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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dd gave away her shopkins

76 replies

Heyjude16 · 09/05/2016 01:52

Just moved schools, dd has made aload of new friends and has settled in wonderfully.

Thing is she took most of her shopkins into school and "swapped them" but has actually gave away about 60!. I would say she had well over a hundred and now only has 30 left. I'm so annoyed! She says she hasn't gave them away as her friends have given her others, but that's not possible. I'm more annoyed for her, but she doesn't seem too bothered 😒.
Aibu to be annoyed? I didn't even realise she had taken all of them in! I thought only a few.

OP posts:
avamiah · 09/05/2016 02:05

Heyjude 16,
Are you being serious.
SHOPKINS?
Why are you annoyed?, because you bought them and now she doesn't like them.?
It's called sharing and making friends.

waitingforsomething · 09/05/2016 02:07

It's not sharing if she gave them away is it?! She's probably just trying to get people to be friends with her in a new school. I wouldn't be annoyed just remind her that she doesn't need to give her stuff away if she gets nothing in return!

19lottie82 · 09/05/2016 02:56

avamiah sorry I don't agree, it sounds like she wanted to make friends and someone had taken advantage of her..

looki · 09/05/2016 03:31

Ah she was trying to secure her new friendships. I imagine regardless of how well you say she has settled and made friends, she is still the 'new' pupil and is still trying to make friends. Please don't be angry with her. You probably should sit her down and have a little chat about not 'buying' friendship/just being herself.

Stanky · 09/05/2016 04:00

Bless her heart. I agree that a gentle chat might be in order.

I remember school "friends" coming over to my house, seeing something in my bedroom and just saying "Can I have this? " Erm....Sorry but no. "Well, I'm not going to be your friend any more." OK, who needs friends like that any way? But, I'm sure that I was a silly little girl and would end up giving them something just to please them. It can be a hard lesson to learn when other kids take advantage of a good nature. I'm still learning now.

KeyserSophie · 09/05/2016 05:32

The thing about Shopkins is that they're not created equal- there are the common garden ones and then the rares and ultra-rares, so 3 for 1 swaps are possible. However, it sounds like maybe these girls are used to trading and your DD isn't and they've somewhat taken advantage. I've banned DS(5) from trading football cards as he doesn't "get" the values and will then regret his trades later/ want to swap back and the other kid is like "no way". Maybe I should let him learn the lesson but I cant stand the drama.

MattDillonsPants · 09/05/2016 06:14

OP what you're worried about which others seem to miss, is the thought of DD feeling she has to "buy" friendships.

What she's doing is quite natural but you need to stop her taking things in and talk to her about how you don't need to give things to people to make them be your mate.

Original poster
Heyjude16 · 09/05/2016 06:50

They girls she has made friends with have been amazing tbh. She's been at the school 5 weeks now, every morning they wait at the gates for her to walk into the playground with. She's came out in herself so much compared to the old school.

I'm just sad for her, I don't want her to feel she has to buy their friendship and tbh I don't think she had too. She's such a lovely friendly girl that she would have made friends without the shopkins.. Plus they cost a lot! Lol

OP posts:
hazelangell · 09/05/2016 06:51

My little boy does this too, he hands toys over the fence to his neighbour and says he can keep them because he loves to make people happy. It is so frustrating when it's expensive stuff and you'd think the parents would have the insight to return the 'gifts'. My little one is only 5yrs so doesn't fully understand when I explain to him and it's confusing because I'm always encouraging him to be nice. How old is your DD? Would she understand if you explained to her why she shouldn't do it? If not then you may have to check bag and pockets before school for a while but try not to be too cross with her and if she wants more then perhaps have her do some chores to 'earn' them, perhaps she will realise the value of them then?

TheSolitaryBoojum · 09/05/2016 07:03

Doesn't the school have a no swapping policy? Most of the schools I've worked in have banned swapping on the premises.
If she's overly generous, you need to be checking her bag before school.

LIZS · 09/05/2016 07:17

How old? I also know schools which have banned such cards in the playground.

LindyHemming · 09/05/2016 07:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dancergirl · 09/05/2016 10:37

Most of the schools I've worked in have banned swapping on the premises

How utterly joyless.

Seeyounearertime · 09/05/2016 10:39

Id say it depends on what she now has, not the quantity.
she might have had 100 lower tier one and now has 30 higher tier ones.

I dont get swapping games personally, back in my day it was football cards,
"I'll give you 3 shearers for one Giggs Silver"

that sort of thing.

whois · 09/05/2016 10:41

it sounds like she wanted to make friends and someone had taken advantage of her

Yeah don't be angry with her, but help her with some other strategies to settle in and make friends.

Doesn't the school have a no swapping policy? Most of the schools I've worked in have banned swapping on the premises.

My school did in the early 1990's to avoid issues like this!

Dancergirl · 09/05/2016 10:46

My school did in the early 1990's to avoid issues like this!

God, can't children have any fun any more? Any slightly difficult situation and the school's reaction is to ban it. Let children sort out their own (minor) battles.

OP, I agree with the above in that some of the 'rare' shopkins are worth more than other so maybe that's what happened.

KimmySchmidtsSmile · 09/05/2016 10:52

YABU in collecting plastic tat!!!WinkGrin
I am kidding OP, this your £, and no different to filly ponies or football stickers etc but that is a LOT to lose.
They cost 2 euros each here. Hope you had multipacks.
Sad for your finances as she could have ebayed them once novelty wore off but she probably did not realise their value.
DD2 gave away a monster high doll at kindergarten - luckily it was a mucky D's freebie mini one, not the full size she had at Xmas but it meant she continues to take low-cost or freebies in on "toy day" as I know then that she won't give away expensive Schleich models etc that I simp!y cannot afford to replace.
It is a learning curve I guess. DD1 did the same with football cards in a bid to be popular. She had no interest in the World cup but just wanted to be the same as the other kids in her class. Bloody annoying though!

MatthewWrightIsThick · 09/05/2016 10:58

Wow, there are some Confused replies.

I'd have a chat with your DD and see how it goes. How old is your DD?

LindyHemming · 09/05/2016 10:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BathshebaDarkstone · 09/05/2016 11:03

DD did this last year with Little Live Pets. I made her get every single one back. She didn't really understand that I'd struggled to buy them.

LyndaNotLinda · 09/05/2016 11:13

Lots of schools ban swapping because it isn't fun for a lot of kids Dancergirl.

Some kids get taken advantage off. My DS has SN and has made some terrible 'swaps'. I don't let him take things in anymore.

TheSolitaryBoojum · 09/05/2016 14:53

'Most of the schools I've worked in have banned swapping on the premises

How utterly joyless.'

Dancer, children don't sort out their own problems any more, their parents do. Then you have sobbing and yelling and accusations of theft and bullying and the whole shitfest.
I don't find that joyful, and neither do the children who have swapped and regretted it or swapped and don't want to swap back. I like children playing together and sharing, then taking their own stuff home, safe in the knowledge that they have the backup of school against being manipulated and encouraged by their peers to do something they don't want to.
Joyless would be banning expensive plastic tat altogether.

TheSolitaryBoojum · 09/05/2016 14:55

In fact, look at the OP. her DD is happy, her friends are happy but the mother isn't.

Original poster
Heyjude16 · 09/05/2016 15:56

I'm over it now 😂 We had a talk this morning and as someone said most of the ones she has left are ones she wanted. She's happy, so I'm happy :) x

OP posts:
rachlouhart · 09/05/2016 16:04

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