to put this in my reply?

[creampie]

At the risk of outing myself I've changed a few details but the jist is the same.

I teach med students. One of their projects is a tutorial in which they interview real patients in a class room setting. This week is dementia week and I had a gentleman patient and his wife attend.

One of the female students arrived wearing an outfit that looked like she'd just come from the gym, Lycra leggings and neon racer back vest. They are more than aware that these are real patients, not actors, and that a degree of professionalism is required.

I should have turned her away but these are mandatory and she would have been in trouble with her tutor so I let it slide.

When it was her turn to interview the man made a few inappropriate comments. Nothing awful, no swearing, but along the lines of "you'll never drown" and "I can almost see what you had for breakfast"

I intervened and sent her back to her seat.

She has now formally complained about the patients attitude and that I embarrassed her in front of the class. I simply said, let's call it a day there, you can return to your seat. Nothing more.

I am livid. The formal reply I've written is along the lines of sorry you were embarrassed, but what the fuck do you expect if you have the disrespect to turn up dressed like that. Only in flowerier terms, obviously. I can't believe she's got the audacity and lack of insight to complain about this.

I really want to send it. However, I'm concerned some PC person in HR will accuse me of victim blaming. Would IBU to send this? What would you do?

It sounds positive OP. Now you're on the right track it's time to get this thread deleted.

Oh Kurri my heart broke a bit reading your post. You are completely right in pointing out that 'disinhibition' implies that the thought has always been there but it's only now been let out, when in fact it can cause new thoughts to appear. I have seen that mortified look on relatives patients and had them come to me in tears saying that 'that's not their dad" or mom.

I certainly don't think a training scenario should be continued just to give the Med student a learning opportunity. If it was upsetting the wife it needed to stop - he is getting no benefit from it (c.f. If he was in A&E where she'd have to persist).

He has dementia. In her profession she will need to learn how to handle patients with this condition. She seems incredibly ignorant and unsuited to the job. YANBU.

creampie I am so glad to hear this. Let us know what she decides my money is on withdrawing the complaint.

When I was a 1st year med student (age 18yrs) and meeting patients for the first time I wore a skirt that was too short (I was otherwise smartly dressed). I didn't have many formal clothes and just hadn't thought. A nice female registrar took me to one side and had a word. It was very embarrassing but a very good lesson. I didn't need to be told twice!

I think you did the right thing terminating the interview. The poor man's wife must have felt very uncomfortable. sadly it may put them off helping again. It sounds to me like this student needs to have a careful think about how to handle these types of situations as they are not uncommon in medicine.

Good to know the OP and the tutor seem to have a grip on things (unlike the student in question!).

Hopefully the tutor will (in a professional and appropriate manner) tell her to buck her ideas up and behave better!