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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Reception aged kids in pushchairs?

257 replies

RequestInUse · 04/05/2016 15:18

Maybe I just have my judgy pants on, maybe they have a really long walk. But AIBU to think school aged children are generally too old for a pushchair?

OP posts:
SpiritedLondon · 04/05/2016 22:50

Lots of very defensive answers on here. I live very close to a school and I don't think I've seen any school kids being pushed in buggies thankfully. Lots are driven ( often badly) but the rest walk, are on scooters or on the back of push bikes. I have previously wondered about older children in buggies and I would bet that many of them do not have disabilities or health issues preventing them from walking. A family friend used to push her daughter and admitted she couldn't stand walking slowly and it was quicker to push. We abandoned our pushchair when my daughter was 2.5 or 3 although there have been a number of shoulder rides when she got tired. Now she's good on the scooter I try and leave the car home as much as possible.

ImNotThatGirl · 04/05/2016 22:51

Alexa Is this child USA based?

LilacSpunkMonkey · 04/05/2016 22:52

I would advise people report any posts on this thread that go against the 'Every Child' campaign.

Posts dismissing SEN are not on and are not supportive of parents, which is purpose if the site.

SpiritedLondon · 04/05/2016 22:57

Ps my sister teaches reception and she's had kids rocking up who use dummies and are still in nappies ( no, they don't have SEN), can't use a knife and fork, do up zips or buttons etc etc. Bit hard to understand the rational reason for all that!

ouryve · 04/05/2016 23:03

I'm glad this has been picked up on, but I do challenge anyone to walk 1km up hill facing into gale force winds with a big 7 year old hanging over the side of a mac major, watching the wheels, and then decide that's the "lazy" option.

honkinghaddock · 04/05/2016 23:03

Why is not seeing school children pushed in buggies something to be thankful about? Why not be thankful that your daughter is able to walk to school and ride a scooter.

LilacSpunkMonkey · 04/05/2016 23:04

My youngest was in nappies until he was 4. He still wets the bed at night ocasionally. He's almost 8. Was still going down the stairs two feet to a step until last year. He still gets his food everywhere. No SEN. Just getting there in his own sweet time. As long as he has it all covered eventually I couldn't give a shit. He's happy, healthy and academically ahead of himself.

There were children who started at my school in nappies, couldn't do zips, couldn't use cutlery.

And? They're all picking it up as they go along.

Big fucking deal.

Samcro · 04/05/2016 23:11

oh dear I have put my judgy pants on
I judge the goady fuckers who start threads on mn that they know will hurt.

ouryve · 04/05/2016 23:17

Both of mine have ASD

DS1 "smirks" at all sorts of weird shit. If you've watched Eve on CBBC and seen how her eyes flick from left to right as she'sprocessing information - well "smirk" is DS1's "processing" signal.

DS2 actively giggles at things that unnerve him. This, unsurprisingly confuses not only DS1, but ed psychs. It only clicks into place with the latter when I point out that it's a nervous giggle.

Inappropriate emotional response is part of the criteria for ASD diagnosis.

neighbourhoodwoes · 04/05/2016 23:19

My (sen) dd was at school 9miles away with a ten minute walk TO the train station and then a 20 minute up hill walk from the station to school. No car.

She has very low muscle tone and leg pain as a result so yes we sometimes used a pushchair.

ouryve · 04/05/2016 23:22

When a child is told he can't play with the playdoh as it is hometime and proceeds to mash it into the carpet with a shiteating smirk and then shrug still grinning and say "dunno, why I did it. Couldn't help it, could I" I feel pretty safe in saying he did in fact know what he was doing and that he could get away with it.

Wrong, Alexa. See my post above.

DS1 has some scorched earth tendencies with stuff. Yes, we can try to educate him about better options and working with his conscious self to over-ride his angry subconscious, but I do believe him when he insists he can't help something. He has a lot more to over-ride than we do when he is upset by a transition (ie home time) or something else that disappoints him.

ouryve · 04/05/2016 23:23

Also agree that part of the autistic condition is being really crap at bullshit :o

MrsDeVere · 04/05/2016 23:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OptimisticSix · 04/05/2016 23:32

I still used a pushcahir with one of mine when they were four as not only would they get really tired but I had a baby and this particular 4 year old was fond of running off if given a chance. She thought it was hilarious, I found it less so!!! That said my youngest was never in a pushchair after 3 but that's because he's the little engine that can. If he'd have been tired (we have over a mile, closer to two if we walk the school run) he would have been.

