American family moving to London with 3 little kids...

[Arty3542]

Hello all!

I have no idea where to post this... My husband and I might relocate to London at the beginning of next year. He has a job opportunity in Covent Garden. Our kids are 6, 4 and 2 years old. We will be moving from the NYC area. We are very excited but I'm very nervous at the same time. I'm so worried about being isolated and lonely.

Which area is best for American Expats? Do we try for a church/Christian school? Do we attempt to apply to the American School? I heard this is very hard to get into. Will we be in for a culture shock? Do you think it will be easy to make friends with people? Only asking because a couple people told me it's very hard to make friends, the British keep to their own. I didn't know what to say to that and thought it was a bit silly.

AIBU? ;)

Thank you in advance!

From what I have heard and the experiences of people I know, and the Americans I know, the important thing is just to be aware and cautious about the fact that it IS a totally different culture. People assume that when moving from the US to the UK, or vice versa, that it's completely different to moving somewhere like France or China. The assumption is I know the language, I've seen the TV shows or movies, therefore it will be completely easy to integrate and everything will be fine. It will be just like home apart from the weather, the accents and driving on the wrong side of the road. If you go in with that attitude, you're likely to have problems. If you go in expecting it to be a totally foreign culture with unexpected things and confusing things, exciting things and bits that you don't really like (just like moving to France) then you'll be fine - and probably find that there are more similarities than expected.

Don't worry too much about class or about trying to work out what the culture might be. Just come and take things as you find them and see how you get on. Londoners are used to people from all kinds of cultures, and many people move in and out of London and there are so many activities and things to do that you're bound to meet people you get on with, and definitely the "circle of friends" thing isn't true, it's just not that fixed. It might take some time to get to know people compared to back home, but if you expect that then it won't seem as awkward.

I had to google Presbyterian - it's a branch of Protestantism? That would be Church of England. Or you could look at the United Reformed Church which most branches were absorbed into in the 70s. If you want an Evangelical Presbyterian church it looks like the closest one to London is in Chelmsford in Essex. That is commuting distance, I don't know anything else about it. Most people in Britain aren't very religious.

chiswick is nice but not a patch on hamstead, prim hill, chelsea, high gate etc.

Thank you! Yes, Presbyterian is a branch of Protestantism. Our church in NYC lists a few of the churches they are affiliated with in London. If you scroll down, you'll see London. I recognize a couple areas but I don't know where most of these churches are. And it's not totally necessary for us to go to one of these.
www.redeemercitytocity.com/europe

I will also read about the churches you mentioned, Bertie.

Thank you mummytime! £16,000 per year is more doable than the cost of the American school or private schools.

Oh, and how do children have playdates? Do they just meet at the park? Do you have to plan far in-advance? Or are playdates more spontaneous? Do parents and kids meet-up after school? How long does one drop off their child for a playdate at someone's house?

If your DH wants a door-to-door commute of 30 minutes, no more, then that is going to limit you a lot. Even from zone 2 most people would factor 40-45 minutes to get to work. You would need to be living on exactly the right train or tube line to get to his office. Outside zone 2 would be very unlikely. So, as the job is in Covent Garden you need to be on the Piccadilly line (the only line to serve CG itself. He might be close to Leicester Square tube which is Picc and Northern lines. The Northern line can be a shocker), no further out than zone 2. St John's Wood is on the Jubilee, you'd change at Green Park for the Picc, but I doubt it would be 30 mins door-to-door.

So. South/west could be South Kensington (uber posh), north-west centrally you could look around Russell Square? Lovely Georgian squares but could be a lot of uni housing. He could walk to CG from there, I used to work near RG and would walk to CG in my lunch hour.

You need to get yourself an A-Z street map and a tube map and Google maps.

Another American here, moving to London (Muswell Hill area) this summer (from another part of England). I'd forgotten that in all likelihood I will run into some Americans in London at some point. I've been here 12 years and still struggled with the school system - although mine are home educated now, so that's not nearly as big an issue now. I have always liked the idea that there is some church instruction at school - I think the nativity plays at Christmas are wonderful and we really enjoyed that when the children were in them.

The moment I tried to cross the street, the first day I was in the UK (in London) was when I realised that it was a complete culture change. Something as simple as crossing the street can no longer be done on autopilot, as you have to realise the traffic is coming from the opposite way you naturally expect it to be! (Cue me almost stepping out in front of a bus ) Cultural references sail right over your head, which can be actually rather isolating, as you feel like everyone knows all the "in jokes" and you don't. Most people I've met here and lovely and friendly and happy to chat.

Yes, kids have play dates. I arrange them at the school gates with the other parent, or by phone, they pick your kid up with theirs from school and then you pick them up at a pre-arranged time from theirs. I pick up at about 6 from a play date.

When DD was little I did meet a couple of people in the park. Londoners, especially parents in the park, are not as unfriendly as you might think! I don't think Londoners are that unfriendly anyway, more wary of people talking to them randomly on the bus! But two parents chatting at the swings - no problem.

Ooh, crossing the road -jaywalking is not a thing here, you can cross the road where you like! I didn't understand what jaywalking was for years!

