To think swimming teachers are obsessed with putting face in water

[2catsnowaiting]

Here's the thing. All my children love going to the pool and enjoy playing in the water. All of them, at a young age hate or hated putting their face in the water.

The older two taught themselves to swim by using flotation jackets, from which I gradually removed the floats, until they were able to swim without the jacket. I tried the same thing with the youngest, but he has now outgrown the jacket and no sign of any bouyancy at all. He can just about swim with a noodle float but even that is a struggle.

I'm wondering whether to put him in for swimming lessons, however, from my limited experience of it, it seems that swimming teachers are obsessed with making kids put their faces in the water, as if this is more important than actual swimming, and you can't learn to swim without doing so. I know this is not the case as my oldest got her 10m badge swimming with her head out of the water. She then did 6 weeks of lessons with school, at the end of which she would put her face in the water, and then they said she could get her 10m badge, which she already had before she started - how is that progress? I realise that if you are planning to become a professional or competitive swimmer, then you need to learn correct technique, but clearly none of mine are, I just want them to enjoy swimming for fun/exercise. My mum is in her 60s and still swims with her head out of the water, it's never done her any harm.

My worry is, (and the reason the older two have never had swimming lessons outside the very few they had with school) that he will start to hate going swimming because the teachers will make him put his face in the water. I would rather he loved going to the pool and couldn't swim than started to hate it.

Has anyone experienced swimming lessons where they do not insist they have to put their faces in to make any progress? I'm unwilling to pay good money for someone to make my child do something he hates.

2catsnowaiting Reflecting on this, and my swimming lessons as a child, I think that children should be taught at their own pace, and that swimming teachers shouldn't force them into doing things that they are uncomfortable with.

You have reminded me of something that happened to me as an adult learner... I had a lovely teacher who I went to for 1:1 lessons, who was very patient and kind. I decided to join group lessons as well, which were taught by a young woman. I was in the beginners group and was struggling. On the 2nd/3rd lesson, she told me that I had to push off from the side into the middle of the pool, and then stop. I was too scared, and asked if I could walk out to the middle, and push off to the side, so I had something to grab on to to stop. She shouted at me in front of all the class and said that she was the teacher and that I had to do what she told me! I think she told me not to bother coming back if I didn't cmply. This resulted in a stand off, and me bursting into in the pool and then leaving the class. I was so upset I cried for the rest of the night. She didn't understand that I couldn't do it, and she might as well have asked me to go and jump off the 10m board!

I recovered from that incident, and have gone on to be a competent swimmer and conquer my fears. So, YANBU to let your children develop their swimming skills at their own speed (but don't develop phobias!).

I don't live near the sea and I've fallen in water quite a few times

I was renowned in the wider family as a kid for my ability to find water and fall in it, even under quite close supervision (or what passed for supervision in the 1970s)

And yes I can swim, and put my face in the water. Even with that skill learned the shock of hitting cold water unexpectedly can make you panic. I'd hate to have that plus an unfamiliar feeling of being submerged.

I do know what you mean. My ds wouldn't put his face in the water before he had lessons. My ds has sensory issues and I was worried about swimming lessons putting him off swimming. I tried him in a few different classes until I found one that I thought was suitable for him. He is now really good at swimming and loves being underwater as long as he has his goggles on.

I didn't have lessons as a child, and didn't pick up the appropriate technique in school lessons. I never managed swimming until I was 16 at adult classes and was taught how to put my face in the water and breathe through front crawl properly. From that, I went from first length to first mile within a year.

I cannot float while holding my head up, it strains the back and angles my legs down and pretty soon I begin sinking. I'll never manage to hold a conversation while swimming or keep my hair and makeup impeccable

If he doesn't already have issues with water, I'd be surprised that being encouraged to get the face wet would trigger it. That seems a strange assumption to make.

Yes people manage to swim with poor technique, but it inhibits what they can do. Send him to lessons and let him learn properly.

WTF. YABSoU that I can't be arsed typing all the reasons why.

