To think we need to get a grip about SATs and stop the drama

[PeaceLoveGonk]

DD(11) has to work very hard just to be average academically. None of this SPAG bollocks comes naturally but she just bloody well gets on with it.

She came out of school yesterday, said test was hard, she didn't finish it but did her best. We then went for ice cream and when we got home she went on the iPad.

No one in her class had hysterics, went into meltdown, cried or did anything other than try their best.

I've read a thread on TES forum describing the test as 'brutal' and there is much talk about ruining our children's lives. I think it's just 4 tense days before they start the wind down to summer.

We're not doing our kids any favours with all this anger, breast beating and angst. They're not working in clothing factories in India, trying to make a living from a rubbish dump or facing death on a dinghy trying to cross the sea to escape persecution. It's 4 days of tests!

Peace I have had to talk to my dd about far more stressful situations than bloody sats. She has coped with them. But that doesn't change the fact of a headteacher telling me and her to hit the ground running (I swear those words will be tattooed on his fucking head if I have my way) and to ignore everything else she had going on in her life. If your child managed it when facing similar to my dd then kudos to you.

The ability bit has no bearing on these exams - whatever their ability, if they had resilience they would 'breeze' through with no drama

My DSC have plenty of resilience thank you and have been through a lot in their young lives including dealing with a 'D'M who told them to their face she didn't want them or to ever see them again.

So yeah they are bloody resilient, bright and lovely DC.

They are top of their class and found yesterday tests difficult.

You are coming accross as smug and seem to be dictating whether other people's DC are resilient or not.

Let's hope your DC doesn't get upset by any of these tests. It has nothing to do with 'resilience'

In my experience you can't tell which children will be upset doing SATS. Quite often it is those that you don't expect to be that at some point are.

PhilPhil Yes Yes Yes exactly that.

I've put the work in from an early age and been consistent with her.

perfect parent bost

We hadn't even discussed SATs with Ds. As far as we're concerned, they are tests for the school, not the child.
School have passed their anxiety down to the children, some have handled it fine, some haven't.

Peace, it sounds like you do have an easygoing child. Spare a thought for those of us who have put in the same amount of effort, if not more, from an early age, but still have a suicidal child melting down because of the pressure.
It really does rankle that people assume their children are resilient and easy going simply because of parenting. Very arrogant.

Itsmine I am nearly 40 and I remember tests. DS1 is nearly 17 he was tested. Not like they are tested today though.

It's no wonder the poor children are coming out upset. The parents are making such a fuss about them.
. They dont do them so the teacher can say "Ha Ha Johnny, you got all your answers wrong", but Billy got level 10 on every subject. Its to establish if/where chidren need support.
My DD didn't even know she was doing her SATS.

I've done that too LtEveDallas and like you, it hasn't made the blindest bit of difference. Our children sound very similar. But not the same.

Children are all very different creatures. What works for one, doesn't work for all. It seems it's not only the Government who have difficulty with this concept, judging by this thread.

You cannot build resilience in a day so if you want to do it tonight, it is an impossibility.

Martin Seligmann is the main psychologist behind all Resilience programmes. This book www.amazon.co.uk/Optimistic-Child-Safeguard-Depression-Resilience/dp/0618918094/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1462875965&sr=8-1&keywords=seligman+the+optimistic+child is brilliant but as I say, you cannot do it in a day, and if you are a pessimist yourself, you may need to resolve your own issues first by using this book www.amazon.co.uk/Learned-Optimism-Change-Your-Mind/dp/1400078393/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1462876183&sr=8-1&keywords=seligman+learned+optimism

Pennsylvania University where Seligmann is based has a whole host of tests that you can take, that are very reliable tools to see where you and your children are up to. The irony of me recommending tests on this thread is not lost on me. Maybe wait a few weeks after SATs if you are interested.

www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/home

Why hasn't every single school said "these tests are new, we are guinea pigs. We are not going to worry about your results and neither should you".

Because the schools ARE going to worry about the results. OFSTED look at this data before anything and with 'underperforming' schools being forced to become academies it may have a huge impact on individual schools. Most teacher's pay increments also depend on results.

