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AIBU?

close to death giving birth...

330 replies

ghostspirit · 05/05/2016 09:58

im coming up 38 weeks pregnant. me and bf was talking generally about the birth. im having home birth and was telling him how midwife was saying how if i have to be transfered to hospital it could take upto 30 mins for an ambulance... he said thats rubbish they would get it there within a few mins or so. Then he started going on about how when you give birth your very close to death. of course i know there is a risk when giving birth. i said you can say that about alot of things there are risks in everything. i was trying to tone it down a bit. but he kept going on. it pissed me of because its not something i really want to hear when im not far of giving birth. so was he being unreasonble to be saying them things or am i being over sensitive

OP posts:

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splendide · 05/05/2016 14:38

That sounds awful Teal, glad you're here to tell the tale.

bluecarpet · 05/05/2016 14:45

from that study:

Most individual perinatal outcomes were rare, and adjusted odds ratios could not be estimated because of the small numbers of events

which is what I said before - even a huge study like that with over 60,000 women is not powered enough to detect rare complications that are catastrophic.

Yes, most low risk multips will be fine at home (except of course the OP isn't low risk, by definition, as a grand multip). But I didn't care about most people when I was having my baby - I cared about me on that day and the importance of having people around who knew what they were doing (and machines that go ping!) in the event of a rare complication.

I'm glad it worked out for you - you are a rare beast being a doctor and having a planned home birth! - but I still don't understand the decision.

TealLove · 05/05/2016 14:55

Splendide thank you. It was awful but I'm still here unlike my poor grandma, thanks to those amazing doctors and modern medicine x

ghostspirit · 05/05/2016 15:12

Someone on page 3 said about ending up giving birth in the car. Which could happen. And no one would be there to help. At leaSt at home there would be someone there. Medication etc.

OP posts:

UmbongoUnchained · 05/05/2016 15:15

would you say that for every home birth?

Yes. I think it's incredibly selfish thing to do. There's nothing at all beneficial to the baby by being born at home. It's purely for the mothers own wants.

ghostspirit · 05/05/2016 15:17

Ok I guess some people are pro home birth some are not.

OP posts:

splendide · 05/05/2016 15:21

There's nothing beneficial to the baby by being born in hospital either - if you're low risk the overall risk to health is about the same.

CountessOfStrathearn · 05/05/2016 15:26

"There's nothing at all beneficial to the baby by being born at home."

That's not the case. There are significant risks of an assisted delivery or C-section to the baby. Clearly these need to be done sometimes very appropriately but it is very interesting that even starting as a home birth and then being transferred in during labour still has a lower risk of assisted delivery and C-section.

"Most individual perinatal outcomes were rare, and adjusted odds ratios could not be estimated because of the small numbers of events"

Which is (thankfully given that childbirth in this country is so very safe) why a composite primary end point was used.

UmbongoUnchained · 05/05/2016 15:27

Of course there's benefit to bring born in a hospital. My daughter would have been dead in a matter of minutes of we weren't at the hospital.

splendide · 05/05/2016 15:29

But Umbongo if that was the case (benefit to babies born in hospital) why is infant mortality not higher for home births?

CountessOfStrathearn · 05/05/2016 15:30

That all sounds very traumatic and I'm sorry to hear of someone who has experienced that.

However, we can't predict things on an individual level. We have to do and use studies on a population level as anecdotes don't give us data. On a population level (all low risk mothers between April 2008-April 2010), home births were no more dangerous to the mother than MW unit/obstetric units and no more dangerous to the baby for multiparous mothers. (There is a small increased risk for the baby's of first time mothers.)

ghostspirit · 05/05/2016 15:32

just had a thought. i have been adviced what to do if baby comes/is coming before anyone arrives. i have been told to call 999. as they will be faster than midwifes as they have their blue lights and can be with you fast... so then how comes if the baby is coming they will be here like asap. but if its a transfer it takes 30 mins. the hospital in 10 mins by car.

OP posts:

UmbongoUnchained · 05/05/2016 15:33

splendide

I don't know I just know it really doesn't make sense to me why anyone would want to take that kind of risk to their baby. It would definitely change my view of a friend if they decided to do that.

CountessOfStrathearn · 05/05/2016 15:35

It will depend on the reason for the transfer how long it takes for the ambulance to come and if an ambulance is nearby and available. Sometimes mothers will need a blue light transfer unfortunately and then they will try to be with you as soon as they can in that situation as well.

Having a baby on the roadside with no help is generally thought to be worse than an unplanned unassisted home birth, so if the baby is coming, I'd call 999 and your midwives and they will both come as soon as they can.

RandomBecauseFuckJournos7 · 05/05/2016 15:36

i have been told to call 999. as they will be faster than midwifes as they have their blue lights and can be with you fast... so then how comes if the baby is coming they will be here like asap. but if its a transfer it takes 30 mins. the hospital in 10 mins by car.

Because the midwife will sometimes take longer than 30 minutes.

CountessOfStrathearn · 05/05/2016 15:37

umbongo, surely you can see that part of your risk perception is because of your (terrible and understandably) difficult experience. It isn't held up by the data though and the data says that there is (for second time + mothers) no "kind of risk to their baby".

Furiosa · 05/05/2016 15:37

I was low risk with my first pregnancy and my MW suggested a HB. I was all for it but as I live in a flat where neighbours can hear each other sneeze I opted for the MLU. Luckily I did as my placenta was retained and I was bleeding heavily. Straight to surgery which was just upstairs.

My second pregnancy was also fine and while I was still low risk a consultant I spoke to wasn't happy about the placenta being stuck again. So I went MLU again. DD had to be taken straight to SBCU with polycythaemia.

I hated my time in the hospital so I know why women want HB but even low risk pregnancies can go from 0 to 10 on the scary scale during labour and delivery.

Out2pasture · 05/05/2016 15:39

Do as you please but it only takes 3 minutes of oxygen deprivation to cause permanent brain damage to the baby.

splendide · 05/05/2016 15:39

Well I had a home birth Umbongo but hopefully none of my friends are innumerate enough to think I was taking a risk with my baby.

UmbongoUnchained · 05/05/2016 15:40

count

No I felt just as strongly about it before my daughter was born.

bluecarpet · 05/05/2016 15:40

no more dangerous to the baby for multiparous mothers

within the limitation that you'd need a much much bigger study to actually prove that because of the rarity of the complication.

this paper doesn't prove that home births are as safe as hospital births for perinatal outcomes. there will probably never be a study big enough to do that.

ghostspirit · 05/05/2016 15:40

countless yes thats what i will do. theres no way im risking getting in the car.

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splendide · 05/05/2016 15:41

I'm trying really hard to stay polite but it's really really annoying that people are refusing to accept the numbers.

Could the people who think home births are irresponsible clarify whether they don't believe the studies or haven't read them or think they are being wrongly understood?

UmbongoUnchained · 05/05/2016 15:44

splendide

No I haven't read the studies but it's not exactly difficult to figure out that if something happens to your baby that things go very wrong very quick and the safest place to be is in a hospital.

There are 4 paramedics in my family. They know exactly what happens when a home birth goes wrong.

splendide · 05/05/2016 15:45

Right, apparently it is difficult to figure out because there is no evidence that a hospital is safer.

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