To ask why the fuck some people are so rude to retail staff

[Abbinob]

Been working in a shop for all of 2 months and I'm starting to hate people.
I don't care about people being on their phones or whatever but it's the people that just chuck there stuff down, almost throw their bag at you and then just chuck a bunch of coins in the counter without even saying a word. I am a person not a bag packing scanning machine robot thing. Or people who throw strops because there's a massive queue and half way through scanning there things they realise they have no money so want to go and get some out the cash machine round the corner and have a huge strop because obviously I void their stuff so I can serve everyone else.
And not to mention the man who came in today and demanded "oi girl! 20 richmond"
Don't "Oi girl"me you rude cunt

IonaNE
In supermarkets I tend to scan things myself (unless it's a really big weekend shop) because of the "Are you planning anything nice today/this evening?" and "Oh, that cake/ice-cream/mango looks really delicious!" and similar coming from the person at the till. I usually answer politely, but what I'd really like to say is "sorry, none of your business, I do have friends, I discuss these things with them, I'm here to shop and get out, could we omit the chatting please."

Also... well, sorry to say but the people who did well in school work as lawyers, doctors and university lecturers, and not in retail, hairdressing or "beauty therapy". And while it was none of the business of that customer and s/he should not have voiced it, a degree that leads to working in retail was a waste of time and money.

I am shocked (well tbh not really just disgusted) at your attitude towards people who work in retail or service industries.

How do you suppose you would do your shopping if there was nobody there to serve you? They arent beneath you just because they do a different job to you. Many very well educated people work in these industries, many go on to work their way up the ladder and many well educated people in other 'better' (according to you) jobs are bigger pratts than anyone working at my local supermarket I can tell you. Education doesnt mean common sense or manners (obviously judging by your post) You discuss mangos with your friends? Wow they must be scintilating conversationalists! People are just being nice to you to pass the time in a pleasant way yet you would rather throw it back in their faces? Says a lot more about you than the person in the supermarket I'm afraid.

Do you understand the current job market? Many people have to take what they can get if they get let down in their job or are unable to find a job in their particular field at that precise time they are serving you in a shop/hairdressers/beauticians. Maybe due to helath or family circumstances they are unable to work the hours needed for their chosen career meantime? Maybe it suits them to do it, and despite customers like you they actually enjoy it which means more to many people than all the 'well done at school jobs' in the world.

And you do know that many people in the jobs you mention have qualifications in their field anyway you just dont have a clue about them unless you ask.

Wow just wow, never heard such a rotten attitude to people who are doing YOU a service...

P.S. why is the emphasis not working?

Worked in libraries for seven years and left nearly thirty years ago.

My favourite was the man who had stood for election as an MP a couple of years before. He was incredibly rude to me, something about my hair being too long and needing brushing amoungst other rudeness. I glared at him and said I would remember his comments when there was next an election. I did remember and when he came canvassing at our front door I reminded him of his insults and why I would not be voting for him. I followed it up by stopping at his stand in town the following weekend and in front of him told his supporters how rude he was. Not sure why he wasn't pleased.

Many moons ago when I did my nurse training there was no 'degree' We worked 3 years in blocks of college and on the wards turn about. We learned the basics - physical stuff like bed making, hygiene etc and the theory at college and everything else on the wards. We had clinical tutors on the wards and the other staff to guide and teach us and matrons to keep the whole hospital in line!

When the first degree students started appearing on the ward maybe I just go unlucky but I was gobsmacked to see some of them arguing with ward staff nurses about what a patient should have to drink etc, they hadnt even been near a patient yet but because they had spent 3 years in college they thought they knew it all.

These days I know a couple of the new style nurses and they are lovely but they dont like the degree system at all, they would rather be on the wards learning by doing it, not in a classroom.

I dont think that years of education in 'class/uni' etc is the b & end of everything.

Many millionaires today didnt have a good education, they started with nothing and got on with it. Sometimes the person is bigger than their circumstances.

I think everyone should work in retail at least once, they might be more polite then! I worked in Waitrose whilst at school many yrs ago and some customers were beyond rude!

My grandfather always thought exactly the same thing, I had to spend a year working in retail and having my income managed so it never went above income support level no bail outs no give up allowed before I could inherit what he wanted me to have.

The man was a genius and I'm imensely grateful to him for making me do it.

Fwiw ive been trying to poach the woman who sells me my newspaper every morning for years, she's possibly one of the best thinkers I have ever come across is very obviously so intelligent that you couldn't fail to notice it and has an extraordinary level of knowledge in the field I work in and I'm not meaning in general I'm meaning laws/policies/ official shit that I would do pretty much anything within reason to have her on my team.

