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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be really pissed off at DS

96 replies

WalkingdeadWHAT · 29/04/2016 23:45

DS is 9. A really early riser, he gets up about 6am goes downstairs, washes/changes has breakfast and watches TV until we get up about 7.30.

We have Amazon prime. There is parental controls (pin lock) on anything over their age range. .We've had it for over two years and had no problems.

Was watching TV tonight and DP asked if I'm watching Walking Dead again. I said no, clicked on it (it was on the continue watching section), last episode watched was the middle of series 2 (we've watched to the end of series 6)

Turns out DS has been watching one episode each morning before we get up . Not just once but nearly to the middle of series 2.

He knows he isn't allowed. He's asked before and been told no way (after I stopped laughing). He's asked for the WD comics and been told no.

AIBU thinking he's in the wrong here?! DP thinks it's obvious he would try and watch it and I should have been more careful with the pin, which on reflection was pretty easy to crack. Am I being naive to think DS should be trusted and not made to stay in bed each morning until we get up because he might put a programme on he KNOWS he isn't allowed to watch?

OP posts:

ecuse · 30/04/2016 08:48

Actually I guess you won't be sniggering since you're pissed off, but I would be :)

BombadierFritz · 30/04/2016 08:49

Yeah, he had a few of the first ones. We both read them. He decided he wasnt into it. He stopped reading them. I'm not that bothered about that kind of thing, like i said, its more the emotional or real life stuff i try to avoid. But i dont really censor books or comics (just dont buy some eg boy in the striped pjs/anything by morpurgo as v mawkish)

Furiosa · 30/04/2016 08:54

BombadierFritz I'm glad he stopped reading them. You mustn't have got to the bad stuff!

BombadierFritz · 30/04/2016 08:57

I think they get a lot darker later on? I'm glad he wasnt that into them tbh but in the same way i'm glad he doesnt read emotionally traumatising fiction.

Babynamechange · 30/04/2016 08:57

My initial response was because I assumed that from where his parents enjoyed it so much, I guessed it wasn't that bad and probably something with a good plot where any gory bits could be 'not watched' and anything else could be discussed in a 'well that's cruel, not nice' kind of way....

But I know nothing about it (never watched it) and it would appear that it's an 18 and is pretty much just senseless zombie killing and not a lot else....so no I wouldn't let a nine year old watch it BUT I wouldn't be watching it either...

But I wouldn't punish him, more have a frank discussion about why as adults we can watch stuff that is different from children, how we process what we see etc etc.....otherwise he's just going to feel massively resentful for being punished for simply wanting to watch something mum and dad love watching (why can mum love watching the zombies but I can't) so much as well.. and maybe find an alternative that's a bit edgy (but generally fine) that you can all watch together..

Otherwise it smacks of do as I say not as I do which never goes down well in the long run...
But no, children shouldn't be watching that kind of stuff

BombadierFritz · 30/04/2016 08:59

Its more like eastenders with the odd zombie death imo (i actually dont let my kids watch soaps)

ohtheholidays · 30/04/2016 09:01

He's only 9 children double that age make stupid decisions every day(believe me I have a 20 year old and nearly 18 year old at home)tell him off,talk to him about why he shouldn't watch it untill he's old enough and change your pin.

I'd learn from it as a parent but I wouldn't go mad at him over it because I would think it was my own fault anyways and with the children at school it is upto each parent to decide what is okay for they're child but I'd be having a word with the school if other children are bringing unsuitable material into school.

HermioneJeanGranger · 30/04/2016 09:04

I'd be more pissed off with myself for not realising until he was halfway through the second season, tbh.

Maybe ban him from the TV in the morning for a week and change the password. I don't think you need to punish him more than that, tbh.

TheCatsMeow · 30/04/2016 09:05

I think watching TV for over an hour every morning is not great.

any particular reason?

Babynamechange · 30/04/2016 09:06

BombardierFritz... Sounds horrific :)
Yep no soap watching here either

Oysterbabe · 30/04/2016 09:07

At a similar age my sister discovered that my nephew had been sneaking down to the lounge at night and watching babestation

ollieplimsoles · 30/04/2016 09:11

The only thing this kid did wrong was he caught.

Are you seriously not a bit impressed he managed to watch it til season 2 and you had no idea.

It cant be very nice him for him to access the tv, see all the cool things advertised right in front of him but know he's 'not allowed' id try and crack the pin code too.

JayDot500 · 30/04/2016 09:11

Babe station! Haha! That's a story to save for the best man's speech

MagicalMrsMistoffelees · 30/04/2016 09:15

Our nine year old is desperate to watch it because he knows it's our favourite programme. He'd do the same as your son if he could get away with it!

It's the only thing he's ever asked to watch that we haven't thought is appropriate. It's an unusual position to be in as we're fairly relaxed and he's quite mature. But when he asked how old he would have to be to watch TWD I honestly wasn't sure.

