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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to hate when people say 'lady' instead of just saying woman

80 replies

paintandbrush · 09/05/2016 19:43

Eg. "a lady came into the shop earlier and asked me..."
"I met a lady in the library who..."

Not the greatest examples, but I keep hearing this in a simpering, mincing, totally non-sarcastic kind of way- generally from social-climbing types who are anxious to sound 'polite'. Please, please do not let us go down the American route of perceiving the word woman as a kind of belittling slur. It shouldn't be.

OP posts:
RiverTam · 09/05/2016 20:32

I use both. I wouldn't say lady in the context of work, for example, I would say woman. But I would say 'mind that lady!' to DD. But overall I do find lady to be a bit prissy and invoking 'behaving like a lady' which I find a repellent concept.

EatShitDerek · 09/05/2016 20:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RiverTam · 09/05/2016 20:35

bibbity I would say 'hi guys' or, probably far worse but I love it as a phrase, 'hi y'all'. But I get that lots of people would hate that. But I would loathe 'hi ladies'. Yeuch!

HeirOfNothingInParticular · 09/05/2016 20:36

YABU. I would usually say woman, but my colleague always says lady. I imagine it's the way she has been brought up and she thinks it is appropriate. It's better than " than bint" or whatever...

museumum · 09/05/2016 20:36

I struggle to say woman to my ds as I was brought up to believe it impolite.
I would always say "give the money to the lady" in a shop for eg.
I'm Scottish and "wummin" has a sort of "fish wives" tone to it.

FeckOfffCup · 09/05/2016 20:38

Please, please do not let us go down the American route of perceiving the word woman as a kind of belittling slur.

I've never come across this before, what do you mean?
YABU. Lady is the equivalent to gentleman for me. IMO they're both more formal - I would refer to friends as a woman or a man but for example, a customer I would refer to as a lady or a gentleman. I don't see what's offensive about either.

HeirOfNothingInParticular · 09/05/2016 20:38

RiverTam I hate "hi guys" but even more so I hate "ladies". I go into shut down mode then and ignore.

SocialDisaster · 09/05/2016 20:39

I now say woman, I did say lady.

Brainnotbrawn · 09/05/2016 20:42

Text message can start
Hi Everybody
Hi All
Story Buds if you are from certain parts of Dublin

madmomma · 09/05/2016 20:43

YABU it's just nice manners
Don't read anything into it

Marmighty · 09/05/2016 20:43

I am super-aware of this since discussing with a friend and realise I say lady all the time - trying to catch myself and say woman as I think it shouldn't be a 'lesser' word. Also trying to stop saying 'girl' when talking about an adult...

bibbitybobbityyhat · 09/05/2016 20:45

Oh dear, Hi Guys is the worst of the worst I'm afraid.

Brainnotbrawn · 09/05/2016 20:50

I don't agree that it is bad manners to call a group of women, women though. Is it?

Original poster
paintandbrush · 09/05/2016 20:51

I was under the impression it was an American thing due to the fact they seam to use "hey LADY!" As a form of address.

Also I read a story about an American prostitute who got convicted of soliciting, and took issue with the press coverage, not because they reported the verdict, but because they referred to her as "a woman" rather than 'a lady'. Grin

OP posts:
RiverTam · 09/05/2016 20:52

Oh, do you think?! Worse than Hi ladies, which always puts me in mind of 'going out with the girls' (with regard to a bunch of women in their 40s, errr, no thanks)? Fair enough! Feminists use wimmin or wims, which I quite like. In fact, that's what I'm going to use from now on.

'Lady' being polite or nice manners, I dunno, it's all tied up with girls being expected to be ladylike and basically kept in their place and not, God forbid, forward.

Original poster
paintandbrush · 09/05/2016 20:52

I'd say hi guys is becoming quite acceptable, but usually for a mixed group.

OP posts:
Brainnotbrawn · 09/05/2016 20:55

Lady' being polite or nice manners, I dunno, it's all tied up with girls being expected to be ladylike and basically kept in their place and not, God forbid, forward.

^ yep that articulated it far better than I could.

RiverTam · 09/05/2016 21:03

That's a first for me!

Ameliablue · 09/05/2016 21:05

Yabu

watchingthedetectives · 09/05/2016 21:22

YANBU it drives me mad especially when not really needed ie lady doctor makes me want to vomit and think of that godawful Dr Quinn Medicine woman (although actually they called her a woman in the wild west, as you do)
Waiters going hello ladies in a patronising tone in restaurants also does my head in -especially as last time half way through paying the bill he asked us ladies if he could just serve the men first as they had an important meeting to go to.
Only acceptable if in exactly the same context you would use gentleman

Brainnotbrawn · 09/05/2016 21:34

That's a first for me!

Aw River I doubt it. I will keep an eye out for your pearls of wisdom in future. Grin

Original poster
paintandbrush · 09/05/2016 21:37

Gentleman is nearly worse in terms of unnecessary fussiness. Reminds me of Lizard Lick Towing which is set in Texas or somewhere. I can only imagine myself saying "hello gentlemen" if I also happened to be wearing a leotard and bunny ears at the time.

OP posts:
Riversiderunner · 09/05/2016 21:37

Totally agree OP. Lady seems a bit 'naice' to me. Woman all the way here.

P1nkP0ppy · 09/05/2016 21:44

I can't remember when I last used the word woman/women, I always say lady/ladies.
Sounds like political correctness gone potty to me 😳

TheIncredibleBookEatingManchot · 09/05/2016 21:50

YANBU

The word "lady" sounds very sanitised, like we can't use the word "woman" because there's something unclean or unpleasant about womanliness.