Bless you.

Your kids have not "taught themselves to swim"

They've just learned not to drown.

That's not swimming.

You may have issues relating to water, all well and good, but don't let that stand in the way of your kids learning to swim.

Fwiw, I spent over 35 years not putting my face in the water and in this last year I've taken adult swimming lessons and can't tell you how great it is to face my fears and swim. I LOVE being in the water.

Have professionals teach your children. The face in the water is a vital part of proper swimming.

Show them swimming on YouTube, it really helps. I would also recommend encouraging them to blow bubbles in the bath by putting their faces in and blowing.

Does the swimming school do intensive courses? That might get it all over and done with?

Hang on. You live at the seaside and don't consider swimming a life skill? Are you serious?

I put my youngest into swimming lessons precisely because we moved to the coast. She couldn't swim but still loved going into the sea and wanted to body board. Even going out knee depth is dangerous if you can't swim. Have you heard of rip tides?

My dp is a lifeguard. He's rescued countless people from the sea over the years. Most of those rescued couldn't swim and had got into difficulty very close to shore.

I can't believe that you think that keeping head above water is more important than anything else. Being able to swim confidently, being able to be in water and not panic and being aware of the dangers of water are way more important.

I think it can be common for children not to want to put their face under. For both I used goggles and sinking objects they wanted to collect. Worked very well. They can also go under without goggles as well.

I fell in to Lake Windemere at the age of 11. Without my swimming lessons and learning how to cope with my face underwater I would have drowned.

Please reconsider OP. It was frightening enough, but I didn't panic. FWIW I didn't swim correctly to shore, but I came up and swam.

001 don't get me started on bikes, my kids never had stabilisers and learned to ride very young, not because it's a life skill or I made them, but because they enjoyed it. I want them to enjoy swimming (which they do) not hate it and see it as a class where they make them do something that is scary for them. I've seen enough kids crying on the poolside not wanting to go in for their lesson while my kids happily run into the water to put me off. Maybe we just need to find the right teacher.

In answer to the badges thing, our local pools will give kids a distance badge as long as a lifeguard watches them swim the distance without stopping. You don't have to be doing lessons (or perfect technique!)

Okay, everyone, you've convinced me, you need to learn to put your face in the water eventually to swim properly. However to enjoy the water, tread water/swim a length or two it is possible to do so without putting your face in, because my daughters do so. I'm pretty confident that at some stage between the age of 5 and 15 my son will accept getting his face wet, in the meantime I'm not going to force him.

Also I don't really buy that swimming is a life skill, and I live at the seaside. In my life I've never known anyone actually fall into water, how likely is it?

Ah you're right, nobody ever actually drowns do they? You've never known someone who did, and so its never happened before.

Hissy - unless you wish to swim competitively then surely swimming is actually just "not drowning". If you can stay afloat while moving across the pool, I defy you to say that is not swimming. It may not be "swimming correctly with the proper technique" but if you're not sinking then you're swimming.

Also, I have no issue with water whatsoever and have swum in swimathons etc with my head in the water.

dont be daft. Seriously.

What happens if he slips on the side of the pool and falls in?

In my life I've never known anyone actually fall into water, how likely is it?

Sadly it happens more often than you might like to think. I personally know someone who's grandchild died after falling in a river, and this is the news today: www.oxfordmail.co.uk/news/14478479.UPDATE__Desperate_search_for_16_year_old_boy_missing_after_swimming_in_River_Thames/. Very worrying.

I am afraid I agree with Hissy. Whenever people say that they have tought their child to swim on holiday or suchlike, it's clear that they don't really understand what being able to swim means...

I pay for my DD to have swimming lessons. I'm sorry OP but I think you'll be very hard pressed to find a swim school that doesn't actively encourage face in the water. My DD doesn't like putting her face in the water, she has goggles which have helped and a lovely instructor who takes their time with all the kids.
As a pp said at the beginning. It's a life saving skill and I say this as someone who nearly drowned at 10years of age, had to be rescued by the lifeguards and no, I still can't swim and yes. I have an irritational fear to water 20years on.

