American family moving to London with 3 little kids...

[Arty3542]

Hello all!

I have no idea where to post this... My husband and I might relocate to London at the beginning of next year. He has a job opportunity in Covent Garden. Our kids are 6, 4 and 2 years old. We will be moving from the NYC area. We are very excited but I'm very nervous at the same time. I'm so worried about being isolated and lonely.

Which area is best for American Expats? Do we try for a church/Christian school? Do we attempt to apply to the American School? I heard this is very hard to get into. Will we be in for a culture shock? Do you think it will be easy to make friends with people? Only asking because a couple people told me it's very hard to make friends, the British keep to their own. I didn't know what to say to that and thought it was a bit silly.

AIBU? ;)

Thank you in advance!

Hi OP. I am originally from the US but have lived here for over 20 years. I think many of the areas suggested to you here would be no brainers if it were just you and DH coming over on your own. The school situation in the main London boroughs is no joke.

I think you will very much have to decide what your priorities are - Is it the area and then hope that eventually schools work out if they don't immediately, with you prepared to have two children in different schools if necessary and move them during your time here (since you've missed the allocation deadline)? Or is it the schools and you are willing to compromise on the area? Your budget is very healthy if it's for the flat alone but not if you are having to consider sending one or more children private if you can't get a school place immediately.

I would decide on a few areas and then call the local councils to see which schools have spaces for children your age. The good news is that every state school gets assessed by Ofsted and you can find the reviews of the schools here:
www.gov.uk/government/organisations/ofsted. Just look under "Find an inspection report."

My experience of private schools at least in our area (not Central London) is that many of them require you to put your child's name down virtually from birth and may, even for children your DCs age, have some sort of assessment procedure. There is a good chance the ones in the areas mentioned here are also oversubscribed, but maybe I am overstating this as because of the high number of expats people do go in and out. It may be a question of waiting a term though. You can get a log in for the Good Schools Guide online and that will give you a feel for what schools are where and what they're like.

I have known two people with children in ACS Cobham in Surrey - they were really happy with it, but their companies were funding it. My colleague who looked at both ACS and St John's Wood said that SJW is much harder to get into.

For what it's worth, I like the Barnes suggestion best. I have friends there who are very happy with the local schools, lovely community, mix of expat groups.

I really think becuase you have children your DH's company needs to be helping out with a relocation consultant. If it were just the two of you, or you didn't have to think about schools for a while, you could basically just get off the plane and wander across to any of the places mentioned here and have a lovely stay.

For what it's worth I wouldn't bring my children up anywhere else but here... best decision I've ever made.

You may find these books useful.

www.amazon.co.uk/Good-Schools-Guide-London-North/dp/1909963054/ref=oosr

www.amazon.co.uk/Good-Schools-Guide-London-South/dp/1909963062/ref=pd_bxgy_14_img_2?ie=UTF8&refRID=K359BFX23R37J3GVAEV5

Covent Garden is easy to get to from anywhere, so that gives you good range. We live in N London quite centrally. I don't know much about Barnes, but Hampstead is really nice. Quite posh.

Both of us work, so we put quite a bit of weight on commute times. Hampstead or Camden (a little bit too young and hip perhaps. Annoyingly busy on weekends, perhaps not great for families) are a simple hop to Covent Garden. I don't live in Hampstead, but if your budget allows, it is very nice.

We also put some weight on crime, to find out basically crime (at least violent crime) appears to be non-existent, unless you happen to live in a really bad area.

I would say it is harder to meet people here than in the US. Using your children to meet people is a good idea. Toddler groups etc. It also seems (to my great surprise) much harder to break social barriers than in the US. We now have many friends, very few are not from our "class" (this is not our doing, as we are fairly open). This is not Europe where I imagine people mix more.

It's a great city. Great for kids as they will have endless opportunities to do things. And yes, Europe is on your doorstep, which is one of the highlights of living here. I didn't read the post of your budget, but it sounds like you will have money to travel.

I find it amazing that areas outside of London are still walkable while being so close to the city. Here, it's entirely different as you know. In the suburbs, the space is bigger, the commute is longer, and nothing is really in walking distance.

