To ask why the fuck some people are so rude to retail staff

[Abbinob]

Been working in a shop for all of 2 months and I'm starting to hate people.
I don't care about people being on their phones or whatever but it's the people that just chuck there stuff down, almost throw their bag at you and then just chuck a bunch of coins in the counter without even saying a word. I am a person not a bag packing scanning machine robot thing. Or people who throw strops because there's a massive queue and half way through scanning there things they realise they have no money so want to go and get some out the cash machine round the corner and have a huge strop because obviously I void their stuff so I can serve everyone else.
And not to mention the man who came in today and demanded "oi girl! 20 richmond"
Don't "Oi girl"me you rude cunt

PunkrockerGirl, the list was an example, not definitive (though I did not include that as a caveat, maybe I should have). What I was getting at was useless "Mickey Mouse degrees" that lead to no jobs. I currently work for a big multinational company as an analyst. Alongside two 18-year-old apprentices we have two Sociology graduates and two people with Masters (!) degrees in Psychology doing exactly the same work as the 18-year-olds.

Where do nurses sit on your arrogant/ignorant career scale?
If I really wanted to take a dig at you, I would ask since when (literally, i.e. what year) have nurses neede to be educated to degree-level.

there's nothing , absolutely nothing wrong with working in retail, hairdressing or beauty therapy
???? Where did I say "there is something very wrong indeed with working in retail, hairdressing or beauty therapy"?

IonaNE proves my point too.
I was impressed by a woman in a coffee shop, the man in front of her was really rude to the assistant because she gave him the wrong coffee (despite the fact that she put it right) and she said 'do you have to be so rude?' He blustered away that he wasn't but she was having none of it and told him that he was extremely rude and it was completely unnecessary. We should all challenge these people.
Everyone should be treated the same, whoever they are, and that is politely.

Also... well, sorry to say but the people who did well in school work as lawyers, doctors and university lecturers, and not in retail, hairdressing or "beauty therapy". And while it was none of the business of that customer and s/he should not have voiced it, a degree that leads to working in retail was a waste of time and money.

Wow Iona. You're an absolute charmer.

There are so many overqualified people in retail/call-centre/hospitality roles. Not usually because their degree choice (or A levels etc), grades or personal qualities are lacking. Sad to say, they're usually women and often juggling other things. I know dozens of such people and they're all much pleasanter and wiser than you.

Where do nurses sit on your arrogant/ignorant career scale?
If I really wanted to take a dig at you, I would ask since when (literally, i.e. what year) have nurses neede to be educated to degree-level.

Have you been hacked?

Iona what has any of your degree snobbery got to do with the op?? Unless you feel people who work with the public in your list of people beneath you deserve to be treated like crap ... because they don't have a degree ?

OP it's a question I ask every day.The other day I had to leave my till to go to the bathroom. Customer in the queue bellows at me "where the bloody hell do you think you're going?"

Had it not been near the end of a spectacularly crap day, I probably wouldn't have answered with "I'm going for a wee, and I'd much rather do it upstairs than on the floor here, ok?" before carrying on my way.

It boggles my mind. We have a caller system to call you to our tills. 9/10 customers don't wait, and then get shirty because I'm still finishing the previous customers stuff, even though they've left already, or I need to get something for the till (I work in a Post office, and parcels don't magic their own way to the post sacks, and stamp books don't replenish themselves either...) And god forbid their parcel weighs more than they expect. Of course, my fault! I generally try to be positive and chipper, but there's some customers that I sit there thinking "Man, I wish your dad had worn a condom that night...."

Yanbu - people can be incredibly rude, and actually scary - I've seen it and dealt with it. I was on the checkout at a DIY store at 17 (I'm now in my 40's) as a Saturday girl, and the times that people were unspeakably abusive are etched in my brain. Like the bloke who was being so horrible to me, making threats, and whilst I dealt with it coolly I must have looked upset because another bloke in the queue stepped in and said "yes, I see there's a problem, but I don't think it's this young lady's fault" (and I thank him from the bottom of my heart). And the guy whose cheque needed authorising, who then shouted at me "I owe you 3 minutes of my time!" (I still don't know what he meant by that!).

