To think my mum went too far

[Justmeagain78]

Had friends and family round for our anniversary and a topical subject was brought up, one that's been on the news a lot lately. My mum got very emotional about her view about it. I am leaning towards the opposing view but I always like to hear both sides so I asked her a genuine question to explain her position better to me.

She flew at me in front of everyone yelling about how I'm young and ignorant (38!) and don't know what I'm talking about, how she didn't raise me like that etc etc, behaving as if I'm an idiot and that she's ashamed of me just because my views don't reflect hers. She was so aggressive and personal that she left me shaking and crying in front of everyone. She didn't even answer my question. My dh says I should stay out of politics and forget it happened but I hate her for doing that to me. She should have more respect and be able to cope with someone challenging her view without shouting them down. She always treats me like a child but Aibu to think she went too far?

I agree with PP this is not about politics, but bullying

Why did your husband, not speak to her when you were evidently upset? Why has he partially condoned her behaviour, by saying that you shouldn't discuss politics with her? If it were me, I'd be giving him an earful.

If she does this often...belittles you, bullies you and also does this in front of others.....she really has issues. I have had CBT, in regards to my relationship with my mother (I'm NC with her) and it really made me understand that she is emotionally about six years old and that is why she would react like your mother did at your party. I would seek counselling/CBT to help you to unpick her behaviours and also to give you the tools and confidence to tell her that her behaviour was wrong.

Also, maybe ask for this thread to be moved to the relationship board

I grew up in a family where every big occasion would become a screaming match about politics. As an adult, I've realised that it was not about politics at all, but that alcohol had a much greater role to play than anything else. Every Christmas as a child was spoiled by my grandparents and extended family debating politics in a totally emotional, narcissistic, and bullying way, until my mother announced that she would no longer spend any time with them if they consumed alcohol. She took a lot of flak for it, but it did make a difference in the long run. I think you do need to confront your mother about this, or go NC. It is completely unacceptable for her to speak ABOUT you to your friends and family like this, politics or anything else, it's still bloody uncalled for. Think up some strategies that might work, but don't just brush it under the carpet or it will happen again.

To make it easier to find

The Stately Homes Thread

My take on this. She was a bit pissed, having a rant and was challenged. Her POV is based on shite from the Fail and she therefore couldn't back it up so out when faced with the voice of reason made her look foolish. Not acceptable. YANBU.