In my life I've never known anyone actually fall into water, how likely is it?

Actually it is very common. I lived near a Canal when DD was younger. People fell in it all the time. Another friend of mine fell in whilst helping out on a narrow boat she'd been on several times before. Just lost her footing. Oh and once a very drunk bloke, can in hand, got up from the side of the river and fell right in. Quick thinking woman nearby grabbed his shirt and plucked him out. I wont repeat what he said. It wasn't a gratious thankyou.

Also, OP, it was a day out at the seaside when I nearly drowned. Had played in the sea so many times before but an undercurrent dragged me out and I couldn't get back no matter how hard I tried.

I'm on the fence with splinters in my bum
Hate face in water as a child and now. I never even put my face under the shower, I wouldn't dive or jump in water
I can do it and I can swim but I remember hours sobbing in the pool because I couldn't do it and feeling crap and panicky
If I fell in water, I can swim fairly well. Obviously there's always going to be a vague panic of "I fell in water, shit" but there's a difference between choosing not to submerge your face in a pool and falling in
I can't even word this right
Hmmm - I think if they know the technique and they've done it a few times then it's ok? I choose not to stick my head in water, I would also rather not fall in it but if I did, the submerged face would frankly be the least of my worries!

Forgot to say I know I can because at one point I had a v patient teacher and ended up being able to do a handstand in the water. Got out of practice, started hating it again. Love water and I do swim, I'm happy in the sea etc

So Hissy and Notcontent, would you also say that unless you run with correct technique you are not actually running? Unless you have an expert serve and know all the rules of tennis you cannot be playing tennis?

Just looked up a definition of swimming: "activity of propelling oneself through water using the limbs."

So if my daughter moves across the pool, using her limbs to propel herself, afloat in the water, not sinking, not using a flotation device, you say that is not swimming because her face is not in the water? Who's being daft here?

Swimming using correct strokes and technique, okay maybe she hasn't learnt that. But she certainly has learned to swim.

Surely if you live near the sea you realise how not beginning able to swim can restrict the activities Dc can get involved with.

My dc go sailing, canoeing, surfing stuff... all activities need them to be able to swim at least 50m confidently. To make them most of living near the sea dc need to be confident swimming!

I have pulled my DS (10) out of group swimming lessons as after three different teachers he can't get out of the shallow end classes because he won't put his face in the water for more than 1-2 strokes. He has an instinctive fear reaction which he just can't get over, and doesn't like wearing goggles, hence we are stuck. Literally he has had at least six years of weekly lessons. He can paddle across the pool after a fashion but has now become frustrated at being in a class with children half his size. Unfortunately he has some past trauma and anxiety to deal with too so he doesn't cope well with forcing himself to do things he feels uncomfortable with - believe me we have tried every kind of encouragement/bribery/support.

I wonder whether to try individual/private lessons. It's not that I don't think it's important but with everything else going on it felt like throwing good money after bad. It's hard though because it's such a life skill.

We do puddleducks swimming lessons. They do encourage the children to put their face in the water through the activities we do each week but many of them don't and that's fine too. Ds is 3 & much of what they are taught is about preservation of life - blowing bubbles, Holding onto the side, turning in the water, kicking to the side. Ideally ds would put his head in the water & dive down to collect a ring. He used to swim under water as a younger child now but would have a blue fit if I dunked him now. It's about water confidence - a good teacher will manage different skill levels & progress. Also goggles are great and also a total pita when he's fiddling with them!

Swim instructor here!

Swimming head up is a kin to fighting a sinking battle. Try and do a star float (on your front) with your face out of the water.... It's not going to happen! OP until the face goes in you will see no real progression as its a fundamental skill required. The level you describe your oldest DC at 10m sounds extremely inefficient and energy sapping.

As for obsessions and forcing children to put their faces under this simply is not true. They should be encouraged with appropriate and repetitive practices, no one can 'make' them.