It did actually convince me to never take another job dealing with the public- although I did. I worked in a bar at Uni (which was fine) and in CS telephone support after Uni (which wasn't). My mission is to make sure my dc never work in customer facing roles - they destroy your faith in humanity.

Wow Iona. You're an absolute charmer.
Guys. Play the ball, not the girl.

Sad to say, they're usually women and often juggling other things.
Are you saying that the women who are lawyers, doctors, lecturers, nurses don't juggle other things? Are they all single with no children, no elderly parents and no wish to have a partner and children so not looking either?

Yes, you were right: the 4 above mentioned Sociology/PsyMSc graduates are all women. They are all in their 20s. All 4 of them live at home. Just like one of the apprentices, with the difference that she is 18. And not in debt.

Worked in waterstones when I was a PhD student . Group of 18 year old lads went past laughing about you should have tried harder at school etc . Imagine their horror a few weeks later when they had me as their lecturer on citizenship! I spent ages lecturing them about how to treat and not underestimate other people ( not part of the syllabus)

Lona... You could not be more wrong. I am a highly educated "beauty therapist" as you kindly popped it in some inverted commas for me! Possibly one of very few in the country with many letters after her name. It's very obnoxious of you to assume that I have not done well for myself because that's what I am. As it turns out I'm a fucking fantastic "beauty therapist" and I enjoy it far more than my previous career which you might have deemed worthy. I'd love to see you try and do your weekly shop without the help of retail staff. You know, the ones who've made the products, stacked the shelves, manned the tills, collected the trolleys, driven the vans... I could go on but you're clearly so clever I'll stop there.

Excellent Joangray - who'd have thought karma could act so quickly

Ffs. I work in a school as a TA. I've got a degree but am working for only slightly above minimum wage. Sadly, having two children with additional needs means I didn't get the chance to pursue a high flying career and have to take what I can job-wise to make ends meet.

Have you ever worked in retail, Iona?

I've only ever done retail, though I'm currently a SAHM. I've been sworn at for refusing alcohol sales (quite a lot, actually), told off for not smiling enough, had an old perv grab me and slobber on my neck, been accused of stealing customer's money, spoken to like I'm a toddler etc etc. We can't all be middle class bankers, doesn't mean we should be treated like shit.

IoneNe that was an awful post.

I really like the ladies in the supermarket (not that I go often, have most of it delivered) and always have a nice chat with them. If I'm being served by someone who looks under 21 I always ask if they are going out tonight, are they at school, on a gap year, etc.. Usually they are and often we have a chat about their mum being at home cooking them dinner before they go out.

Also, I often need help when I'm clothes shopping. I often chose two/three things and it's wonderfully helpful when the assistant is on hand to get a different size for me or make another suggestion, or offers to get a pair of shoes so I can see what it would look like with the right shoes.

Very occasionally someone in a shop is rude or unhelpful but not very often. I have a very bad back and usually staff are really happy to help me get something from the bottom shelf if I can't reach it.

One little irk I have is the gum chewing. I really don't want to see that but it doesn't mean I'm rude.

If one of my children had said something like you can't have done well at school because you work in a shop, they would have been in deep deep trouble. Which reminds me, my son was difficult in the John Lewis shoe department once when he was four. I have him three warnings to be well behaved and polite, apologised to the lady and we left. The next day we went back with a card from him to say he was very sorry to have been rude. The staff were very surprised and said their lives would be greatly better if all children were shown how to behave.

Having said that I do sometimes find staff are rude and I will stand and wait for a thank you or say "I'm sorry, did you mean to say thank you"?

On the whole the place where I find people rudest is sadly in hospitals. I'm afraid that's where I see people being messed about, hear raised voices at the patients and patients being spoken to as though they are thick. I find it rather sad.

Are you saying that the women who are lawyers, doctors, lecturers, nurses don't juggle other things? Are they all single with no children, no elderly parents and no wish to have a partner and children so not looking either?