Sadly due to her child being disabled she can only work limited hours and feels unable to meet the required commitment that the tyoe of work needs so she constantly refuses my offers (and thise offers are significant).

And a very close friend is a beautician she's also very talented and shockingly clever and will never have to fear the type of poverty she started life in.

BonnieF I once asked the lad on the deli counter at Waitrose to cut me a kilo of ham and he asked me how much that was.

I think it's a superiority complex. Some people really think they're better than those who work in retail or in restaurants/pubs. They think that because they're spending money (or have done well in school) they're actually worth more than retail staff. How on earth is financial or educational success a measure of someone's value as a human being?

I've just remembered one of the best ones! I used to work in a Yorkshire branch of Waitrose and a customer complained about our accents!

Xenia wasn't such a bitch.

Perhaps condescendingly I do feel sorry for the people who spent time and money getting degrees and then end up not being able to get a "graduate job". I don't think the increase of university places without a demand from employers is a good thing. If graduates are happy to take jobs they could have done before A levels, then that's fine by me. I accept that education can be its own reward and people don't just go to university in order to get a better paid job, but there must be lots of people who don't see a good return on their investment.

If people working in retail/hospitality are earning minimum wage or not much more, shouldn't we all be polite to them all the time? They're definitely not paid enough to deal with rudeness.

I am polite to retail staff but I prefer to limit interaction - I don't want to discuss last night's television or my holiday plans with a random stranger. Nor do I want to be upsold to when I have been standing in a queue and there are others waiting.

Keep it brief, polite and distant please and I will always prefer the scanners which don't want to chat to me.

The beautician that does my nails is a very shrewd business lady....she is under 30 and owns 3 salons in the area with her partner. She is very lovely and highly qualified, and has very exacting standards for her staff. If one of my DC wanted to go into that industry, I'd be absolutely fine with it!

Re nurses - I'm currently on NICU with 2 very preemie twins - the level of nursing/care in this type of unit is amazing. I certainly couldn't do it. It's truly a vocation. I'm very grateful to have a team of highly skilled/qualified neonatal practitioners looking after my girls; and I wish there was more I could do to show my gratitude (other than keep them supplied with sweets/chocolate/cake!)

OP I've not read the thread but YANBU!

I hate this! You can be shy, reserved, un-chatty as a customer but not downright rude! I'm not a chatter, but I will chat if chatted to. Plus I smile, say hello and goodbye and would never speak to someone in retail as if they were my servant or slightly stupid (why would I ?) but I have seen it happen many times.

Someone once told me if you are dating a man and he talks down to restaurant staff or is rude to them, that tells you an awful lot about his character and to ditch him like a ton of hot bricks.

I've worked in retail, for the stroppy regular customers I'd make up a back story in my head about how shit their lives were at home. But one day a regular came in, I was alone with three other customers and he went off on one about my 'mistake', it wasn't. The more I tried to explain, nicely, the more he ranted and told me he'd speak to my manager. I told him to. Then I burst into tears. He left, the other customers made a huge fuss of me (embarrassing) and they told my manager who then wanted to bar the stroppy git. I left the next week, couldn't hack it.

On the other hand DH wants to make everyone's day and isn't happy until he's joking with the assistants. Shopping takes a while..

On the other hand DH wants to make everyone's day and isn't happy until he's joking with the assistants. Shopping takes a while..

I think everyone should work in retail at least once

Yes, especially politicians, to bring them down into the real world. Whole other debate but in my view, nobody should be in politics without having worked in a front-line customer facing job (and I don't mean an MP surgery). Too many career politicians have barely lived in the world everyone else lives in.

I really hate it when they put the money on the till so they don't have to touch me

This is sometimes just a misunderstanding. Where I live it is rude to put the money directly into someone's hand. I forgot this when I was back in the UK and one shop assistant had a go at me for not doing it!

They do it to wind you up and they secretly hope you retaliate. Then they can get you sacked! That's how evil they are. I could never work 'face to face' with the public. They'd get an earful and a smack!
That's why I prefer phone work. You can pull faces and throw V's and they can't see it!

There have been occasions when retail staff have been very rude though. It does happen the other way round.

