Child maintenance.

[TwatbadgingCuntfuckery]

So I'll try to keep this as simple as poss.

DC does not see their dad. Zero contact in almost a decade.

Ex first refused to pay maintenance. I went to the CSA.

CSA made an award.

Ex still refused to pay consistently for nearly a year. Maintenance was paid in tiny amounts here and there.

Finally the CSA appiled an attachment to earnings and I regularly revived the awarded maintenance.

Zero problems for a year then ex changed jobs. Refused to hand over details of new employer. By luck friend (agency worker) worked where he was working told me the company. (Ex has a unusual name so easy to identify. Basically he is the only person I have met with that first name) I passed those on.

Another attachment to earnings was applied and, as far as I know, is still very much in place because the maintenance arrives the same date every month.

Now, my claim is being switched over to the CMS. I have to reapply.

The CMS are trying to persuade me to set up an agreement with EX and essentially allow EX to pay directly into my account.

I am not happy with this. Firstly I don't let anyone have my bank details and certainly wouldn't let someone who is now a complete stranger. I do not know my EX not where he lives so...

AIBU to insist on the CMS collecting and sending me the maintenance?

I have been told I am vindictive because it will cost the ex more to pay. I will have to pay too, of course. He will have to pay approx £40 rather than the current £30 and I will have to pay £3. Though I suspect this will be more given the recent increase in the minimum wage.

Without wanting to drip feed The reason I broke up with the EX was because he was emotionally abusive - tried to control me, used past parental abuse against me and I later found out he was regularly using drugs inc speed, weed and acid to cope at work. I do not want him back in my life nor do I trust him with bank details.

You don't have to give him your bank details. He would pay them and they would pass the money to you surely?

There are 3 levels. Mutual agreement without CMS involvement but you use their calculator to work out amount. No one pays any fees.

Agreement that the CMS works out and EX pays into my account. No one pays any fees.

Or agreement that CMS works out and ex pays CMS who then pass it onto me minus their fees.

They are pushing for the no fees option and I have a feeling EX will kick up a fuss and demand the no fee option too.

Ah I get you now. Is there a way you could get a separate account for maintenance to go in to? Just a very basic account? Sorry I don't know if that will make a world of difference but it's just a suggestion. Are you worried that if he has your bank details he might do something malicious like set up direct debits to annoy you etc..?

Open up a new basic account at different bank to where u hold your accounts and give those details.

He has proven himself unwilling to pay, I wouldn't be putting myself out opening new bank accounts for this twat.

He has caused this issue himself op.

I don't want to open a new account and even with a new account I do not want anyone to have those details. I'm fiercely protective of my financial data since the ex left me with a lot of debts. That's why I don't want him having any of my details.

I have no problem with paying the fees. Non at all.

the bank details you'd need to give only let him pay in money he wouldn't be able to do anything else so that's a bit of a non-issue, however his past history of paying isn't great, perhaps try the no-fee route but if he misses a payment then switch?

I have the same problem though our case is still with csa. My problem is csa told ex partner that i would be happy with seeing how direct pay goes and if he makes consistent payments for 6 months then he can pay into my account, i didnt agree and point blank refused to let him because i know as soon as i agree the money will stop. Dont let them tell you what to do if your happy with how its going then why change? Hes only unhappy because he has to pay a higher fee.

Leopard12 they do let you try but i had the same issue before and my ex missed 3 months payment due to them taking ages to set it all back up again and during that time he quit his job, they literally couldnt find him.

CMS would rather everyone have private agreements in place for maintenance. Great in theory except a lot of dads will refuse to pay. If you are happy with the arrangement as it is then tell them that. Don't let them force you into something you're not happy with.

Ah fair enough. If you're happy with the fee option then I would go for that one. He'll just have to roll with it no matter how much aggro he might give you. I think go for that one if that's the one you feel most comfortable with and will guarantee you getting the money.

Bitchqueen90 exactly. How am I supposed to have a private agreement with someone when I don't know where they live?

he won't hand over that information then how can I be expected to hand over account details?

I'm standing firm when Calling the CMS over my plan to proceed with the fee paying option. I just don't need the monthly hassle. It would be worse than dealing with a period to call the CMS up every month over non-payment.