To find smug pregnant women annoying (light hearted)

[ilovemakeup86]

Sorry to offend anyone just need to have a vent I'm currently 16 weeks pregnant with my 2nd child, but I can't help but get annoyed with smug pregnant women I don't feel smug at all, most days I want to give the world the finger lol.

Does anyone else find the 'we're pregnant' (puke) & naming the unborn baby with names like peanut & piglet so bloody annoying & when pregnant women walk around holding their bump just really irritating? Maybe it's just me hormones raging oh & signing cards from bump I could go on and on ...

Is 'smug' too open to interpretation? The types that annoy me are those who go in for performance pregnancy. Holding bumps, etc, doesn't bother me, for most women it's clearly unconscious/protective/happy.

But there are women (a minority) who behave in certain ways while pregnant because they seem to feel pregnancy has made them somehow special to everyone around them. And just as some people are irritated by what they see as performance parenting, I'm mildly irritated by performance pregnancy.

I agree, there are constant accusations of smugness on MN directed at anybody who dares to be unashamedly publicly happy

Yes, this! ^

I loved being pregnant. If people asked me how I was doing I'd tell them how happy I was - what would be the point in lying? I often held my bump - to be honest it wasn't even a conscious thing, I just loved being able to run my hands over my bump and picture my baby. It never occurred to be that others might object to me touching my own body! And yes, we had a nickname for our baby, it felt nicer to us than saying "the baby" every time. Again, why would this bother anyone?

I didn't have a 100% easy time, but overall my attitude was one of happiness and excitement. I get that not everyone feels this way during pregnancy, often for good reason, and I feel very grateful to have been able to enjoy my pregnancy. However, I can't really understand why someone enjoying their pregnancy would be viewed as smug or cause annoyance to anyone, even if that person was having a difficult time themselves.

I didn't think it was really the done thing to announce the baby's name before it is even born.

I don't know anyone who has done so in real life, regardless of whether they did or did not find out the sex.

Alisvola I have a friend who announced the baby's name at about six months pregnant. We then had three months of Facebook posts about unborn Archie. I couldn't get my head around it.

While me and my partner were going through infertility tests I had a 'friend' who felt the need to talk to me all the time about how terrible her pregnancy was... but she was kinda smug about it too. And yes she knew what we were going through. She'd lift up her top every time I saw her and say "phew you wouldn't WANT to be pregnant". But then post about how excited she was several times a week on Facebook. It was a kind of reverse smugness - trying to show off by making herself into a holy baby-carrying martyr. While I would have run across hot coals to be as uncomfortable as she was.

Happy ending though. Don't see her any more and I'm now 29 weeks pregnant.

Alis, it's not like it's a rule or something. We had decided on our baby's name and if anyone asked, we said, and we referred to the baby by their name too, though more in conversations with ourselves and with close family and friends. For us, that baby already existed by that point - it wasn't as if, if the worst had happened, we wouldn't refer to our daughter without a name, or use the name for another child. She was our baby regardless what happened, and we preferred to name her.

Ladyboluna, she sounds unhinged.

I didn't think it was really the done thing to announce the baby's name before it is even born.

I don't know anyone who has done so in real life, regardless of whether they did or did not find out the sex.

Why is it not "the done thing"? My friends all did it and so did I. I didn't make a decision to it just never crossed my mind not to. Why would I refer to my child by something that isn't his name?

I wouldn't firmly decide on DD's name until she was born alive. It's like counting my chickens before they hatched or tempting fate after losing our previous DD in pregnancy.

Crumbly surely even if you lost the baby, the baby would still have a name? I'm not very superstitious so I just don't see it. I'm sorry about losing your first DD

Smug people are just smug, whatever they're doing. They have their own PR machine going, making everything about their lives just wonderful.

The smug pregnant women will become smug mothers at mother & baby groups, smug at nursery, smug at primary school and so on and so on. You know their dcs will be sleeping through at one day old, breastfeed with ease, be able to stack 20 bricks at two months old and as for the reading scheme - aaaggghh!

The pregnancy is only the horrible start of the parental bragfest.

I don't know anyone in real life who announced the name before the birth either. I think maybe it's considered a bit of an old fashioned thing these days where you don't find out anything about the baby before the birth. I found it wonderful discovering everything when you meet them in person and then giving them their name.
These days it's not uncommon for parents to know the gender, announce the name, see its face on a 4D scan, share it all with the world and set up its own FB page before it's even born. Fine if that's what they want to do but it's not for me.

I think I kind of get the OP, but she probably just phrased things badly.
Although I've not been pregnant, what I find worse are people who claim that women who had a C-section are 'inferior' in a way; they make out like birth is some kind of competition and you're a "better mum" if you have a natural, no pain relief hypno home birth.
My mum certainly didn't find out in advance what gender I was nor with my brother, she wanted the surprise. I think it is much more of a thing these days especially with social media and Pinterest etc. I can definitely see myself finding out the sex of a future baby, partly out of curiosity.
I can get naming a foetus too. The post birth period can be manic enough and I guess it might be easier if you've got a name in advance. Totally dependent on the person though.

aprille I always ask for a seat on the bus. I'm entitled to one. No point standing up being a martyr!

Well it doesn't seem to be where I live, Future, because like I said, I don't know a single person who referred to their baby by a name before birth.

LoucheLady I was offered a seat fairly often, which was nice, but I never expected one. I didn't feel entitled to one as my pregnancy was a ridiculously easy one. I wasn't being a martyr, honestly.

The way I see it is that there would be likely be many more on that bus that had a hidden disability or chronic pain issue and needed the seat over me.

Alis did most people know the sex? I can understand it if you don't know the sex.

Fair enough if you had an easy pregnancy aprille but I sill think there are good reasons to ask for a seat, mainly that you're more at risk if there's a sudden brake and you fall over. I also see it as an awareness-raising exercise for my fellow pregnant women who don't dare ask .

I'm not sure I agree it's likely that your average bus would have many more people with chronic pain or hidden disability, and if they do, well there's nothing stopping them asking for a seat too if they need one.

About an even split I think, Future. I knew but my husband and I argued incessantly disagreed over name choices, only agreed the day before she was born.

Fair point Louche

Funnily enough I'm RH Neg so trips could (and did) land me in for observation and an anti D injection.

I have never met a smug pregnant lady and having had six children myself ( waits for accusations of smuggery) I have been around quite a few pregnant women.

With my later pregnancies we have definitely known the sex because my age meant that the pregnancies were high risk so we paid for genetic screening so that we could be prepared. Those babies were named in the womb and referred to as such- even on the dreaded Facebook