to hope for more from grandparents

[TonightIamgointobe]

If your parents live 4+ hours away and have other grandchildren, how much would you hope to see them?
I have the feeling mine aren't that interested in my kids.
We have always got on fine.
Thanks

I have two sons. I have a good relationship with the mother of my grandaughters living 2 hours away, but the older the children become, the busier they are when they are not at school. So I am lucky to be allowed a brief visit every school holiday, but I do try to arrange something in advance in hopes they are available.
The other son lives on the other side of the world, close to his in-laws. If I could just pop round for a cup of tea and go again I reckon it would be fine, but a visit involves hugely expensive 30+ hour journeys each way. And then it necessitates a protracted visit. Last time I went, like ninepins they each got sick while I was there. Disastrous without the weight of any other dynamics, which were fraught enough! Now there is a new baby 4 1/2 months old. Will I ever get to hold that child? Perhaps he will come over and visit during his gap year, if I live that long.

Thank heavens for face time, but oh how I long for more than that.
I truly believe it is what you get for having sons rather than daughters. Sad but true, and I am trying to learn to live with it.

When I told my (retired,widowed but only 65)DM that I was expecting my second child she decided to move 2 hours away, because she "wanted to be a Granny we visited , not an unpaid babysitter". Previously she had babysat my eldest DD approx twice a year, always stayed the night, despite living only 30 mins away, and I would buy her lunch the next day to say thank you.
20 years - and a third DC- later, I visit her about every six weeks, taking a child if one is available! My eldest DD wanted me to accompany her to a uni visit in the city in which my Mother lives, so I suggested I dropped my youngest DD (15) in to 'Granny' for the duration of our three hour visit, thinking it would be a chance for them to chat without my input. My DM told me that she "couldn't sustain interest in her youngest GD for that amount of time"
She lives in a fabulous, but only one-bedroomed,city apartment and loves telling friends her children/grandchildren are visiting but doesn't want us around for more than an hour or so.
At the end of the day, why should she? At least she is honest about her lack of affection to us.
My MIL is hugely involved with her DDs children - too involved in MHO- but caring and interested in my/ her DSs children.
Incidentally my sister became a Grandparent a year ago and says she cannot explain, and was totally amazed by how besotted she feels with her DGD. Her DD is based in Oz but they have jiggled finances to get together twice in a year and she gets a daily photo.

Steichen a year and you twice a year to them.

I am finding it interesting to read this

My situation is MIL who lives short plane ride away sees DC approx 5-6 w/e's per year - we could easily double this on a practical level - in that we could travel over more or host her more - but she is a very demanding and overbearing person with a range of unfair or ridiculous expectations that we have slowly and painfully but successfully worked to overcome. So all in all it's really hard to imagine it could every be more than this due to her personality type and the circumstances

If she was more easy going and/or actively helped with childcare (she is 70 so really too old and even if she wasn't too old she would just moan about it anyway) it might be different but I think 5-6 times is more than decent given the circumstances. To be honest it's not that she is unable to help that has led to us not visiting to the max possible it's more just that she is generally v difficult and can be quite ungrateful at times and she generally makes every visit to her a fussing session that it doesn't really need to be type thing. To be honest think even DH finds it uncomfortable being with her because he can always make an excuse not to see her but always insists on seeing my Dad

Anyway Glad to see we are not too far wide of the general mark as I do sometimes feel bad for not seeing her more but as I say she can be very difficult and I think we have found our natural balance with her at 5-6 w/e per year

We are in (southern) Scotland. GP's in Brum and Kent respectively.

The Kent ones have not seen kids since 2012 (we went down).
The Brum ones have not come up to see them since 2012 either (we've taken them down twice).

I am disabled and money is very very tight.
One dc also has asd so travel can be hard.
Neither Grandfather 'keeps well' (or can be arsed, frankly) but both G'mothers in good health.

The not actually meeting I can understand due to circs. but neither ever call to speak to the children, which I think is very very poor of them.
they are lovely kids and will chat away intelligently for ages given half the chance. I call up the GP's every so often and pass the phone over and they always seem pleased but there is NO EFFORT on their part at all.

My dd will soon be moving over 4 hours away with my gd. I fully expect to be driving down for a few days at least once every 2 months. I work full time and would do it more if I didn't. Let's be honest, I'd live next door if I could 😀

I don't think you are BU to hope for more. But it does depend on their circumstances.

My parents have 13 grandchildren between them. But this is because the stepchildren have stepchildren and there is a great grandchild too.

They live 4 hours drive from everyone and then a 4 hour flight from me. They will not move closer. At the moment they see me for a few weeks a couple of times a year and pop in on everyone else on the way to the airport. They live in the West Country and everyone else in the home counties.

My two are my mum's only biological grandchildren. The grandchildren as a whole range in ages from 2 months to 23. My dsf freely admits that he's never been close to his grandchildren and I worry a lot that will rub off on my mum because mine are the youngest and they don't have any flights booked or any plans to see any of the others as far as I know. I feel better that they see less of the others than mine even though they live in the same country. They've missed out on events my dsb wanted them at an spend Xmas on their own for example.

My ils live in the same country as us and quite close. They have dd one day a week and visit us for a couple of hours over the weekend every week. This is perfect for me. But they don't seem to be as interested in ds as they are with dd.

I have to accept all of it though it's just the way it is.

I live 500 miles away from my grandson (now 5). When he was born I visited to see him the same week. After than I visited for a week every month as I wanted to establish a bond with him. I have also looked after him when parents on holiday or at work. Loved it. Now he is at school it isn't quite so easy to have time with him other than school holidays yet I still visit fairly often, every couple of months and my son brings my grandson up to me for a weekend usually fitting in with a rugby match and also to see his brother and family.
Visits depend on circumstances. I am able to travel and that helps.

My parents live about 3 hours away including a ferry and we see them at least every school holiday, tend to take it in turns but we go to them more often now as they are getting older and they live by the sea so feels like a holiday! My PIL are about 11/2 away and probably only 4 times a year (says it all)!