To be annoyed with familys comments re toddlers weight

[springhasprung]

Every time I see certain family members they feel the need to comment on how 'solid' my 19 month old dd is and how much she likes her food.

She's a healthy, normal toddler who eats a good and varied diet. It's getting a bit much now and last night I snapped. I just find it a bit hypocritical as my cousin's 12 year old is actually obese!

What an arse. You can't judge baby's at that age. They mostly all start off chubby. Tell her to hop it and feed her kid some fucking salad. Baby's weight will drop off soon.

I had this but my child was solid and loved her food but in my case the comments were not made out of malice do I took them the way they were intended.

If I felt they were meant spitefully then that would be different

Maybe they mean it affectionately. Toddlers can be chubby, it's part of their charm, perhaps they think they're being nice. I take it the family members in question are the obese 12yo's parents?

Either way I wouldn't take it personally.

I don't think there's any malice in it but at the same time it doesn't feel affectionate either. It's mainly my aunties who make comments and then my cousin's agree and say how she hurts their arms when they pick her up. One of my cousin's is pregnant and despite having a 5 year old and a 3 year old who she picks up regularly, refuses to lift dd because she's too heavy. It's ridiculous.

My Sil has the same problem. Her 18 month old weights the same as her 3 (nearly four) year old. They are totally different builds. The older is tall and skinny and the younger is short and stocky.

But in my sils case, she often jokes about it herself and comments on it. So other people though it was fine to mention it. Then Sil snapped. No one mentions it now, even though she still posts memes of over weight children and puts her dds name on it with laughing emojis.

It's not something I would do as I was uncomfortable even when she did it.

Have you made jokes about it at all? And that's made them think it wouldn't bother you?

Solid, bonny and 'well covered' was how ds was described. It was always said with love and affection and no hint of criticism. My family liked that he didn't look like he'd fall over in a gust of wind. A lady in the shop said "oooh, I love babies' and toddlers' rubber band wrists!" I'd never heard of that before but it made me smile. The one thing that did piss me off though was mil. We were waiting for lunch in a pub and ds had some raisins to keep him going and stop him whinging. Her comment: "How many packets of raisins has he had?! No wonder he has chubby wrists!" He ate all his lunch too. He's 5 now and more slight in his build, definitely no weight issues and one of the most athletic and energetic kids in his class. Still loves his food!

It happens with older DC too. My aunt keeps talking about DD 8 having "a bit of a belly", she's on the 90th centile for height and weight, so in proportion. It's hurtful to me, (she never says it in front of DD) it's bollocks and I wish she'd STFU.

I do find a swift oh do fuck off dear enough of that thank you to be most helpful in situations such as these

Out if interest, Is the 12 yo a girl or boy?

Everyone says my 2 yr old DS is a chunk and loves his food, it's true! He was hard to carry when he was younger and people commented on it. But the comments come from people who adore my son and say it affectionately so I don't mind at all. If there is history then I can imagine how you would find the comments hurtful. It all depends how it's said and who by..