Ha! you will find it amazing what is classed as "suburban" here. You can go pretty far out and there will still be lots of walkable areas. It really has the feel of a bunch of villages that grew into a big city, so you will have all these hubs everywhere.

Have you posted this before? Or I must have seen a very similar post, even the 'British keep to their own and are hard to make friends with' rings a bell.

Good luck with the move, btw.

OP Would really recommend Richmond. Quite a few americans there and it has the American Uni. Your bdget would definitely allow that.
It has excellent schools, is very green, has lively but beautiful high street with every shop you'd want (Whole Foods!) , on the river, is yummy mummy central- all pubs are child friendly, and you could commute into Waterloo in under 20 minutes, then take a quick 5 minute bus across the river to Cov Garden, or walk across bridge in 15 mins on a sunny day. All the best! x

Arty! I am an American ex-pat, who has now lived here for over 30 years ( not going back!)
The hardest thing to get your head around will be education/schools. It took me years to figure it out, so get studying now.
£10k sounds like a lot, but London extracts the money out of you like nobody's business, and if you ended up with 3 in private education that would go pretty quick.
Research your neighbourhoods. There are lots of interesting/trendy/hip ones. Less expensive than Chelsea or St John's Wood, and there are very few dangerous neighbourhoods, really, especially in comparison to US. The poorer neighbourhoods are scruffier, and you probably want to live somewhere pleasant.
I always lived south of the River, which those to the north often viewed with horror. But those "villages" (Clapham/Wansworth/Balham/Tooting) have loads of Green Space. North of the river, go for near Victoria Park, Regent Canal. Amazing the amount of green space in London. I actually kept a horse in Wimbledon for awhile & the riding on Wimbledon Common & Richmond Park was fabulous!
You will really not n eed a car, even if you go very suburban. Lots of trains & also the zip car option.
Good luck!

How long a commute would your DH consider?
Lots of people get the train from Cobham, Esher, or Walton-on-Thames in Surrey, to London Waterloo (about 25-30 minutes on the train, every half hour or more), then it's 10-20 minutes walk to Covent Garden. Then you could send your children to the American school in Cobham, or a Surrey school. Or anywhere on the Northern Line or western side of the the Piccadilly Line.

You will be in for a culture shock - more than most Europeans - even though you (sort of!) speak the language already. For starters, England is one of the most irreligious countries in the world and most Christians, even if they are one of the 2% who go to church more than twice a year, don't talk about it. UK centrist politics is scarily socialist by US standards. The traffic is hugely congested to a level alien to Americans except perhaps those from the Bay Area. I recommend the book "Watching the English" by Kate Fox - it's a decade old so a bit dated but really helpful.

London (and Surrey) are full of expats and people who have moved for work, so once people have kids and stay in one spot for a while, they are pretty friendly, just in a more reserved way.

Absolutely to villages south of the river. We have loads of lovely green space on this side, Richmond Park & Battersea Park are gorgeous for a start.

I don't know, but will it be a bit less of a culture shock (maybe) if the OP is anti-guns & Democrat?

Someone made a helpful suggestion on a similar thread a while ago - before you come over it's probably worth running through some basic British English with your DDs. If they misuse words like pants, fanny & bum in front of English kids it could be embarrassing.

Have you posted this before? Or I must have seen a very similar post, even the 'British keep to their own and are hard to make friends with' rings a bell.

are you talking to me?

Possibly. Although about 10 other posters said the same thing, so it could be one of them.

Bit out of order, shepherd. Make her feel nice and welcome.

I am in Peckham which is currently super hip and arty. Lots of lovely housing (you'd be well inside your budget), with good schools both state and fee-paying (the Dulwich schools). It's still pretty urban and gritty despite the gentrification. I mention it because it has very strong church communities, there is a big Nigerian population here and a far number of evangelical Christians, so you'd probably find a thriving child-friendly church. As well as the Nigerian community lots of other nationalities, including Americans, live round here.Very good with children, lots of green spaces and toddler groups etc. Plenty of people don't drive but might hire a car at the weekend. We do drive, but there's only 3 of us so we can get by with a teeny weeny car (parking in London is an utter bitch).

