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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think we need to get a grip about SATs and stop the drama

280 replies

PeaceLoveGonk · 10/05/2016 10:14

DD(11) has to work very hard just to be average academically. None of this SPAG bollocks comes naturally but she just bloody well gets on with it.

She came out of school yesterday, said test was hard, she didn't finish it but did her best. We then went for ice cream and when we got home she went on the iPad.

No one in her class had hysterics, went into meltdown, cried or did anything other than try their best.

I've read a thread on TES forum describing the test as 'brutal' and there is much talk about ruining our children's lives. I think it's just 4 tense days before they start the wind down to summer.

We're not doing our kids any favours with all this anger, breast beating and angst. They're not working in clothing factories in India, trying to make a living from a rubbish dump or facing death on a dinghy trying to cross the sea to escape persecution. It's 4 days of tests!

OP posts:
bicyclebell · 10/05/2016 11:11

How do you teach breezing?

sunnyoutside · 10/05/2016 11:11

givepeas message deleted by me to save MNHQ a job.

givepeasachance · 10/05/2016 11:12

Smug? Maybe more despairing of the drama that is made about all of this

And before I'm over and out, perfectionism is not in someone's nature. Conscientiousness is, but that is very different to perfectionism.

srslylikeomg · 10/05/2016 11:12

Some children despite best efforts of patents and teachers will stress and worry about any test. Some characters don't give a hoot and that's just personal differences. But when the tests are so universally panned by the teachers, the kids and the world at large, then that's a big issue. I hate this ridiculous U turning government and we are being steered to disaster but that's not the children's problem and the arc of history is long. I had exams every year in my school - from 7 til 18. It was rubbish and sometimes the exam questions were a fair evaluation and sometimes they were tricksy nasty dogshit. But, it is only exams, I think we should complain and protest and we will be heard about the stupid targets this gov set in education and next decade... They'll be something else.

katemiddletonsnudeheels · 10/05/2016 11:12

I think as with most things, there are some very real and genuine concerns with regards to pressure put on teachers feeding down to students, and retesting in secondary schools.

However, some of that is now emerging as a topic in itself, implying that the very act of testing students will lead to a detriment on their emotional wellbeing.

PhilPhilConnors · 10/05/2016 11:13

Ds's school has built up SATs over almost a year.
Some children take it in their stride, which is brilliant, some don't.

Ds2 is holding it together at school, but losing it at home, feels like a failure with no future, wants to die. He has ASD, but I know of several NT children who are feeling the strain.
We've told him that SATs don't matter and he doesn't need to worry, but that's all very well when they're getting the opposite message in school.

I have two older DC who went through SATs 3 and 4 years ago in a different school, there was no pressure, we barely knew SATs were happening.
This time there's been constant drip feeding of SATs fever since last June! He has been pulled out of break times and other lessons to do extra work. Ds's resilience is all but gone. Last night he couldn't even do a job he would usually do with confidence and enthusiasm.

So YABU. Please don't tell me to get a grip. Have a bit of empathy for those who don't fit the narrow expectations of our esteemed government Hmm.

srslylikeomg · 10/05/2016 11:14

That post made no sense: there will be some other issue next and children often have to face this kind of pressure when central gov monkey with schools. It was ever thus. Hopefully they will get through it but drama doesn't help.

CoolforKittyCats · 10/05/2016 11:14

You cannot possibly compare SATs of yore with the new tests. They are completely different.

^ this

srslylikeomg · 10/05/2016 11:15

Sorry: MY post made no sense, not the posts after.

sunnyoutside · 10/05/2016 11:15

srsly Then some NOT all teachers need to learn not to pass on the drama to the children. It doesn't always come from parents.

FranHastings · 10/05/2016 11:16

My child has displayed perfectionist behaviour since early toddlerhood. There is absolutely no way we have encouraged it, because it is a massive pain in the arse to deal with on a daily basis.

sunnyoutside · 10/05/2016 11:16

Oops sorry srsly just saw what you meant Blush

Flowerpower41 · 10/05/2016 11:17

Well ds is 11 and he isn't stressed about the tests. The school has been having lots and lots of practice in the run up to this week. They are holding a free breakfast club for the four days this week to ensure they are all fresh for the tests.

