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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder what the hell I did?

71 replies

inlovewithhubby · 05/05/2016 14:24

Bit of back story. I took vol redundancy after going back with both girls. It was by choice but I had returned after my second to find my job given to a bloke so it was a bit of a push too. Took ages to 'grieve' my working life, and I was quite lonely just with my two under two so tried to break into mum groups. Toddler group in next village was quite cliquey, but I volunteered, helped with toy cleans, helped organise fundraisers etc, and was welcomed by some. It was bloody hard work though. Ended up starting a toddler group closer to home instead which is much friendlier and more welcoming.

One woman at that group was always sour faced with me. She had also given up work recently so I presumed she was dealing with her own shit or busy with her kids or just not particularly sociable, though she was very sociable within her small clique. I see her regularly in passing on school runs but it's in a group and often acknowledge group as a whole or chat to another mum. Saw this girl just now when with my youngest near shops and said hi - and she literally just blanked me. There is no question she saw me as we made eye contact and she then made a sour face and walked on. I may have laughed off but my daughter said 'why didn't she say hello mummy?' and I had no answer! I'm pretty thick skinned and know I won't be friends with everyone but I'd never be impolite and this feels awfully playground. On period so perhaps a bit emosh and overthinking it, but aibu to think I don't deserve such bloody unprovoked rudeness?

OP posts:

Paulat2112 · 05/05/2016 14:28

Jealousy on her part?

puglife15 · 05/05/2016 14:32

My husband often blanks people as his eyesight is crap, possibility?

Or more likely, you did nothing wrong and she's just a dick.

Original poster

inlovewithhubby · 05/05/2016 14:42

No jealousy - she was like that with me from the get go when she'd only just met me. And not the eyes either unfortunately - she was right next to me today. The sisterhood is alive and well...

OP posts:

gobbynorthernbird · 05/05/2016 14:46

Why should she say hello to you? For whatever reason she doesn't want to be your friend.

PirateSmile · 05/05/2016 14:49

Honestly gobby ? You think it's fine to ignore somebody who's just said hello to you

AndTakeYourPenguinWithYou · 05/05/2016 14:49

You don't sound that thick skinned. People have their own lives and friends, and its not all about you. Most likely she didn't notice you.

You sound paranoid and a bit prickly.

MrHeavenSent · 05/05/2016 14:50

gobby Why should she say hello to you? Because it's basic common courtesy and not to do so would make you a rude horribly fucking cunt. Even if this woman doesn't want to be friends, a smile or a nod to acknowledge OP's existence isn't really much to ask given that they see each other at children's group.

Original poster

inlovewithhubby · 05/05/2016 14:50

Gobby - Because I said hello to her? She was too close not to and she'd eyeballed me. Takes more effort not to and makes a point, for no reason and I wouldn't want to do that. I don't necessarily want to be friends with the postman, the lady who serves me in tesco or the little old lady who chats to me on the street, but we live in a civilised society and we do it because social mores dictate that we pass the time of day with fellow humans. Picking out some to except from these rules is odd and rude, especially when the same person applies them perfectly well to other people.

I've no desire to be her friend, I have plenty of them. I just don't get why people are deliberately mean or rude for no apparent reason.

OP posts:

ToastDemon · 05/05/2016 14:50

I think blanking people outright for no reason is extremely rude, even if you don't want to be friends with them.

AndTakeYourPenguinWithYou · 05/05/2016 14:52

Because it's basic common courtesy and not to do so would make you a rude horribly fucking cunt

Wow, if thats what you call people who fail to greet you, I'm guessing few people do. You're nuts.

PirateSmile · 05/05/2016 14:54

I think I've fallen into a parallel universe! People are calling the OP rude and nuts

Original poster

inlovewithhubby · 05/05/2016 14:56

'Rude horribly fucking cunt' description made me giggle - I love it. Clearly Heaven wouldn't say this in real life Pengin, but it would be fucking liberating if one could.

OP posts:

gobbynorthernbird · 05/05/2016 14:58

Actually, I do think it's fine to ignore someone when you've already made it perfectly clear that you don't want to be their friend.

situatedknowledge · 05/05/2016 14:59

YANBU but maybe she is actually painfully shy? Outward appearances might suggest otherwise, but you never know... And I don't think you are either rude, or nuts btw!

Original poster

inlovewithhubby · 05/05/2016 15:00

Gobby northern bird - jesus, you ARE her!!!

OP posts:

AndTakeYourPenguinWithYou · 05/05/2016 15:01

I think I've fallen into a parallel universe! People are calling the OP rude and nuts

No, they are calling the clearly nuts poster who responded nuts.

It wouldn't be liberating, it would be ridiculous and offensive and make sure most people would cross the road to avoid you.

Seriously, the fucking irony of calling people who don't say hello to you fucking cunts and you thinking that THEY are the rude ones. Looked in a fucking mirror lately, Rudey McNutsy?

MangoBiscuit · 05/05/2016 15:02

Oooh I'd have done that horrid loud parenting thing in your shoes.
"Why didn't she say hello Mummy?"
"I don't know darling. That was very rude of her wasn't it? We shouldn't ignore people like that."
DD2 would then chirp "HOW WOOOOD!" as taught by DD1.

Playduh · 05/05/2016 15:02

Just to muddy the waters; I can be that cunt sometimes.

I'm currently blanking a couple of women at Creche because I'm mad

One is a lady I went on a few play dates with but we absolutely had fuck all in common. The contact fizzled and now she's suddenly at pick up and drop off a couple of times a week. I know I should at least say hi but now I'm just too embarrassed.

The second lady I'm also an idiot about. Id love to be mates with her but she's just really cool and I feel like a useless twit around her, it's dumb because useless twit is the last thing my mates would say to describe me.

BUT - I got binned from work whilst I was on mat leave too and my confidence is in the toilet.

It's too late for these woman, they must think I'm a cunt by now. But I will start going to a toddler group very soon and I will be nice and friendly and come home convinced that the women there are only nice to me out of pity

LaContessaDiPlump · 05/05/2016 15:02

It's not unreasonable to expect people to say hello back if you say hello to them.... I'd call it basic social courtesy myself!

Expecting a subsequent conversation would be unreasonable, but a simple greeting is pretty standard.

timeforabrewnow · 05/05/2016 15:03

You sound paranoid and a bit prickly.

Really ???

I think the OP has her rude 'friend' right here on Mumsnet - dishing out some more of whatever it is. Oh I know - it's called 'being rude'

AndTakeYourPenguinWithYou · 05/05/2016 15:05

Yes, paranoid....oh what did I do, why does this person not like me, me me me me.

It's so arrogant: everyone must like me, everyone must talk to me, they are not allowed to not want to or they are a cunt.

God, exhausting.

Playduh · 05/05/2016 15:06

Just to confirm however, if either of the ladies mentioned above actually said hello to me, I'd def smile, say hi and at least try conversation toes curled the whole time.

Complete acknowledgment and blank age is a bit cheeky, even for me.

Becky546 · 05/05/2016 15:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 05/05/2016 15:08

some people are fuckinhg arsehole cunts and its often the school mums that display such unparalleled nasty behaviour, sorry but true

maybe as she does not work any more she has forgotton how to be fucking civil?

ToastDemon · 05/05/2016 15:10

Wow penguins that's a big pile of projection you've managed there!

There's a massive difference between expecting everyone to like you and thinking the world revolves around you, and being a bit put out that someone has randomly been a rude bastard to you.

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