DS1 is an easy going very academic boy/man. He flew through his sats just a couple of months after his dad died, is predicted all A's in his GCSEs that start next week. That is even with him going through what my DD has gone through. In some ways he has gone through more. But they are different personalities and their schools had different approaches*

Ilive Your DD is in Year6 and she didn't know she was doing her SATs?

"It really does rankle that people assume their children are resilient and easy going simply because of parenting. Very arrogant."

Very well put PhilPhil.

YANBU OP

And by the way no one likes to feel stupid. Stick a kid down in front of an exam that they have no hope of doing well in it doesnt matter how much mummy and daddy say it doesnt matter they will still feel stupid and that will affect skme chikdrens self esteem

This!

DS will be doing his SATS next year. I hope to goodness they've changed by then, because I can't see him managing. He's bright enough, but has ADHD, poor motor skills and emotional difficulties. He calls himself 'stupid' if he does something wrong, or doesn't get something right. If he struggles to do the first paper, I don't know how I'll persuade him to get to school the following day to do more, because he'll be convinced he can't do it, that he's stupid and a failure.
I don't know where he gets this from btw, everyone who knows him has said he's smart, and I have always been very careful to praise and encourage, told him his best is good enough and tried to be positive about things he has struggled with. However, he's been like this since he was very little, so I can't see it changing in a year and I don't know how he's going to cope.

They dont do them so the teacher can say "Ha Ha Johnny, you got all your answers wrong", but Billy got level 10 on every subject. Its to establish if/where chidren need support.

If only it were to establish which children need support.

Liveinalighthouse, when did your dd take SATs?

As I said, I have older DC who have taken them and we barely knew about it.
Ds2 is in a different school, he has ASD. We are very laid back about SATs, all the stress has come from school. We are left to handle some extremely distressing behaviour.

Jeez, it's supposed to be us autistic people who are supposed to lack empathy. Bollocks, massive lack of empathy as usual from those with resilient children who breeze through anything life chucks at them. Huge amounts of I'm alright Jack attitudes.

bicycle I assumed my easy going, very academically able, easy going son was all down to my parenting The universe laughs at smugness in the end I find.

OP, how would you feel then, if your child fails the test and has to re-take in yr 7? Your child leaves Primary branded a failure

I've worked with DD to ensure that she might never make it to the 'top' table but she is in no way feels she's a failure. You've got to work with your DC to raise their self esteem and resilience. Not so they'll turn into self-centred little sods but to ensure that their sense of self isn't determined by government ministers who can't pass the tests they've Implemented.

No drama here, ds understands tests are just a normal part of life (he said it was easy though which makes me worried!)
He was more interested in the fact they got 5 hours of play after the 1 hour test
This morning though there were 2 kids & 1 adult crying in the playground

OP, you may be a wonderful parent, but if your dd attended the kind of school where staff go hysterical over the SATS you might find a kindly parental ice cream, or even years of preparation, didn't make that much difference.

My dd had ongoing chronic medical issues which led to poor attendance/often inability to do herself justice in exams.

I am pretty relaxed about exams and always knew she would be able to find a way of managing a decent life for herself.

However, after several years of primary school teachers/head going on and on about how low attendance levels/less than perfect results at SATS would mean your whole life was shot to bits, by the time dd got to secondary school she was actually suicidal. She knew she couldn't live up to their expectations and they had done everything in their power to make her feel how absolutely essential those expectations were.

On her SATS day, dd was ill in bed and in too much pain to sit up and hold a pen. The school sent round a TA to take dictation. I should have refused her entry of course but the HT had already reported us to SS (who sent him away with a flea in his ear) because of her attendance record and I didn't want the resulting hoo haa to stress her out.

I bloody well put in the work of helping her to build resilience, but at every step it was undermined by her primary school. They did the stressing, I (and her wonderful secondary) was left to pick up the pieces.

"It really does rankle that people assume their children are resilient and easy going simply because of parenting. Very arrogant."

Resilience and easy going are two separate things.

Resilience is a learned behaviour, that is clear in every single piece of research.

Easy-going (ness) as you describe it is probably aligned to neuroticism, which is thought to be a natural trait

However you can still have high neuroticism and high resilience, the two are separate.

It will only happen when parents stop being so hysterical about Ofsted results.