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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Fiancé referred to me by his ex's name

31 replies

GsdMother · 27/04/2016 17:03

3 days ago and I'm still freaked out.
He was basically talking about how his mate had some medical problem and DP suggested that he give me a ring (nurse) and I said "yeah he could have done". DP then said "I said to him "just ring Angie" ..... Angie is his ex. They have been seperated 6 years and divorced 5. We have been together 4 years and are getting married in 10 days!!!! I tried not to make a fuss and just said "you told him to call who?" And he said "oops".

If they'd recently split and ours was a new relationship I could understand it but under the circumstances it's really freaked me out. I couldn't hide me feelings and said it had upset me, especially as he'd never done it before and we'd been together so long so he gave me a half hearted apology and said he was with her a long time and he made a mistake which I needed to get over!!

AIBU or is he? I'm now worried with our wedding fast approaching that he's actually thinking of her.

OP posts:
Move2WY · 27/04/2016 17:07

I call my husband by my ex frequently. It annoys the hell out of me as he is never on my mind so I dont know why I do it. I've probably done it 2-3 times a year for the last 8 years.

Dont sweat it. X

SimpleSimonThePieMan · 27/04/2016 17:10

It's a simple slip, the brain does some odd things sometimes. I once signed a birthday card from me and ex rather than DW. We'd been split up for 10 years. Noticed it straight away and had a little chuckle. YABU

araiba · 27/04/2016 17:11

he was with her a long time and he made a mistake which I needed to get over!

he seems to know what hes talking about, you should listen to him

sometimes my mum gets my name wrong, we laugh and move on

Ninefreerangeeggs · 27/04/2016 17:13

Unless there are other signs I wouldn't worry about it. I once called my dh by an ex's name totally randomly after five years together- and can honestly say that I was as baffled by it as he was. Understandable that you were upset by his response though. Has his ex been an issue in your relationship before now?

badtime · 27/04/2016 17:13

YABU

I almost called my husband by my ex's name a couple of days ago. I broke up with my ex about 10 years ago, and really don't think about him.

SavageBeauty73 · 27/04/2016 17:13

I said my exes name in bed. It took ages for my DH to forgive me.

Shit happens. I didn't fancy or love my ex; I said the wrong name.

icebearforpresident · 27/04/2016 17:16

I wouldn't worry about it personally unless there are other things making you suspicious. Probably just a brain fart.

acasualobserver · 27/04/2016 17:16

At least he didn't call you the dog's name. My husband has problems with this.

WhoaCadburys · 27/04/2016 17:35

Just before I married ibhad dreams (normal, not raunchy) about lots of exes and old friends. It was like my brain was spring cleaning and filing them away.

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 27/04/2016 17:39

I've called DH an ex's name. We've been together for 16 years and the ex could not be further in the past! It's nothing, really, OP.

TurnOffTheTv · 27/04/2016 17:40

I've don't this a few times, I've been split from my ex for about 10 years. I bloody hate it, don't know why it happens! I was on the phone to ex last week and ended the call with s cheery 'Love you, bye' I've not heard the bloody end of it Grin

QueenArseClangers · 27/04/2016 17:41

Just think about like when a parent goes through every other kid's name then the dog's to get to the one they mean.
Understand it's mad you feel a bit hurt but, like another poster said, the brain does strange things.
He probably feels crap about it but it's nothing to worry about. Perhaps, with the wedding coming up, he has thought about her. But in a 'thank god I'm marrying the right one this time, it'll be completely different than when I got hitched to ex' Grin

Arfarfanarf · 27/04/2016 17:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Arfarfanarf · 27/04/2016 17:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pinkheart5915 · 27/04/2016 17:48

I wouldn't worry about it, I've called my husband other people's names before I think a lot of people have done it

RainbowJack · 27/04/2016 17:48

You sound insecure.

People mess up names all the times; Siblings, parents, partners, children, cats.

YABU

lightcola · 27/04/2016 17:50

Haha acasualobserver I also get called the dogs name regularly.

Watto1 · 27/04/2016 17:52

I've even forgotten my own name! When giving my name over the phone I told them my maiden name instead of my married name. I had been married for 8 years! DH gave me a Hmm look and found it funny.

These things are easily done.

ilovevenice · 27/04/2016 17:58

My ex has the same name as my DH, which I recommend Grin

Sallystyle · 27/04/2016 18:00

I do it all the time.

Divorced my ex years ago, I have been with my husband for 10 years, my ex husband is dead. I still often call my husband by my ex's name.

Somerville · 27/04/2016 18:05

My ex has the same name as my DH, which I recommend I'm actually a tiny bit jealous of that!

I've called my boyfriend my (late) husband's name several times. Each time I've been saying something off-hand, with my mind mostly on some practical matter. That's what it sounds like happened with your fiancé.

The first time I felt terrible about it, and apologised copiously. He was slightly taken aback, but then comforted me. The next few times we managed to both laugh it off.

Sallystyle · 27/04/2016 18:06

I remember trying to book my son an appointment

Lady- What's his name?
Me- I don't know
Lady- Hmm
Me- I can't remember
Lady- Hmm
Me- Oh sorry, stupid moment.. it's...
Lady- Date of Birth?
Me 20/05/ 1981
Me- No, that's mine!

She must have thought I was mad.

x2boys · 27/04/2016 18:08

I,m always mixing up the kids and dh names I would be more pissed of he called me by his ex,s names but it happens Arf Grinblanked on your dh name !

AliceInUnderpants · 27/04/2016 18:13

So easy to use the wrong name by mistake.

But.... maybe he is thinking of his ex? That doesn't have to be a bad thing. You're just getting married, he's sure to be thinking of the last time her did that. Doesn't mean he misses her, or regrets anything. It is you he is marrying. Have a great day.

BibbtyBobbityFeckOff · 27/04/2016 18:13

arf same here but with dogs. Dm will call me every dogs name then my siblings and finally my own. Unless I'm in trouble. Then she gets it right, in full every time.

Op don't sweat it. It was a minor slip, you're probably just getting a bit twitchy before the big day.