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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to give money/vouchers as a five year olds present?

24 replies

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed · 30/04/2016 08:30

I just wanted to canvass options. DS has been invited to a whole class party this weekend. Would I be unreasonable to Chuck a fiver/tenner in a card?

I wouldn't usually, but I've pretty recently hosted a whole class party and my God, the mound of toys! People were very generous and gave lovely presents, but I'm still trying to find space for it all!

I don't want to seem thoughtless when in a way I think it would be thoughtful and they could use it towards something DC wants/ needs. Might seem a bit joyless though...?

OP posts:

MattDillonsPants · 30/04/2016 08:35

Well I think that just because you found the amount of toys offputting, that doesn't mean someone else will.

I think that at 5, they like a toy.

Some parents put some presents away until later....spreading the opening out over weeks...but send a generic thank you to each person.

Others don't mind lots of toys.

EatShitDerek · 30/04/2016 08:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MattDillonsPants · 30/04/2016 08:38

Ah there you go....horses for courses...both mine never really knew how to react to money and always seemed a bit [confused' by finding it in a card.

pollyblack · 30/04/2016 08:39

I do think it seems a bit thoughtless but i think its great to give money. They can use towards something bigger and 90% of the attendees will give toys anyway.

Starman16 · 30/04/2016 08:40

What about something that will get used up - a kiddies cake mix/baking kit or something?

suitcaseofdreams · 30/04/2016 08:43

Mine (5) love money to go to the toy shop and choose something - prolongs the birthday experience too as we can plan a special trip into town a week or two after the party and then they get another new toy.
Most people will give gifts at a whole class party so some cash as well is a good idea - or a voucher for Toys R Us etc...

inastew · 30/04/2016 08:44

Hosted 6 year old party last night, and 20 presents hidden in car boot just now "until venue deliver all the presents at lunchtime"!

Had she stayed up last night she would still be up playing with them now at breakfast time.

2 appear to be just envelopes, which I assume will be cash or voucher her inside.
Truthfully I wish half the gift were this.

I agree few parents will have room for 20 new toys all at once.
Cash seems a little thoughtless but oK, but a voucher or gift card shows you made an effort and would be welcomed by 99% of parents I guess.

BrandNewAndImproved · 30/04/2016 08:52

My dc haver loved money since about 3. We also do what a pp said about planning a trip to spend it.

With their Christmas money we went to a comic book shop where they bought comics, a cool key ring, a poster and then on to smiggle to waste more money. I saved half of it for when we go on holiday so they can spend what they like and I don't need to say no to them for the over priced tat that they like.

SirChenjin · 30/04/2016 08:58

YANBU at all. My DCs have all loved money in an envelope from an early age - they great a massive thrill out of being able to take it down to the shops and spend it on what they want. The amount of plastic tat that arrives in a house after a all-in-class party is just depressing. I'd rather 30 envelopes with a fiver inside - they could buy a bike or something really significant with it.

HarlotBronte · 30/04/2016 09:14

Not at all, it's a great idea. Most people don't have infinite space, most children have quite a lot of stuff already by aged 5. Vouchers are good, but cash if anything is better because gives more options! It can be used towards something big or something like a day out if preferred.

Notso · 30/04/2016 09:29

DS3 4 had a whole class party last week. He had lots of £5 in a card, he is really pleased as he wants a scooter (helpfully announced the day after his birthday after weeks of only wanting Thomas the Tank Engine's Jungle Quest ) so the cash will go towards that.

Notso · 30/04/2016 09:32

Posted too soon. A few times I've given money or a voucher I've wrapped it in cellophane with some sweets or chocolates.

tinyterrors · 30/04/2016 14:48

My dcs have always loved getting money from being 3. They love going to the toy shop or book shop and being allowed to buy whatever they want, within budget, without me having to try and limit them.

When I've given money I do as pp do and wrap it up with a box of maltesers or similar.

A4Document · 30/04/2016 15:08

I think it's nice to find a suitable wrapped gift. Otherwise you're passing on the effort of finding something to the recipient.

The parents will have to spend the time looking for something that a) the child would like and b) that they think the giver would have liked them to choose.

Say there are 5 people that do this, that multiplies the admin for the parents quite a bit.

ScrabbledLeggsAndToes · 30/04/2016 16:04

I think it's fine to give money. I would always give money over vouchers too, because it can be spent anywhere and won't expire.

HarlotBronte · 30/04/2016 16:19

It would only multiply the admin if the parent is going to look for five separate small presents to the value of a tenner or whatever, as opposed to eg using it all towards a big trip out that the child would love. Since many parents find the presence of lots of little toys a pain in the arse to store, and many children would prefer one larger present, this is hardly a given. This is the sort of thing people really need to be thinking about since young families are in ever smaller accommodation and that's not changing any time soon.

DesertOrDessert · 30/04/2016 16:42

Mine never really liked cash, but did like carefully selected tee-shirts or PJ sets. That reduced the plastic pile a bit, and was popular, so has become my default gift, along with books.

JimmyGreavesMoustache · 30/04/2016 16:56

my 5yo was happy with vouchers/cash, but we did say she could go shopping the next day to spend them
agree though that clothes/pjs or hair accessories are nice non-toy presents.

MrsClueless · 30/04/2016 16:58

My son had a water stones gift voucher for his last birthday. We had a lovely hour looking at all the books and choosing one or two, followed by coffee (or babyccino) and cake in their cafe. I thought it was a really thoughtful gift and we still read the books together now.

HarlotBronte · 30/04/2016 17:16

Clothes and PJs are good, but I'd worry about getting them for a child older than about 5 in case they didn't like what I picked. Maybe if I knew they weren't fussy!

Princesspeach1980 · 30/04/2016 17:23

Mine would love to get cash, I would usually wrap a bag of sweets or a poundshop present to go with it. I would rather then get cash too as a lot of the time, they get gifts that they just aren't bothered about so that's a waste of the buyers money.

flyhigh · 30/04/2016 17:33

I quite often buy build a bear vouchers for this age group

123lekl · 02/05/2016 10:19

I often so this a) because my own kids like it so I assume others will too and b) as a full time working mum I'll be honest and say I'm not always organised enough to buy presents, especially as I've got a few kids and there are a lot of parties! (although sometimes I bulk buy nerf guns or lego for future parties!)

TheCrumpettyTree · 02/05/2016 10:40

I'm quite happy if my small DC get money or vouchers, we go to toys r us and choose something.

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