However this curriculum is awfully hard. I regularly get stuck over the maths. This is the only year ds has been marked as the lowest score in all subjects. Level 3 out of 3 levels. If that makes any sense. It doesn't to me as prior to this year he was on target with everything. He struggles a little with maths but who doesn't.

He is extremely good at spelling and reading and his teacher marked him as level 3 all the same which I disagree with. I would imagine her justification for the score is SATS pitched ....

They offered extra mornings over the Easter school holidays for children struggling but it wasn't remotely work friendly and I couldn't be dropping him off and picking him up in the middle of the day which is what they wanted. So he missed out.

I don't think it matters much but I would definitely like him to pass.

givepeasachance · 10/05/2016 11:18

I can see that some children aren't coping well and asI have said, if it were my child, I would be absolutely using techniques from resilience to get them through and to a point where it doesn't matter.

As per my original point, these tests (which I do find ridiculous ) are revealing some serious resilience issues in our children. I apologise if people find that uncomfortable, but it still doesn't make it untrue.

I will leave the thread though because I'm clearly upsetting people.

srslylikeomg · 10/05/2016 11:18

No prob sunny I am making no proper sense today! :)

Itsmine · 10/05/2016 11:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

exLtEveDallas · 10/05/2016 11:20

And before I'm over and out. Perfectionism isn't in someone's nature. Conscientiousness is, but that is very different to perfectionism

Over and out? That's not very resilient of you. Unless of course you have realised you are talking bollocks and cannot defend your position Grin

Wetbankhols · 10/05/2016 11:20

Some people do feel that anything that a child dislikes is a personal attack on their emotional state. It isn't.

Original poster
PeaceLoveGonk · 10/05/2016 11:20

How lucky for you that you have an easily pliable child

She isn't in the least bit pliable but she has listened to me when I've talked about how to approach stressful situations whether they be in school, the sport at which she competes at a high level, friendships ... I've put the work in from an early age and been consistent with her.

OP posts:
bunnie1975 · 10/05/2016 11:21

Sorry, I don't have a clue about these tests as we don't have them in Scotland, so I don't know what they are actually for? Our children get a test in P7 to see what groups they should be going into in 1st year high school but that's it.

I feel so sorry for the children though after seeing so many FB posts saying how stressed they are etc.

exLtEveDallas · 10/05/2016 11:21

As have I PeaceLoveGeek. Hasn't made any difference though.

sunnyoutside · 10/05/2016 11:22

My dd, is worrying about her sats, NOT because of me or any stress I am putting her under but because of her teacher and her headmaster. She knows what empathy is though ;)

bicyclebell · 10/05/2016 11:23

Look givepeas.

If you truly want to be helpful, what techniques would you use to get them resilient enough to get through these tests and feel they don't matter ( esp for those kids that are perfectionisists and/or have teachers putting loads of pressure onto them).

exLtEveDallas · 10/05/2016 11:24

Parents need to find a way to keep it in perspective, their dc are probably anxious because their parents are

Nope. Not anxious at all. Concerned about the state my child came home in and the fact that she is calling herself a failure no matter what we say to her.

PhilPhilConnors · 10/05/2016 11:24

How do some children have a chance to be resilient though when the majority of their year 6 is spent working towards SATs and seeing for themselves that they are either good enough or not good enough.
The government have piled the pressure onto teachers and head teachers. In some schools it sounds like this has been handled well, which in turn passes down to the pupils.
In other schools the strain has been passed down to pupils, some of which will cope, some of which won't.
Whether your child copes or not will be down to two things, their personality and the way school is handling it. If your child is in a school where they are putting on the pressure coupled with your child being a perfectionist or stresshead, your options are very limited.