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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To find smug pregnant women annoying (light hearted)

149 replies

ilovemakeup86 · 08/05/2016 21:44

Sorry to offend anyone just need to have a vent I'm currently 16 weeks pregnant with my 2nd child, but I can't help but get annoyed with smug pregnant women I don't feel smug at all, most days I want to give the world the finger lol.

Does anyone else find the 'we're pregnant' (puke) & naming the unborn baby with names like peanut & piglet so bloody annoying & when pregnant women walk around holding their bump just really irritating? Maybe it's just me hormones raging oh & signing cards from bump I could go on and on ...

OP posts:

53rdAndBird · 09/05/2016 09:22

I called mine "the baby". Did get an face once from a midwife for saying "it" - she seemed to use "he" for all babies whose sex wasn't yet known. Bit odd.

oliviaclottedcream · 09/05/2016 09:22

Bye then First!!!! Freedom of expression is a bit troublesome for some it seems? 'Pregnant Women are Smug' is hilarious. Love the blond with the maracas...

JassyRadlett · 09/05/2016 09:24

There's a lot of people on this thread that just sound bitter about their own pregnancy experiences and jealous of women who get less sickness etc. or who are happy whilst pregnant

Yes dear, I acknowledged that.

I have zero issues with people who are excited and happy. My issues are with the smug, who demand everyone else be just as excited and happy and behave as if they've reached some new special plane of existence that no one else has ever reached. Oh, and who sweetly suggest that anyone having a less than perfect pregnancy is doing pregnancy wrong, because theirs was amazing and they just felt so connected to their earth and they just feel so sad for women who didn't get that amazing experience.

Pinkheart5915 · 09/05/2016 09:25

What's wrong with woman being happy and enjoying being pregnant?

I must be what lots of you on this thread call " smug pregnant" I had/have a nickname for my baby, I often find myself holding my bump sometimes I don't even realise I was doing it, I signed my dh birthday card from bump.
I was like that when pregnant with ds last year and am like it again now I'm pregnant with a dd.

Philoslothy · 09/05/2016 09:25

I know the title says "light hearted" but I really found the OP horrible and judgemental. I don't think just writing "lighthearted" always makes it so. It's sad that being excited and happy is now called "smug".

I agree, there are constant accusations of smugness on MN directed at anybody who dares to be unashamedly publicly happy

Queenie73 · 09/05/2016 09:29

she seemed to use "he" for all babies whose sex wasn't yet known. Bit odd.
Apparently this is to differentiate between the mother and the baby, so it's clear who is being talked about.

crumblybiscuits · 09/05/2016 09:29

2/3 of my pregnancies were awful, spent in and out of hospital and having tests done on my babies. I still don't find it necessary to tear down women that had it easier than me or take joy in pregnancy though.

Thurlow · 09/05/2016 09:32

I'll happily admit I'm bitter about women who have nice pregnancies. I'm 15w with DC2 and I fucking hate being pregnant The sickness, the exhaustion, the aching joints, the itchy hot legs, the shit skin, the inability to eat anything healthy... Can you tell how much I like it?!

I do hold my bump a lot, especially on the Tube and train to try and stop being bumped by accident.

I also called DC1 by her name and will do the same when when we find out and decide on DC2s. But then I can't imagine not naming a baby until after it's born.

GreenTomatoJam · 09/05/2016 09:34

I, too, was a bump holder - I kept forgetting it was there and hitting it on things..

The day I turned sideways to squeeze through a gap between tables and swept someone's dinner onto the floor with it was the day I realised I was finally deeper than I was wide.

splendide · 09/05/2016 09:40

Oh, and who sweetly suggest that anyone having a less than perfect pregnancy is doing pregnancy wrong, because theirs was amazing and they just felt so connected to their earth and they just feel so sad for women who didn't get that amazing experience.

I have never heard of or seen anything even close to this sentiment. You need new friends!

JassyRadlett · 09/05/2016 09:42

I have never heard of or seen anything even close to this sentiment. You need new friends

Those types weren't friends to start with - I have better taste!

Pixienott0005 · 09/05/2016 09:52

Yup this has touched a nerve Because the idea that women who are pregnant are smug because they touch their belly in public or that they buy cards that say from the bump, is honestly ridiculous. I hardly think all pregnant women waltz around like they are from a scene of Father of the Bride, but when you have another person growing from inside of you it's hard not to feel a sense of proudness and happiness. Feeling smug? Smug about what exactly? That there 'might' be a woman in the room who can't get pregnant and you are. Only arse holes would do that and most pregnant women are not arseholes they're just enjoying THEIR moment which is what they are entitled to do through what should be an amazing life experience. That's not smug.

