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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

American family moving to London with 3 little kids...

380 replies

Arty3542 · 08/05/2016 20:41

Hello all!

I have no idea where to post this... My husband and I might relocate to London at the beginning of next year. He has a job opportunity in Covent Garden. Our kids are 6, 4 and 2 years old. We will be moving from the NYC area. We are very excited but I'm very nervous at the same time. I'm so worried about being isolated and lonely.

Which area is best for American Expats? Do we try for a church/Christian school? Do we attempt to apply to the American School? I heard this is very hard to get into. Will we be in for a culture shock? Do you think it will be easy to make friends with people? Only asking because a couple people told me it's very hard to make friends, the British keep to their own. I didn't know what to say to that and thought it was a bit silly.

AIBU? ;)

Thank you in advance!

OP posts:
Arty3542 · 09/05/2016 00:02

Sunday Service, how long have you been living in London? This thread has been very informative. :-)

OP posts:
Arty3542 · 09/05/2016 00:03

Ok, I looked at photos of Primrose Hill and it is gorgeous!!

OP posts:
SchnitzelVonKrumm · 09/05/2016 00:09

Do you want to be with other Americans or live in a more mixed community?

Arty3542 · 09/05/2016 00:17

Hi Schnitzel,
I'm not sure. Both are fine, I think. But we do want to meet the locals.

OP posts:
pilpiloni · 09/05/2016 00:45

Bear in mind when budgeting rent that the tenant pays the equivalent of property tax in the UK. It's not insane like in the U.S. but could still be a lot on an expensive house

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 09/05/2016 00:48

We live in Primrose Hill! At least that is what the estate agents (realtors) call it... it's more like Swiss Cottage. But we still have a Hampstead postcode and some people would say we live in South Hampstead or Belsize Park. Very close to Primrose Hill and Regent's Park and Hampstead Heath is only minutes away. I absolutely adore it here.

The American School... it's very American. Grin Because it is full of expat Americans, it tends to be a very transient population and there are lots of kids who are there for only a couple of years. I have a friend who teaches there and she says the turnover is incredible. OTOH it is an excellent school with fantastic facilities. And if you are going back to the US in 4 years when your eldest is 10 or 11 and ready to start middle school, it might be best to stick with the American system.

However to me it sounds like you are really interested in exploring the full London experience, and I just don't think Americans get that by hanging out with other Americans in SJW....

Iflyaway · 09/05/2016 00:50

Christian school in London? Good luck with that... LOL

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 09/05/2016 00:50

Oh and if it makes any difference, typical prep schools here have uniforms and are single sex!

Iflyaway · 09/05/2016 00:52

Might want to look at Norhtern Ireland, lots of Christian schools there. Smile

Givenuponstarbucks · 09/05/2016 01:05

A lot of good options suggested. But bear in mind that proximity to the west end/central London does not reflect commuting times. If your DH wants up to an hour commuting, then no problem. If he wants less, then yes - stay in Hampstead/St Johns Wood/Primrose Hill. Chiswick, Barnes, Putney are all lovely and only zone 2, but the commute times are probably an hour by the time you change at stations etc. And the overland to Waterloo from south of the river is Shock.

Keep north imo, but if you want a biggish garden then consider Bucks/Herts - half an hour fast train straight to Kings Cross/Marylebone. However, sounds like you can afford a garden centrally with that budget! Good luck

HouseOfMouse · 09/05/2016 01:08

There's a significant American community in St John's Wood. It's expensive but is really nice - it has its own "village" high street which has life of great shops and restaurants, good tube links into town (Jubilee Line - definitely better than Northern Line which is what you'd be on in Hampstead), it's also not far out of the centre but has lots of lovely green space - Regents Park, Primrose Hill and St John's Wood gardens. You'd be close to the canal and the zoo, and a 10-15 minute walk to Marylebone village. The local state schools are excellent (and the American School is there too). There are good local NHS doctors and if you have health insurance a choice of excellent private hospitals and health centres. I live in the next district along and love the area.

shinynewusername · 09/05/2016 01:11

Prep schools in the UK are for kids aged 7-13, just to add to the confusion. What are called prep schools in the US are called public schools here and - as mentioned above- are private. It dates back to when a public school meant "open to the public as opposed to being educated by a tutor at home".

CheekyGit · 09/05/2016 01:47

London is so mixed your unlikey to find yourself in an enclave of purely amercians.

