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AIBU?

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Original poster

Dd gave away her shopkins

76 replies

Heyjude16 · 09/05/2016 01:52

Just moved schools, dd has made aload of new friends and has settled in wonderfully.

Thing is she took most of her shopkins into school and "swapped them" but has actually gave away about 60!. I would say she had well over a hundred and now only has 30 left. I'm so annoyed! She says she hasn't gave them away as her friends have given her others, but that's not possible. I'm more annoyed for her, but she doesn't seem too bothered 😒.
Aibu to be annoyed? I didn't even realise she had taken all of them in! I thought only a few.

OP posts:
wiltingfast · 09/05/2016 21:53

Well yeah it is annoying but in the end they are hers, be honest, you probably actually hate them and really kids have to go through these things. Sad but true. Hope these girls really are her friends Sad

I'd def talk to her a bit about how to say no. We had to do that with ds and match attax cards no idea if that has sunk in yet

I would have thought to ban it. life doesn't really work like that. They have to learn how to deal with these situations.

wiltingfast · 09/05/2016 21:54

Sorry that should be would NOT have thought to ban it...

edwinbear · 09/05/2016 22:03

We too had the same issue with Match Attax. I had to give ds a quick lesson on negotiation skills when he couldn't work out how he had lost all his shiny ones in return for a bunch of tat. It's all life experience!

LyndaNotLinda · 09/05/2016 22:51

Why have diabolos been banned?

EveOnline2016 · 09/05/2016 23:06

Teachers and support staff have enough to do without dealing with squabbling over swappable items.

It's all well saying 10-20years ago it was normal but the government expects teachers to do far more than 10-20 years ago.

School should also be inclusive to every child, not all parents have the spare money to get football cards or shopkins and its those children who feel push out and unable to socialise and play with friends in school. I remember that feeling well when all my friends had pogs or tamagotchi and because my parents couldn't afford it I felt like an outcast.

TheSolitaryBoojum · 09/05/2016 23:30

'Why have diabolos been banned?'

Because they get flung high in the air and then hit children on the head. Then their parents complain.

mummylove2monsters · 10/05/2016 10:57

Oh this happened to my son years ago with gogos ( similar thing - small plastic things / shiny / rare / etc ) he wasn't popular so tried to gain popularity by "swapping " but ended up with all the common ones 😟 I was gutted because then they all played without him ! I totally get your frustration!!!!

Moistly · 10/05/2016 11:07

Oh nooo!! Oh Op I understand your annoyance. Shopkins arent cheap! Besides the fact that they each have different "values" as a pp explained.
Obviously these reasons aren't on your dd's radar - she just wanted to be kind and make friends. A chat is definately in order.

I would be devastated if my dd gave so many of hers away! I think they're a cute toy and feel a little attached to them myself Blush Blush

PurpleCrazyHorse · 10/05/2016 11:09

It's so hard, DD is a bit similar, however she has her own pocket money, which has helped as I've not bought them. I now see it more as a life skill and try to give her some insight into swaps.

She knows what she is allowed to take into school and she knows to ask me first, but I aways check her book bag.

WeeHelena · 10/05/2016 11:33

My dd age 5 did this and gave away a teddy to a random neighbours older child.
I knew she would ask about it in a day or weeks later and get upset but I let her so I could then use it as a reminder/tool that she shouldn't give away things as you can't ever get them back once they are gone.

She's easily led and Immature for her age Imo but has a very good memory so served as a good lesson for her.

I do get irked when much older dc are essentially taking from a young dc who may not know better.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 10/05/2016 11:38

A friend's DS, in the same years as my DS, did this with Pokemon cards. There was a bit of a craze with everyone having them, and "swapping" of cards going on - except that there was a total failure of understanding what "swapping" meant.

I'd explained it to Ds1, but I don't think it had completely filtered out to other children - and friend's DS certainly hadn't "got it" as he was getting his mother to buy him Pokemon cards and then just giving them away to everyone else. She realised when he went from having about 60 to none in a few days, and also had to explain about "swaps".

HPsauciness · 10/05/2016 11:39

My dd used to give away money! We really had to check her pockets too before she went into school. One year when she was 7/8 she put 2p into every Christmas card she wrote! I didn't stop her in the end as 2p wasn't enough to buy friendship, she just liked giving people money. She has friends and so I'm not sure what drove this desire to give things away.

FarrowandBallAche · 10/05/2016 11:40

Will have to goggle shopkins.