I moved from retail to the NHS and my experience is that the people who are rudest are often those who feel the most powerless

I think this is true. It's rare to see a poster up about "zero tolerance for verbal abuse" etc in a private setting but always in NHS facilities, rail ticket offices etc. Ultimately you can generally go to a different shop but if you need a rail ticket or treatment from a doctor, you can't really choose. But with that in mind, public bodies could do more to teach their staff to deal with difficult customers. I went on training on dealing with difficult people when I was working at the library and it's not remotely comparable to working as eg a GP's receptionist but they still thought it was worthwhile. I'd say NHS receptionists are the ones who really need those tools and techniques to deal with stroppy "customers". Not just being rude, which they often are, but actually being able to diffuse situations.

All that annoying 'conversation' comes from retail management, too. The person serving you would probably far rather not put you through it either but they are being checked up on and that along with scan rate could lead to a disciplinary.

I have the delight of working in service for someone who thinks I'm below her, in a place she owns, where clearly lots of the clientele think I'm below them as well. So that's nice. We've recently changed the layout and from waitress service to self service and I get complaints daily about this (I didn't even start working there until after the change, definitely wasn't my decision, but my offers to pass the complaints on to management are always met with a derisory look/comment). As for the complaints about how long service takes (you try making 15 drinks with heated/foamed milk while also running the till and taking food orders as to save money you're the only member of staff in the building), well. That's all definitely worth my minimum wage and lack of breaks.

And I have a degree. I was going to be a teacher until I realised it wasn't for me. I now have two children under five and need flexible hours. I don't actually need to work but want to help provide for my children and get out of the house/have a starting point when they're both in school.

As for speaking to you when we're serving, trust me. Most of the time we'd be delighted to say no more than necessary, especially if you've made it clear you don't want to chat. But at some places I've worked you'd be retrained on customer service/disciplined for repeatedly not asking questions and trying to make conversation.

IonaNE

Those are possibly the most arrogant, ill-informed and ignorant posts I've ever seen on Mn!

I've a degree, a diploma and several other professional qualifications frankly people with an attitude like yours don't deserve service!

I've worked as a hcp, retail assistant, in hospitality, in FACTORIES for crying out loud (god knows what you think of that!) all had their own challenges. All required intelligence, knowledge and skills.

As you seem to be some kind of scientist, are you completely unaware that eg hairdressers are dealing with chemicals and need at least a basic knowledge in chemistry and biology?

My parents - both very intelligent but from poor working class backgrounds had to leave school early to support their families. Both went on (via promotion rather than traditional educational routes) to be very well respected professionals (father recruitment, mother IT). But presumably you'd have looked down your nose at them as they didn't have degrees?

I have a friend who is very high up in a chemistry company - again left school at 16 started as a lab assistant. She now recruits and trains graduates and despairs at the way they think they know it all because they have a degree when they've not had the job 5 minutes!

Would LOVE to know exactly how long you think you would survive without:

Street cleaners
Bin men
Truck drivers
Train drivers
Road and rail maintenance workers
Builders
Plumbers
Electricians
Telecoms maintenance engineers
Water treatment workers
Power supply workers etc etc

And I hope no nurse finds out your views in real life

What about all the administrators at MNHQ? Are they beneath you too?

Toriapumpkin, I think our managers might have been trained at the same charm school. I keep getting retrained for the most bizarre things and can never even hope to come anywhere near her high standards, even though the members of her family who work for her don't have to bother with any of that as they are all clearly perfect. Most recently she has, without comment, cut my hours as a member of her family wants to increase theirs.
It has been an absolute pleasure... but I am looking for an alternative as I have begun to realise I am not quite so worthless as she seems to think. Good luck with yours, I think the attitude you expressed is fab, go run your own café and let me know if you need any staff! ;-)

Not strictly on topic, but people like IonaNE would do well to remember that one day, the very people they disparage will be the ones wiping their arses.

It might be an idea to spend some time now readjusting your superior view of yourself, all too soon, your quality of life may depend on the very people you presently look down your nose at.

When I worked in a Filling station we used to keep a weekly graph of the various names we got called (mostly polite(ish)) like, Pal, Mate, Captain, Chief etc It relieved the boredom

We took quite a lot of abuse in that job - of course someone working long antisocial shifts for min wage (never got 2 consecutive days off or bank hols) is personally responsible for -
The price of fuel
The price of stuff in the shop
The fact we did/didn't stock particular things (this was governed by HQ who didn't welcome feedback at all)
The fact we refused to write false receipts (this gave rise to most arguing and vilification, usually from "respectable" looking businessmen).

It was an education though - I never realised just how many of my fellow citizens are nasty corrupt dishonest crooks.