Its a wonderful city for children, loads of things to do, so many quirky excellent musuems. I wouldnt want to live i CG with two small dc, too busy its a tourist hot spot. I agree that Primrose hill ( where lots of the slebs live) has a lovely vibe, very villagey and large green spaces where you can breathe and quaint but a stone throw from the action but with the heath and the hill and london zoo right there, didnt gwen stefani live there? its close to where gwyeth and chris martin lives, as well jude law, kate moss....good enough for them...

BeaArthursUnderpants · 09/05/2016 06:32

OP we just did this! Literally everything you are saying, except the Christian part. Yes it is scary but it is great! Your husband's company should provide you with relocation consultants that will help you through every step of the process, including schools, where to live, etc. The American School is very hard to get into, and probably not a possibility for you for 2016, but there are lots of other great options. You've also missed the deadline for state schools but again, lots of great independent schools. We are very happy where we are. I'm going to send you a PM with more info. Good luck!

TrickyD · 09/05/2016 06:56

Chiswick to Covent Garden walkable?

Hardly, it is 7 miles approximately.

Gowgirl · 09/05/2016 07:03

Tricky - I wouldn't walk it but it is only about 20 minutes on the tube from Turnham Green!

As other posters have said you will find people are much quieter about their religion and won't discuss it easily, lots of lovley parks around Chiswick and not as built up as some areas, people tend to be friendly especially those with smallish children as there is an instant chatting point available. On the other side I know American ex pats who have found England a bit of a culture shock, the language is slightly differant and you can come up against not quite an odd sense of humour!

FruStefanOla · 09/05/2016 07:14

By walkable, I think the OP means would the schools, shops, parks etc be within walking distance - rather than could her DH walk to work from there?

Arty, once you've got here and settled in, keep an eye out for a Mumsnet meet-up in London thread and come along and meet some MNers! Unfortunately you won't get to meet Hearts as she'll be back in Canada by then.

Gowgirl · 09/05/2016 07:27

Yes to the meet ups, it is great fun! Next one I have told dh he better be mobile as I'm not leaving early again Grin

ceeveebee · 09/05/2016 07:53

Look at Belsize Park too, between Hampstead and St. John's Wood, easily commutable to Covent Garden (northern line to Leicester Square)

I was going to suggest Richmond but the commute won't be great and any good state schools are massively over subscribed. If you did look at Richmond then you'd want to live on/around Richmond hill for the vineyard school.

TrickyD · 09/05/2016 07:56

Fru and Gowgirl, yes I should have RTFT properly. Sorry.

glowfrog · 09/05/2016 08:08

We live in south east London in Herne Hill/ Dulwich area - I believe there is an American community in nearby Dulwich. Lots of church schools around and even a church nursery. And the amazing Brockwell Park with an outdoor swimming pool - and still in Zone 2. You can bus it to Covent Garden and there is excellent access by train to Victoria or London Bridge or St Pancras, ie all ends of central London.

glowfrog · 09/05/2016 08:12

As you have missed the deadline for applying to state schools, have a look into free schools in the area of your choice - I think they are the equivalent of charter schools in the US. Because many are new, they may have spaces available to late applications. Look them up on the Ofsted website (should be a link on school website) and look at the report, it will give you some idea (but not complete picture) of what a school is like.

FruStefanOla · 09/05/2016 08:28

"I find it amazing that areas outside of London are still walkable while being so close to the city. Here, it's entirely different as you know. In the suburbs, the space is bigger, the commute is longer, and nothing is really in walking distance."

The thing is, Arty, that the majority of these areas (Inner London Boroughs and most of the Outer London Boroughs too) were built before cars were invented, so their infrastructure - schools, shops, churches etc - had to be within walking distance for the residents because ordinary people didn't have horse drawn transport.

I'm guessing that, because you do have so much space in America, the suburbs, if built pre-cars, had enough space for each house to have stabling for a horse and carriage (buggy in American?) - and post-cars meant there was plenty of space for each house to have adequate car parking, so further distances to local amenities didn't really matter.

sashh · 09/05/2016 08:30

Only asking because a couple people told me it's very hard to make friends, the British keep to their own

PMLOL - er London is at least as culturally / ethically/ linguistically diverse as New York.

We would love a Chrisitan based school too

You are in luck there, all English schools (unless they get an opt out which they have to have a good reason for) have to have a 'daily act of worship' and it has to be 'christian'. Faith schools are state funded so there are loads.

There isn't any 'zoning' as such, schools do tend to have a catchment area but also loads of other things come in to it.

And one last thing your 4 year old may well be in school full time in a school uniform.

ceeveebee · 09/05/2016 08:56

Having lived in London and now moved to another UK city (not my hometown) I'd say it's actually easier to make friends in London - the majority of people weren't born there and are all in the same boat re not having family support and old friendships to fall back on.