SoupDragon · 09/05/2016 09:57

Dragon It's just a name what's the big deal with not telling everyone? Seems over the top.

That's your opinion - not everyone feels the same way. Which was my point and exactly what I said - if you're happy with doing that then all's well and good. However not everyone wants the world and his wife to know that stuff before the baby is born.

SoupDragon · 09/05/2016 10:01

I remember a friend having a baby by planned c-section and the only thing we didn't know about the baby before it was born was their birthweight. Absolutely fine because that's what they were happy with but not at all what I wanted for my pregnancy. Horses for courses :)

JeanGenie23 · 09/05/2016 10:05

I don't understand why OP and others are getting so upset about other people's pregnancy choices, it really isn't a problem worth worrying about!

TheSconeOfStone · 09/05/2016 10:09

Not a problem as such but irritating. Harder to ignore when you're pregnant and hormonal yourself and patience is lacking.

That's the joy of AIBU isn't it. You can vent about things that annoy you that in real life you would just politely ignore.

tappitytaptap · 09/05/2016 10:15

I wasn't smug, however now I have an actual 6 week old baby I don't think there is any reason to be smug. He is amazing but bloody hard work, especially what I am hoping is the 6 week growth spurt of wanting my boob in his mouth A LOT. I am guessing it is first time pregnant women, surely no one is smug the second time?!

FutureGadgetsLab · 09/05/2016 10:18

That's your opinion - not everyone feels the same way. Which was my point and exactly what I said - if you're happy with doing that then all's well and good. However not everyone wants the world and his wife to know that stuff before the baby is born.

Out of interest, why? Everyone will know the child's name, it's not a secret. Unless it's to stop people saying they don't like it like someone mentioned.

If you don't want to tell people don't, but I do cringe when I hear people call their child bean/bump.

Aprille · 09/05/2016 10:21

I had an amazing pregnancy. I had no symptoms, no pain, nausea, stretch marks or piles. It was also a fertility treatment pregnancy after 2 long years of disappointment, and I lost one of the twins I was carrying at 8 weeks.

It was a long hard road for us to get there, all the while we were getting nagged about providing nieces and nephews and grandchildren.

I never acted precious or demanded seats. I rubbed my bump a lot but that was

Aprille · 09/05/2016 10:24

sorry, was because the baby never stopped wiggling.

Damn fucking right I treasured every moment of it.

But I've had three more miscarriages and on my tenth round of fertility treatment right now so if I get pregnant again, and manage to remain pregnant to term, I will be glowing and happy and I suppose you'd think I'm smug. I really couldnt care.

I'm not one to put stuff all over facebook, but I would never judge any who did. Who knows what shit they went through to get to that point?

VioletVaccine · 09/05/2016 10:32

I'll probably get flamed for this, but the pregnant women (i know a couple of these) who use: "Baby wants..."

As in "Baby wants a KFC" at midnight

"Baby wants another Twix"

Just say you want to eat chocolate and fast food, 'baby' has no concept of what a Twix bar is, and shouldn't be used as justification to eat crap. Just say you want to eat it!

SoupDragon · 09/05/2016 10:36

I do cringe when I hear people call their child bean/bump.

Well, I was careful not to be rude about people who tell everyone everything there is to know about their baby before they ere born. Perhaps I shouldn't have bothered.

Out of interest, why? Everyone will know the child's name, it's not a secret

Well, it wasn't a secret for you because you told everyone. It was for me until my babies were born. My choice. Why? Because I didn't want to tell everyone. It was a simple as that.

honkinghaddock · 09/05/2016 10:46

I held my bump a lot for both my pregnancies. The first time we had been trying for 5 years and had had 2 ivfs to get there and I was happy rather than smug. That pregnancy ended in stillbirth so the second time I was scared of that happening again and holding my bump reassured me that the baby was still there. I had nicknames for both of them and for my 1st it became his name.

NeedACleverNN · 09/05/2016 10:55

I think what soup is trying to say with the name thing is

Apart from wanting it to be just private for her, by announcing the name before the baby is born, you get everyone commenting.

"Oh I don't like Rosie. Sounds too old fashioned." "My dog was called Rosie" "yeah I like Rosie. Might call mine that if it's a girl"

JassyRadlett · 09/05/2016 10:58

Only arse holes would do that and most pregnant women are not arseholes they're just enjoying THEIR moment which is what they are entitled to do through what should be an amazing life experience. That's not smug.

That's the point, though isn't it? It's not that all, or even most, pregnant women behave in a smug self-satisfied way. It's that a minority do, and some of us find those women - as you say, the arseholes! - quite annoying. Why take it as an attack on all pregnant women?

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