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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to hate when people say 'lady' instead of just saying woman

80 replies

paintandbrush · 09/05/2016 19:43

Eg. "a lady came into the shop earlier and asked me..."
"I met a lady in the library who..."

Not the greatest examples, but I keep hearing this in a simpering, mincing, totally non-sarcastic kind of way- generally from social-climbing types who are anxious to sound 'polite'. Please, please do not let us go down the American route of perceiving the word woman as a kind of belittling slur. It shouldn't be.

OP posts:
EatShitDerek · 09/05/2016 19:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 09/05/2016 19:47

YABU

Sparklingbrook · 09/05/2016 19:48

I prefer lady. I was having a few issues with the self service till and the teenage staff member shouted to his superior 'THIS WOMAN IS HAVING A BIT OF TROUBLE' I think lady would have been nicer.

Princesspeach1980 · 09/05/2016 19:50

I think lady sounds more polite. I'd be more likely to use woman if I was ranting about someone.

Baaaaaaaaaaaa · 09/05/2016 19:51

Last time I looked we were still entitled to free speech. If people choose to use lady then that's up to them.

YABVU.

Fratelli · 09/05/2016 19:51

I don't understand what your problem is tbh. Nothing wrong with the word "lady". Do you feel the same about the words "man" and "gentleman"?

paintandbrush · 09/05/2016 19:51

Could be just a regional thing.

OP posts:
GreatFuckability · 09/05/2016 19:52

i say (and get my kids to say) lady and for men, 'gentleman'. its just politer than woman/man.

Gowgirl · 09/05/2016 19:52

I'm a lady, I try to behave in a ladylike manner (sometimes I failGrin ) do you have similar problems with the word gentleman?

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 09/05/2016 19:52

Which region are you then OP?

Alisvolatpropiis · 09/05/2016 19:52

I quite like lady.

I fucking hate female. I know being a woman, that I am female, but it feels a bit nature programme when someone refers to a "female doing xyz".

StubbleTurnips · 09/05/2016 19:53

I'm always telling dawdling DD to watch that lady/gentleman as she bumbles along, shouting 'watch that woman' always sounds rude with my tone.

NicknameUsed · 09/05/2016 19:53

I hate the term woman. I have heard it used insultingly so many times I prefer the term lady, so YABVVVU and overthinking it.

Ladies and gentlemen sounds far more polite than women and gentlemen doesn't it?

SpuriouserAndSpuriouser · 09/05/2016 19:53

To me, woman sounds a bit coarse. It probably shouldn't (man doesn't), but I think it sounds derogatory.

LemonRedwood · 09/05/2016 19:53

Man/men and woman/women for bog-standard reference and conversation.

Lady/ladies and gentleman/gentlemen for polite or more formal situations.

That's what my parents taught me and it's stuck.

Sparklingbrook · 09/05/2016 19:54

My Nan used to use 'female' . It seemed really weird.

RomComPhooey · 09/05/2016 19:54

A friend in HR pointed out that they discourage the use of 'lady' in her organization because it implies a value judgement (the right kind of woman, naice), whereas 'woman' is factual and not loaded in any way.

witsender · 09/05/2016 19:54

I always say lady, or chap for a man.

SpuriouserAndSpuriouser · 09/05/2016 19:55

Cross post! I am from the south east, if that helps with the regional question.

And I agree with Alisvolatpropiis, "female" makes my teeth itch.

amicissimma · 09/05/2016 19:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MabelSideswipe · 09/05/2016 19:57

Hmmm I work with mixed -sex groups in an adult education type of scenario and we are advised not to use the word lady. Its men and women. The clients use it all the time though and I just ignore it so they might say 'When the ladies went over there' and I would say 'Yes when the women went over there'. I am not sure if they notice.

Lady is not as bad as a group of 30 something women and men saying 'girls' though - they never use the word 'boys' of course!

MrsJayy · 09/05/2016 19:57

Give your money to the lady has been said by parents for generations in shops can you help this lady etcetc is it is just polite and it doesnt really bother me

whatdoIget · 09/05/2016 19:58

Lady does sound more polite than woman but there's no reason why it should be really. There was a link on here the other day to an interesting blog post on the subject. I'll see if I can find it.

paintandbrush · 09/05/2016 19:59

Thickandthin NI. Here at least it comes over as a bit try-hard.

To clarify, I would support the use of lady with kids, customer service situations etc. The overuse in private irks me a little, it seems a bit cringey. That's all.

OP posts:
Brainnotbrawn · 09/05/2016 20:01

Fecking hate it too OP. We have Ladies sports around these parts too, of course the me counterparts play the men's version. It is a throwback to days of yore IMHO.