like my brother in laws, where people treat their houses & gardens like their own....a swift tap on the back door (if you're lucky) and they are already letting themselves in while shouting hello!!

Booboostwo · 10/05/2016 22:08

It is very strange then. I had pictured an unfenced front laws, with ambiguous boundaries and loads of kids running across various properties. Given your garden it's very weird, he should have knocked on the door and asked if the DCs could play and he could have offered to supervise so as not to lump you with all the children but only if he had checked with you first that it was OK to do all that in your garden.

Alisvolatpropiis · 10/05/2016 22:13

That is weird.