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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder where the 'Have I been stood up' thread has gone?

87 replies

PollyPerky · 02/05/2016 07:59

Has it been taken down?

OP posts:
PaulAnkaTheDog · 02/05/2016 11:35

What was your thread about gingergenie? There are certain topics that ping the troll radar, particularly in first time posters. Glad you stuck with mumsnet though!

SaidTheActress · 02/05/2016 11:45

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 02/05/2016 11:55

Not true at all Actress. That comment was completely unnecessary.

WellErrr · 02/05/2016 11:58

Was it?
Thinking objectively? I can think of a few others though, who I won't name.

The place seems to be getting nastier at the moment and it's a shame. Maybe it's the weather.

CaptainCrunch · 02/05/2016 12:02

Oh the irony actress. I've reported your nasty, name calling, goady post.Grin

Ifiwasabadger · 02/05/2016 12:07

I would just like to say that I have never had a deletion message when a thread disappears...I only use the app. Is that why?

firesidechat · 02/05/2016 12:08

I'm not sure what you mean about 'got the deletion message'? Those messages are only up for a short amount of time - I think MNHQ say they give posters 30 minutes warning before they pull a thread. ( that's my experience of other threads that are pulled) so no, I didn't see it- I was out for part of the day. That's maybe just why I posted this today, eh?

The message is still there op, for all to see and it basically says that the op of that thread was a troll.

Waitingfordolly · 02/05/2016 13:35

I don't see deletion messages on the app, but I do on my computer. I've no idea where PMs are either I realise!

Maryz · 02/05/2016 14:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Waitingfordolly · 02/05/2016 14:07

Yeah there is TIO on the app but the threads just disappear completely.

gingergenie · 02/05/2016 14:12

Paulanka it was a post about the fact that my DP had received a disgusting comment about a famous musician who had died. I expressed my disgust at said comment and called DP for not saying something to this client about how obnoxious his comment was. DP commented that is was a client and thus he couldn't afford to lose the business. I disagreed. Slept on the sofa. It was a funny old night x

Follyfoot · 02/05/2016 14:12

Polly... When you post on a thread, it's added to your 'watched conversations'. It stays on there. If the thread is added to you'll see the new messages above yours. If it's deleted, you will see a deletion message from MNHQ.

I dont think that's necessarily sot. There are 'threads I'm on' and 'threads I'm watching' but the threads I post on arent in my watched threads unless I choose to watch them..

Follyfoot · 02/05/2016 14:13

so not sot...

SuperFlyHigh · 02/05/2016 17:20

I'll also say I've seen a few of the posters on the other thread who although they may not have "kicked the Unicorn" on that thread they certainly haven't been lily white on other threads and also been goady to boot.

I still say re MN if you look around the site or Google you'll see what AIBU is about and that it's not always a fluffy marshmallow place.

OP was certainly being deliberately goady posting the post as she could have, like I said, posted in Relationships or even Chat where she'd have got nicer responses. So sadly I do think she was a bored troll who then backtracked and made up a depression story guaranteed to pull at the heartstrings of the more seasoned posters who then were pissed off at being taken in by a troll. I did think her story was a bit off due to the fluid meeting times etc. we certainly were not rude or unpleasant to her not without obtuseness and sulky "I don't want to reply" posts back from OP.

CaptainCrunch · 02/05/2016 17:30

Totally agree about the troll defenders being far from lily white as more than one has demonstrated on this thread alone.

One vociferous complainer on here wrote a breathtakingly nasty comment on a thread that the op was very distressed about her teen dd relationship with a married man.

Seems it's ok to throw stones when it suits. Wink

Ifiwasabadger · 02/05/2016 19:12

Sorry to be boring but just to say, there are no deleted thread messages on TIO in the app.

And no messages either.

MadHattersChaiParty · 02/05/2016 19:14

So Crunch you're calling the people who were concerned about nasty language/behaviour towards the OP "Troll defenders"? Nice bit of reframing there.

I don't know which posters you and Super are referring to because you have been deliberately vague and I haven't scrolled through other people's previous posts. But I hope you achieved the outcome of whatever it is you were looking for with those comments.

I didn't think OP was a troll (more fool me) but it's the behaviour of others (who also did not know she was a troll and instead thought she was being obtuse etc) that has really shocked me. I've been here for a couple of years mostly as a lurker and I know aibu isn't a fluffy place to be but a line was definitely crossed. Clearly MNHQ thought so too or they wouldn't have deleted posts or commented on such in their thread deletion post.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 02/05/2016 19:26

To clarify: Mumsnet never said anything about posts being overly harsh. They said that was the reason for the reports. Then they realised that the poster was dodgy.

So let's not rewrite it and make it seem like people behaved appallingly and mnhq agreed, that's not what happened.

SuperFlyHigh · 02/05/2016 19:27

MadHatters it's a bit childish of me and Crunch to get into public namecalling here and to be frank I've got better things to do than scroll through others past posts when they really haven't done anything to me!

I think MNHQ probably looked at the situation, saw it could be a troll and then deleted the thread. I haven't had a deletion be careful email nor did I see a sign from HQ saying they were taking the post down (maybe I was slow there!). I really don't think that many people piled in on "unicorn" she was like I say being deliberately obtuse and a bit rude. If you're that bothered then just name change or leave the thread. Don't hang around goading people.

There were also a few select posters on that thread who either see themselves as MN crew (aka MN royalty albeit unofficially etc) who everyone sees lots of stuff from them and generally it's all "oh it's XXXX Poster" she is lovely. One, Derek royally fucked up a few weeks back posting an opinion that certainly wasn't popular with the usual MN people and I recall quite a few people expressed an opinion if it was her (especially as she was trolled under another Username in the past and had to namechange).

Anyway this is getting really boring now! Ta-ra.

Toffeecrispy · 02/05/2016 19:27

I saw it but did not click on it

SuperFlyHigh · 02/05/2016 19:28

Hear hear PaulAnka

MadHattersChaiParty · 02/05/2016 19:41

Fair do's Paul, it was how I read the third paragraph of the deletion post but I've had another look and can see my interpretation may have been skewed there.

I agree Super it is boring now and I don't know why it has brought me out of lurkdom (soon to return! At least on aibu). I saw some posts on that thread that to me looked like bullying and that's a sore subject for me. I'm sure this thead will follow the original being a taat and all.

CaptainCrunch · 02/05/2016 19:45

I think Madhatter is trying to goad me into naming specific posters, how terribly gauche of her to think that would work.

Your interpretation of the deletion message is interesting to say the least.

Agree with Super, the whole thing has been done to death, I doubt very much you can squeeze anymore professionally offended drama out of it.

CaptainCrunch · 02/05/2016 19:47

X posted, you seem to have taken other points on board now which is fair enough.

MadHattersChaiParty · 02/05/2016 19:48

Blimey Crunch no I didn't! You made vague references about other posters and I wanted to know what you were looking to achieve. Don't worry, I have no intention of engaging with you again.