TimeToMuskUp · 30/04/2016 09:21

We have a 10 year old who is desperate to watch it. I'm sure he'd try and sneak it on if he could; most children would. I've done the parent-explanation but it's not something he's able to decide for himself yet, so he simply doesn't know the pin.

I'd sanction him and ban tv in the mornings for a week and explain that games and films have ratings because your brain simply isn't old enough to process certain things til a certain age, and that he might not have to wait til he's 18 to watch it but by sneakily doing it, he's proved that he's not old enough yet.

(I am also hugely impressed that he's got to the middle of S2 without nightmares. I have frequent terrifying ones when I watch TWD but it's like crack for my eyes; I cannot stop watching despite knowing I'll have to read Enid Blyton before bed to rid myself of the images).

TheUnsullied · 30/04/2016 09:23

No, I wouldn't punish him. I'd talk to him about what he's seen then rethink letting a 9yo have full unsupervised run of the house and tech for 1.5 hours every day. Neither you nor your DH can really blame this on DS. He's seen 20+ hours of some of the most graphic horror on TV because 9yos will by nature see what they can get away with and because it was made so easy for him.

BeckysMediocreHair · 30/04/2016 09:27

"He's obviously desperate to see it, and being able to watch means a lot to him."

I'll be giggling at this for the rest of the day.

It's a silly TV show, not some deep, meaningful, life altering experience.

Original poster

WalkingdeadWHAT · 30/04/2016 09:35

DP wasn't blaming me, more amused and 'well what did you think he would do'. I suppose I was naive to think he wouldn't try and watch it when he was told not to.

I've spoken to him this morning about why he isn't allowed to watch it (too gory, themes he might not understand, nightmares etc). He said it wasn't even scary and the zombies look stupid. But could I tell him what happens to all the walkers in the barn please?

OP posts:

MetalMidget · 30/04/2016 09:37

Two boys in his class have the comics, I think that's where the obsession has come from!

Bloody hell, and they're 9? The comics are arguably even more adult than the TV series - as well as the gore, there's a lot of pretty awful sexual stuff that the series skipped on (Michonne is chained up, raped and tortured by the Governor, and later gets her revenge in similar fashion, there's the implication that the Governor uses his young zombie niece as a sex toy, etc). Not something I'd want a kid reading!

Babynamechange · 30/04/2016 09:47

I think you should tell him whatever it is that happens to the barn people thingys (disclaimer, I don't know what this incase it's massively horrendous)...

Then maybe start watching something like prison break with him as a family....maybe.... .? Quite edgy, but not that bad, good plot, lots of good guys, don't have to watch any gore (just hide, over quickly)

NapQueen · 30/04/2016 09:50

Id take the remotes to bed with me. He was allowed to get up and watch tv, he knew what he shouldnt be watching. He messed up, so he loses that privelidge.

ohtheholidays · 30/04/2016 10:00

MetalMidget really?Oh my God that is disgusting!

OP please make sure you say something to the school,no 9 year old child should ever be allowed to view anything that contains images of rape,there's been so many studies lately showing that there has been alot of cross over between children that are exposed to sexual violence wether it's sadly happened to them,infront of them or even just viewing images off it and children that have then acted on what has happened to them or what they have seen which has ended up with them doing these things to other children,usually a bit younger than themselves and sadly it's often younger siblings that are targeted.

Not saying that to scaremonger I've had to read through lots of those reports(I've worked within schools teaching,worked with SS and the local police,taught in schools and worked with surestart) before,it is honestly harrowing and not something I'll ever forget and it's sadly on the increase.

FlowersAndShit · 30/04/2016 10:08

What a smart kid. I'm impressed! But, he needs to face some sort of consequence for going behind your back - nothing too harsh though because i'm sure he'll do worse things in years to come.

Thatrabbittrickedme · 30/04/2016 10:17

Babynamechange do you have DC and have you even watched any of the shows you are encouraging OP to let her 9 yo watch? TWD is graphic and extremely violent (the barn scene particularly emotional as you learn a lost child they've been looking for for weeks has turned) Prison Break has a graphic and explicit main story line centred around a predator peadophile. Neither are remotely appropriate for a child of this age.

I agree with PPs who say this is an opportunity to talk about safety and train in self-sensorship OP. We attended a session at work by a consultancy in Internet safety - their advice was that each child should have their own device that is fully locked down to their appropriate age level in settings. Sharing devices with adults in the family is one of the main risk areas for seeing stuff they are not ready for. It goes against the instinct of restricting access, but actually their own device is the best means of being secure

Babynamechange · 30/04/2016 10:18

When this discussion started I honestly thought it was something along the lines of Breaking Bad, hence my comments about watching it as a family, discussing the what's going on etc..
But it does sound absolutely awful and completely agree with what ohtheholidays has just said. There is way too much exposure to that kind of thing.
I think I'm quite laid back but there's no way I would want any child seeing those kind of images, then again I wouldn't be watching them either :(

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