Study after study show that (for example) single parents are far, far more likely to work below their qualification level than the general population; That parents of a disabled child ditto; Parents of children with SN are also far more likely to end up as single parents; Carers of all stripes are less likely to do career-level paid work whilst caring.

As for qualifying for prestigious career roles in the first place, individuals born to non-graduates, or in depressed northern ex-mining areas, or into homes that are otherwise deprived have an absolute mountain to climb to obtain three decent A levels, a good degree from a decent university and then translate that into a good career in the first place. Do you really not know all this?

There's no shame in honest labour.

Your sniffy condescension to the honestly employed is appalling.

YANBU op - I had a dreadful ex who used to ritually humiliate waiting staff and talk down to them. He was an inadequate git.

My DSis and I shared a job as students in a newsagent, and although we had some lovely customers we were also grunted and sworn at during virtually every single shift by some really rude, ignorant people who couldn't seem to see beyond their next forty fags and ten lottery tickets. We did start to seek covert revenge on some of the really horrid ones in the end by momentarily activating the magnet on the door as they were exiting the shop, or ringing to do a spot check on their credit card. Small subversive victories saved my sanity some days !

I wouldn't say it was Mickey Mouse degrees that are the problem. I think it's much more likely that the fact far too many people go to university now and as a result we have an abundance of graduates but not enough graduate jobs to go around.

I know two people who both have law degrees from respectable Russell Group universities . One of them works in a coffee shop and the other works in a supermarket.

I stacked shelves in Tesco as a student and after. I was occasionally asked what I wanted to do when I had finished school. I always took great delight in telling them that I had a degree in education and was doing supply work in the week and working at Tesco at the weekend while applying for teaching jobs.

I work in retail and I actually quite enjoy dealing with the twatty ones. I'm team leader and remove the twat away from my member of staff that they're upsetting and give them my very best dinner lady voice and glare. I usually get an apology.

Also... well, sorry to say but the people who did well in school work as lawyers, doctors and university lecturers, and not in retail, hairdressing or "beauty therapy"

I'm sure Philip Green, Joan Burstein, Nicky Clarke, John Frieda, Jo Malone are really sorry they're not lawyers, doctors and lecturers.

Plenty of degree holders, and indeed v intelligent people (degree holder or not) do 'crappy' jobs. Only a fool would judge them on that - there are many reasons why someone might need to get 'any job' for whatever reason. We can't all be doctors or lawyers, and plenty of people just don't want to.

Funnily enough, I think I had no abuse when I was in my bar job at Uni, because all the bar staff were very obviously students. I certainly looked like the epitome of a student at the time. The clientele, however, were not students, but what would be referred to as 'townies'. I think there was something about that, that stopped the customers looking down on the bar staff.

it turns out I'm a fucking fantastic "beauty therapist" and I enjoy it far more
I can't comment on how f*cking fantastic a "beauty therapist" you are, given that I've never had, nor needed the services of any. Tbh before "beauty therapy" was invented as an occupation, I think the world had got on just as well. How much you enjoy doing it also has nothing to do with the matter in question. People enjoy all sorts of things.

I'd love to see you try and do your weekly shop without the help of retail staff.
Why? Have I said anywhere that these jobs are not useful?

Have you ever worked in retail, Iona?
Luckily, no. Nor do I wish to. And, frankly, I expect the increase of the number of self-service tills and other facilities like photo booths in the future.

Yanbu op, I don't know who these people think they are. Nobody should get spoken to like that. I worked in retail for 6 years and I can honestly say not a day went by when I was not verbally abused. I took the approach of killing them with kindness! I think it made them more angry but at least I wouldn’t get into trouble. I now work in care and have done for the past 3 years. I am much happier.

You really have no idea at all.

All the degrees in the world can't give you that humility to treat people as you'd like to be treated.

I'm sure Philip Green, Joan Burstein, Nicky Clarke, John Frieda, Jo Malone are really sorry they're not lawyers, doctors and lecturers.
I've only bothered to Google the first two... but yeah, he really looks like you could have a great conversation with him. Some things you can't buy, you know