TormundGiantsbabe · 10/05/2016 11:45

My 5 year old keeps coming home with some kind of football cards which his friends have given him. I then spend the next morning tracking down the parent to check they're ok with it. Ds hasn't got a clue what these cards are for or about... I found one of them ripped to little pieces - confirming why I refuse to buy anything like this myself. (Does anyone else have a child who enjoys mindless destruction or is just mine?)

Confusednotcom · 10/05/2016 11:47

My DD had tons of shopkins and ended up giving them all to charity, she just got bored of them.

She made a bad swap with a friend a few years ago: swapped some crystals (amythest etc) for some glass beads, the sort you buy by the hundred in IKEA, on a 1:1. About three years later they swapped back! At the time it was a lesson learned, she regretted the swap pretty quickly especially when the girl wouldn't swap back at first. It is a valuable life lesson.
It's also lovely to share if you have a lot of something and someone else, not so much. My older DD has used her pocket money to buy biscuits (!) for a local homeless guy.

SoGodhelpme · 10/05/2016 12:58

Im going to have to google shopkins, have never heard of these things, and if OP's DD has 100 and given away 60 Shock cant even begin to imagine what they are...seeds???

KimmySchmidtsSmile · 10/05/2016 13:02

They are plastic shop items with faces on that come in little bags. Based on an annoying cartoon whose theme goes Shop-kins shop-kins. In other words: hugely expensive Plastic Tat. Wink But some of the bulk made in hong Kong eBay sets will probably sustain my kid on her next birthday....

hks · 10/05/2016 13:41

i can't believe the attitude of some parents on here as if its no big deal i'd be annoyed as well
these toys are expensive and some kids will take advantage if they get away with it

my daughter was going to take in her Shopkins doubles to Swap with other kids in her class but there idea of swapping was i'll take it now and bring theirs in tommorow daughter did the right thing and told them no she wait until they brought them in to see what ones she wanted off them

.. my idea of swapping is they bring theirs in and you bring yours simply swap over and get one in return same day

in our days at school it was Scraps we swapped half the time we'd go home with pages empty as someone had swiped them ..lol

Michellelovesizzy · 10/05/2016 13:51

This is so difficult no one wants to c there child be taken advantage off, but you can't protect them from every thing so maybe just let her learn some lessons the hard way.

Originalfoogirl · 10/05/2016 13:55

Our daughter wouldn't dream of giving anything she owns away, without permission. She would be in a whole world of trouble if she did. Is this something that happens a lot? I'm beginning to wonder if there is some craze I don't know about (and missed in my childhood too!)

She had a bunch of toys she didn't want any more so she did a wee raffle at school and gave them away.

Minisoksmakehardwork · 10/05/2016 14:11

Op. I feel for you. I had to ban ds1 from taking his match attax football folder in as he's only just got into them and his classmates would swoop in and try to take all his cards and swap them for years old ones.

Thankfully after several tantrums and meltdowns he got the idea of only swapping them if they had the same colour back. Now I let him take a snack bag with his duplicates in and a list of ones he still needs. His folder stays safely at home and he's only allowed to take it outside to show if an adult is there - one of the boys down our road is quite forceful about getting the others to do things they don't want to. Another parent has already had to retrieve many of their dc's cards from him.

I think it's fine for the children to be able to swap things as long as they realise they won't have that anymore and that a swap means that the other person has to give something of similar value in return. I know with the football cards the older boys would swap 2-3 regular ones for 1 of the special ones but ds1 just doesn't understand that finer point of swaps yet. I'm hoping by next year he will.

muscatbabe · 10/05/2016 16:38

At DD's school they control this by having a teacher supervised collector's club during their happy hour on a Friday afternoon.

I think there are so many more of these things than when I was a kid: shopkins, moshis, star monsters, a new match attax every season companies trying to get parents to part with hard earned cash for moulded plastic with faces I want to put them all in a pan and melt them. Rant over.

mammamic · 10/05/2016 17:04

YANBU

Some comments here are so negative and lots of passive judging going on. MN at its finest Hmm

In 6-12 months she won't care what she does or doesn't have. She seems happy and more confident and if that is what giving away the latest must have toy gets you - I say well done that girl. Maybe she's more savvy than ppl are giving her credit for.

Now that she has a good friends base, it may be worth explaining that she should discuss with you before giving things away as they cost money etc.

It was Moshi Monsters when my DD was at primary and its all gathering dust in her room - even have the houses etc. And loads of unused cards for online account

it's frustrating that she's given stuff away but also lovely that she's sharing and understands social minefeilds well enough to have good friends so soon after being the new girl Smile

Draylon · 10/05/2016 18:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.