In regards to the cat?

[CopyAndPasteCuntingJournos]

My beautiful little cat was run over today and killed. I held her lifeless body and, after quite a few tears shed, I buried her in the garden.

Now it's not my dp's cat and he doesn't really like animals, fine I get this; however once he got back from work and told him he shrugged and said "it's just a cat, who cares". I'm livid. I get he doesn't like them much but anyone with an ounce of empathy would understand the sadness of losing something I've loved for 17 years. Right? Or am I being unreasonable?

Of course he apologised - he's not that much of an idiot is he? He must know that carrying on being that much of an arsehole would be unforgivable in the short term

So sorry for what happened to your cat. They are part of the family and it's natural to grieve when something happens to them.

As for 'it's just a cat', I'd have probably responded with 'well you're just a tosser. Shall I run you over and see if anyone cares?' What a knob.

If anyone's an arsehole in your house, it's definitely not you. I'd be fit to dump my DH if he had that kind of attitude. Fortunately, he loves our cats.

....This is a new low even for him .... (My italics.)

So it's by no means the first time?

That's horrid! I don't like cats but can appreciate how devestated anyone would be losing a pet.

Burn something he loves.

wowsers...... he called you an arsehole?
no going back from that, for me.
he'd be gone.

I suggest take his laptop, put it on the road and drive over it - when he starts getting irate simply shrug and state 'It's only a laptop...'

Sorry about your fur baby.

What an absolute tosser. He's shown you who he is here OP, believe him.

I'm sorry about your cat. I've had mine 17 years too and am dreading the day he goes, they're a part of your family.

I'm raising a glass of tuna in your cats honour

Have you ever pranged the car, OP? If so, how did he react to that?

And I would like to add: I'm really very sorry about your cat. I've been known to scout the fields and get all nervous when they don't come in their usual times even though only one of them has gone missing for more than one day till now.

I'm so sorry about your cat - they really are family. And I am sorry that your DP was so unfeeling and hope his apology was truly heartfelt. "bad day at work" is a poor excuse though.
RIP kitty

I'm really sorry about your cat. I lost my old boy at 17 and I was just devastated - I had no idea how hard I'd find it. Glad your DP has found a bit of empathy.

No, no, no, don't be ready to forgive just yet. I don't care how shit his day was, his 'so what' was completely utterly unreasonable. Almost calculated to cause you the maximum distress. It doesn't matter how little he likes animals - 'so what' wasn't aimed at any animal, it was aimed at YOU.

"I guess I just don't understand how he doesn't get it."
He does get it. He just doesn't care that you are upset.

"he can be insensitive at times, yes, but I've always put that down to being quite self centred and pig headed. This is a new low even for him"
So this is par for the course, really? Is this what you want from your life - to live it with a self-centred insensitive arse who doesn't seem to like you too much?

God, my first LTB. Not entirely joking either. Very, very sorry about your cat, OP.

A) even if you were telling him it had happened to an acquaintance it's standard to say "Aw that's sad" and show some fucking human empathy!

B) if your actual partner is distressed for whatever reason, anyone who wasnt a complete twat would comfort them, sympathise with their grief, even f they didn't share it

He sounds like a callous arse

I'd have smacked him in the mouth quite frankly. Even if he felt nothing for the cat, to totally dismiss your upset makes him a nasty unfeeling twat.

Is there any chance that he's got more to lose in case your relationship breaks up (comfortable living, cooking, sex, financial contributions) and so when he saw you really upset he copped on and started doing some damage control? Because it totally sounds like it.

You are not going to stop liking cats. He is not going to understand. Now is not the right time to be saying this, and I apologise for treading on your grief at losing DCat, but eventually you may want to enjoy sharing your life with another cat. What then?

This isn't just about cats

I'm not joking ; if I told my DH I was upset about a broken nail, and he responded with 'who cares' and then accused me of being a 'moody arsehole', I'd be alarmed.

But the I have got hight standards about treating people the way you would wish to be treated

... not that I'd get upset by a broken nail, you understand, but I'd expect my life partner to at least make sympathetic noises about something if i was upset about it and he knew it

I've got nothing more to add that hasn't already been said, but wanted to repeat that YANBU. Even if he doesn't understand the pain you're in, or what it's like to lose a pet that you love, he can be sympathetic to the fact that you're grieving. If he cared for you, he'd care that you were grieving and in emotional pain.

I'm sorry for the sudden loss of your dear cat. I've taken bereavement days off work after losing my cats; the loss is real and the grief is deep. Hugs to you!

I'm having a proper sob at your kind words, I know it's a sad state of affairs when I get more comfort from a nest of vipers than my dp

I can't deny that I feel a deep anger towards him now; like my grief for the old girl has become something else. Maybe it's time I reevaluate how I'm willing to be treated. I think I've let things go on too long without taking them on!

I am so sorry about your lovely cat. I lost one of mine the same way last month. Very glad to hear your DP seems to have pulled his socks up now.

But you have every right to be angry at him!

BTW
I love your username, OP