Samcro · 04/05/2016 23:34

where is MN HQ and the link to the (agist) link to the TIMC campaign ?

Machine123 · 04/05/2016 23:39

My ds is 3 years and 2 months old but very tall for his age. He looks like a five year old in a pushchair and I keep having to explain to judgey pants like you that he's only 3. So annoying Angry

SpiritedLondon · 04/05/2016 23:50

Well people are going to think these things, there's not much you can do to change that but I think it's a bit much to go up and say something to someone. Pretty rude.

Baconyum · 04/05/2016 23:52

Ffs anyone else thinking that when new members sign up they need reminding to think before they post?!

When it's considered ALL the possible reasons for this

Sen
Musculoskeletal conditions
Conditions affecting metabolism (so they tire easily eg diabetes)
Conditions affecting energy in other ways (eg heart condition, cancer)
Phobias
Behavioural disorders not aligned with sen (eg foster/adopted children having a higher tendency to run off if startled)

Then include possible issues the parent (or even grandparent) might have.
Ms
Mnd
Arthritis
Send of their own
Mental illness
Phobias

Which is WHY you don't assume or judge.

Frankly I'm amazed we don't see it more!

My mum had early onset arthritis and so my little sister was in her buggy more than I was as mum was partly using as a sort of summer frame and partly as it meant she wasn't having to run after my sister in pain.

I've also friends with
Ms
Mild CP
A heart condition

Where their child using a buggy helps keep their health better.

Baconyum · 04/05/2016 23:54

Flaming autocorrect! Mn EDIT BUTTON!!!!

Sen of their own (parents)
Mum was using buggy as a sort of Zimmer frame!

SpiritedLondon · 05/05/2016 00:11

What's being a new member got to do with it? How do you even know someone's a new member? I think if it's called AIBU and you pose a question asking AIBU about a matter then you either agree or disagree. The fact that you disagree is no reason for the OP not to pose the question.... Or have I missed something?

ChocolateStash · 05/05/2016 00:40

YABU. It is none of your business. Focus on your own life. I hope your judgy pants don't fall down or everyone on mn will judge you and laugh loudly Grin

Baconyum · 05/05/2016 00:46

Spirited London that was as much to protect the OP from a flaming as anything else. There are certain things that have been discussed as nauseum on mn and are likely to get a certain response particularly if opinion voiced in a judgmental/prejudiced way. This is one of them.

I wouldn't want anyone put off posting when they really needed support or help from what can be a fabulously insightful and well informed community because they posted something without thinking first so I think it would be useful if mnhq had a wee advisory to the effect of 'before posting consider the response you might get if it's judgmental'.

We already have the talk guidelines (which BTW are not required reading before posting) but this could be added to them.

Coffeecreamers · 05/05/2016 00:51

To be fair, when my DD was in reception she was only a few weeks away from being 3 years old. When we walked the 1.3 miles home, it changed from what should be a 20-30 minute journey to a 50 minute journey because she dawdled and was tired. If someone has to do that everyday, I do not blame them for them taking a buggy.

Mislou · 05/05/2016 01:54

Where I live children start school at 5 so at 4, yes, I know parents and Nannys that use them instead of a car. Often it's useful to put all the beach/swimming stuff in and the child gets to have a nap on the walk home .Some kids are still napping at 4, one boy I know asks his carer if he can get in the buggy after lunch for a little sleep when we're at the beach.

Jenny70 · 05/05/2016 02:14

We used a pushchair "late" but it wasn't that DS couldn't/wouldn't walk the distance, it was the time it took him to walk it. I had 2 children in different schools and had only 10mins to do a 15min brisk walk. He couldn't keep pace, and it was stressing us both out to be hurrying him constantly and then still being late to second pickup.

It was much more relaxing to push him in stroller, chat to him and his sister whilst brisking walking/jogging to next school.

Whatever makes life work is fine, in my book.