Hi Arty - While I adore St JOhn's Wood and Hampstead, most of the arty community have been priced out years back! Many American Londoners I know have shifted slightly from Notting Hill and St Johns Wood to Maida Vale / Little Venice and the garden squares there - things like bonfire night and July 4th communal parties in the square. Walking distance to both N Hill and St JOhn's Wood (& of course WInfield House, if you're lucky enough to be invited to one of Matthew Barzun's parties - I know a few people who have, and RAVE about him / her / the parties).
There's a good state catholic junior school in Maida Vale but I'm afraid I don't know about Church of England (pretty close to Episcopalian) there. Lots of private schools in spitting distance though (but with some pretty intimidating school runs)

(oh and the local kids park in Maida Vale has fantastic sports / tennis / cricket facilities and frequent sightings of Jude Law, plus there's a fabulous yoga centre)

Presbyterian is closer to the Church of Scotland. Much more protestant than the CoE

Ok, my mistake... For some reason I thought DH would be in Covent Garden. His office would be in White Chapel. Does the Aldgate train stop sound familiar? Well this changes things a bit! Darn. Sorry about that!

I will have to talk to him about his commute time. Maybe push it to 45 minutes.... ?

Richmond is out if you want 30 minute commute - despite the fast train service, it used to regularly take me over an hour door to door to the west end (and I lived close to the station, but the good houses/schools are 15 minute walk from the station

I'd look at Hampstead, Belsize Park, Primrose Hill or Highgate (all on/close to various branches of northern line which go to Leicester Square in under 30 mins door to door depending how close to the station you are)

Whitechapel? Well, that's east of the City. Only just in Zone 1. If he wants 30 minutes then that'll rule out the majority of places so far discussed. You'd be talking about east or south east, or central. Nowhere as pretty or smart as Hampstead or Primrose Hill. Trendy and gentrified but still pretty urban and gritty.

Frankly, I think your DH should readjust his ideas on the commute (honestly, you need to factor in about 45 mins at least) and focus on the schools. He can commute. Your DC doing so will be a much bigger pain in the arse!

Cross post - Whitechapel is east of the city, so would probably rule out Hampstead and definitely Richmond. Maybe Highgate or Islington would be commutable in 30-40 mins? Or Greenwich, Dulwich, Balham or Clapham on the south?

I agree you'll need to live very centrally to get a max 30 min commute. You need to factor in walking to the station, getting to the platform - and if it's one of the very deep tube lines, that can take some time - waiting for a train, getting out of the station at the other end, walking to the office....

The Presbyterian church is nothing like the C of E. and even less like the Catholic church. You might need to consider that when thinking about whether to go for a faith school.

If you wanted to try C of E services, there are some wonderful historic church buildings in and around London.

Ok, thank you! I'll talk to DH tonight. Schools and where we live are most important. So is primrose hill area an hour from Liverpool/Aldgate station? We could look into Dulwich. How is Balham?
Is Richmond over an hour?

There are some great neighborhoods on the metropolitan line. West hampstead of course but also harrow on the hill and further out. The commute shouldn't be bad if you're close to the station. With your budget you could have a mansion a bit further out!

Whitechapel is on the overground line from Islington/Canonbury. A quick commute and much more pleasant than the Underground. Islington is a big borough and socially very mixed but there are some beautiful squares wth big Georgian houses, and one of the best High Streets in London - every shop/restaurant/chichi cafe you could ever need. It's like a little mini-town in itself if that makes sense.

There is a growing American community in Greenwich and Blackheath which would be good for your husband's job. He can either catch the DLR to Tower Hill or walk from Cannon St/London Bridge rail station.

Equally, Dulwich would be very commutable - again, train to London Bridge.

Amongst my friends, many are priced out of St Johns Wood these days and the Embassy is selling staff housing as staff transfer back in preparation for their move to Battersea. Chelsea and Fulham are still pretty common addresses, as are Putney and Battersea.

Without outing myself may I put in a small plug for something that might help you navigate the wilderness?

www.amazon.co.uk/Living-London-practical-Junior-League/dp/0952519550

Sorry was thinking of finchley road station for west hampstead

Actually, Angel/Highbury also has a sizeable American community as Tallulahoola says, and Whitechapel is very commutable.

But Primrose Hill to Aldgate is definitely doable in 45 minutes. Have a look at a tube map - you would go from Chalk Farm/Camden and change at Kings Cross, which is a hub station where everybody changes. I warn you though that rush hour tube journeys take some getting used to

the important thing is just to be aware and cautious about the fact that it IS a totally different culture. People assume that when moving from the US to the UK, or vice versa, that it's completely different to moving somewhere like France or China.

I am not sure if you are trying to scare the OP, but it really isn't that different a culture. If you haven't gone to a place with a completely different culture before, you can really tell the difference. China is going to be out of this world different compared to the UK. Beside Canada and Australia, the UK is probably next in line for similarity. And one of the big differences (dense living) is not going to affect the OP coming from NYC.

The language is the same (there's a word here or there that is different. it's the accents that may throw you off more than anything). There are definitely many differences, but certainly not a totally different culture.

For journey times it would be a good idea to Google TfL journey planner . Put in your start and end stations and it will give you the total journey time and show how many changes there will be ( I find every change you have to make increases the chances of delays). You will of course have to add on some time for journey to and from the tube station either end .