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AIBU?

To take DS's toys to the charity shops without him knowing??

87 replies

redgiraffe · 03/05/2016 12:04

I live in a 2 bed flat with 3yo DS and 2mo DS. Our flat has been getting smaller and smaller over the years with an influx of toys at Christmas and birthdays and also clothes etc for the boys.

I am sick to the back teeth of tripping over toys etc and it came to a head today when I tripped over a toy and fell into a chest of drawers and promptly burst into tears as I'm so fed up of my house being a bloody obstacle course and bursting at the seams.

DH has been wanting to get rid of a lot of older DS's plastic tat i.e. a car garage that is rarely played with, a bubble car that he used to love but is huge in our place! Also a jcb ride on thing amongst other things. I've always said no as they're his toys but it's ridiculous now and I'm ready to do a big clear out when he's at nursery without him knowing.

AIBU??

OP posts:

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redgiraffe · 03/05/2016 20:29

Okay, I'm even more confused now! So many different ways of doing things!

OP posts:

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startingtolooklikemother · 03/05/2016 20:47

We were in the process of selling our house and put 2 big boxes of toys away in the garage to ensure it looked tidy when we had viewings. DS who is 3 never noticed, Anyway after 6 months they are still in the garage and will be soon be enjoying the charity shop

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MakingJudySmile · 03/05/2016 20:56

Honestly redgiraffe there are many different ways of doing it. You don't have the space for all you have so you'll need to do it your way - which is give all the stuff he doesn't play with to the charity shop

Do you have anywhere you can put them for a few days? Be it under a sheet in your room or in your car? If you do then store them there for 5 days, if he's not noticed them gone during that period then off they go.

I can honestly say he's not going to need therapy or end up appearing on Channel 4 in 2056.

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sizeofalentil · 03/05/2016 21:12

I hate to be that person, but, my parents would do this to me all the time and now I am a total hoarder. I had toys that were special so I'd either put them back in the box or put them away after playing with them and without a fail my parents would throw them out.

Going to sleep or to see my nan became traumatising because I'd never know if my toys would be there when I next checked.

Talk to him and either explain you want to give it to little children who don't have nice toys of their own, or do a car boot with him and give him the money earned.

Taking your child's toys behind their back teaches them that their possessions aren't safe and breeds insecurity.

Seriously, I now own 18 dining chairs. If 18 people ever come over I'm making them each take one home as a party favour.

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FunnysInLaJardin · 03/05/2016 21:14

we have an attic for this eventuality. Its like the toy shop that keeps on giving according to DS2

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MakingJudySmile · 03/05/2016 21:16

What your parents did is wrong sizeofalentil but it's different to a occasional clearing of the surplus unplayed with toys.

I'm in need of a few chairs though...

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sizeofalentil · 03/05/2016 23:15

MakingJudySmile - you only have my version of what happened though. If you'd asked them they would say that's exactly what they were doing. I truly think removing toys without explaining to the child teaches them bad habits eg. Piles of junk will suddenly vanish, no need to take responsibility for your own mess, and takes away autonomy. It's far better to explain to them that's there's no more room and they can either prune their collection or never have anything new again because there's just no space.

You want some of my chairs? Take a seat!

I had three sofas at one point too,: told dh it was because I had a suite tooth.

(He didn't find it funny and I sold two of them when we moved)

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MakingJudySmile · 03/05/2016 23:22

True, but a once off at the age of 3 wouldn't be the same. Certainly not with toys the OP knows he doesn't play with.

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PattiLevin · 03/05/2016 23:27

Ds's friend's mum put all his stuff on EBay on pick up only and involved him in the process. Apparently he loved giving the stuff and getting his pound coins that he spent on some such bollocks. Might be an idea for later on but right now I reckon you can get away with just getting rid.

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PattiLevin · 03/05/2016 23:28

Not, like, ALL his stuff....sorry just finished work drank wine >.

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UterusUterusGhali · 03/05/2016 23:40

Suite tooth!

Do you have parents nearby that have space?
I started taking the big stuff my mum got them back to hers to keep there. It meant the dc had stuff there to play with and sort of highlighted how a big present was a bit much for my space, without seeming ungrateful.

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GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 06/05/2016 17:46

sizeofalentil do you think perhaps you already had hoarder tendencies as a child and that's why your parents de cluttered in your absence? I have one DC who is already that way about toys and clothes at 8. She refuses to allow us to redecorate her baby room.