So, not always the prettiest place, with the urban issues you might expect, but could tick quite a number of your boxes. Oh, very well connected transport-wise, and if you want you can walk into the centre (DH does, it's 4 miles and takes him just over an hour. He went through a phase of walking every day, he works near Covent Garden).

Oh, and despite what other pps have said (shame on you shepherd), most Londoners don't find Americans overwhelming or overbearing at all.

jealousy is a playground emotion.

OP, with that budget you could live IN Covent Garden or nearby and your husband could walk to work. Commuting in London is horrible, why not avoid it?

there are central schools and people do live right in the middle. With kids. If you like the city lifestyle, consider it. You won't need or want a car, if you are going away then rent one. You can get anywhere easily from central London. Apart from the huge rents the other costs won't be much greater.

finding a big enough property may mean going a little further away, but I'm seeing them on rightmove for £5k a month.

shepherd the OP was asked what her budget was, she told us; she did not volunteer the information. HTH.

Coming from abroad and with that budget, you'd be crazy to live outside of central London imo.

Shepherd is having posts deleted all over the place, 2 from another thread I was on.

One thing, just because I've been looking into it with regard to DD, if your children have asthma I would not live centrally. London is a very polluted city, top 5 globally I believe and met its annual omissions target in the first few weeks of this year.

Okay this might have been covered but:
All state schools (unless of another faith) are "broadly Christian" - teach Religious Education and are supposed to have "Christian" assemblies. BUT all schools (certainly all state ones) are legally obliged to teach evolution, and not just as "one theory". I looked at some Lutheran schools in the US and was shocked at their stance on this.
Even my East Coast Democrat friends - find it hard to fully understand the British attitude to guns (and the fact we have so little gun crime). Most criminals do not carry guns.

OP, with that budget you could live IN Covent Garden or nearby and your husband could walk to work. Commuting in London is horrible, why not avoid it?

I am not convinced Covent Garden would be a great place to live. It is incredibly touristy, which was my knock against Camden. It will get tiresome constantly wading through hordes of tourists.

Plenty of backstreets and other ways. Yes, I do know someone that lives there. Not actually in the market of course!

I sound like a broken record... but thank you all! Seriously, all of this information is super helpful. I'm very grateful. :-)

We are Presbyterian. Finding a school that is faith based is a perk, but not the most important. We just want a good education and a lovely community for our children. And walking to school is a must! Maybe no more than 10 minutes.

DH wants no more than a 30 minute commute... that's door to door.

I can't believe how many great neighborhoods there are! This will be tough narrowing down which one. But we will most likely meet with a relocation and educational consultant/agent. We will take all of your suggestions into consideration! I'm already looking them up. :-)

I know the American School is $34K which is comparable to NYC private schools. How much are the independent schools per year?

We have a few British friends here and they're so fun and wonderful! A couple just mentioned certain British people are difficult to befriend... They mentioned a few really look at what "class" you are? But you can find this everywhere. And I'm assuming that if people were born and raised in London, then they have their own circle of friends already and might not be willing to allow one more.

No, I just joined Mumsnet! Never posted about this before. But might I say, what a great group!

"with that budget you could live IN Covent Garden or nearby and your husband could walk to work. Commuting in London is horrible, why not avoid it?"

If it was just the OP and her DH, then they could - indeed - have a fab 'hipster life' in Covent Garden. But they have three DC who need to go to school - plus, I'm sure, they would prefer to live in a more family orientated area.

There are areas of London where you might find a concentration of people born and raised in the area, but not many. Most people move to London for work often after University. Then may even move to a different part and certainly make different friends when they have children. Then when their children get older they may move out to 'the Home Counties". I think typical fees for ages 4-11 would be about £16000 a year, although these tend to rise every year, and it gets more expensive when you get to senior years. (Fees are quoted per term, of which there are three in a year).
If you can get an educational consultant they can be really useful, knowing which schools have places and would suit you and your children.