To dislike baby showers?

[CatThiefKeith]

Where have they suddenly sprung from?

They make my teeth itch. Of the three I've been invited to, one had 60 invitees (presumably to get 60 gifts, because some of the people invited were really only well off aquaintances) one had a bloody gift list with the invite and the other was from my old slimming club leaders daughter that I'd already given a travel system to.

Surely, if you want to buy somebody a baby gift you do it after the baby is born, and don't need to be summoned to spend an afternoon with people you don't know playing weird baby related games and trying to guess the birth weight?

And lastly, surely to god if you were having one you should invite you mum, who looks after your existing child 3 days a week while you work? narrows eyes at sil

To be honest (and I've been to 2 American wedding showers and 2 baby showers and well as British hen nights and baby showers) it depends on the person organising it (mum of bride and baby on 2 occasions who was very grabby, designer wish list for both occasions, Dior bags etc, designer baby changing stuff, Tiffany rattles etc) sometimes the mum or bride to be is all for it sometimes not. There is a lot of pressure to have them.

My friend who had showers for her wedding and DC1 arrival (but adopted so they collected her from South Korea) had showers too but to please her mom more than anything and also it was the "done thing" amongst friends, family and coworkers.

I just happened to be invited to both weddings (the women are half sisters and close friends of mine) and also as I used to visit a lot was there for baby showers.

You do get grabby and classless baby showers in America, you get wish lists, you get games etc. all depends what is common.

To be fair my friend with the adopted children would have been way more happy to have done without the showers and just wet babies head after the arrival but she felt pressured. She also hates the clutter that comes with the gifts and the attention! Her sister was more into the attention and liked the gift aspect.

There's nothing on earth that would make me really want to attend a shower as I prefer to see the mum with a gift after baby is born. But that's my view.

I've been invited to someone's baby shower (by the mum-to-be as arranged herself) and NOT invited to the same persons wedding. Grabby isn't the word!

I'm not bashing American traditions. I did say up thread that I imagine American baby showers are far better as they have being doing them a lot longer

If you dislike baby shower, what more the gender reveal? Been invited to a reveal party and I'm so clueless on what to bring as a present.

I lived in North America and had my son there. Baby showers are lovely. The point is the community comes together to help the new parents get set up and support them. Only Brits would think it grabby and cheesy, it's our cultural filter. Embrace the cheese and wish the new mum well.

I'm sure this topic comes up once or twice a year. I always reply the same thing. I don't particularly like baby showers before the baby is born. I had one after my son was born. So that people could meet him. I also asked that if they wanted to bring a gift could they please bring a book, either an old one of theirs to recycle or a copy of their favourite when they were a child. Some people brought additional gifts but they were not expected. Even now, 3 and half years on I love reading books and saying who they are from, as each guest wrote in their book.

I've been to a few but never had one for my DCs as I wasn't keen (I think having lost twins very late in a previous pregnancy meant I never felt secure enough if you will to begin celebrating til they were born).

I loved my sisters one; it was essentially her best friends and favourite family drinking champagne in her lovely local and buying sweet gifts for the baby. She's not grabby at all, though, and wouldn't dream of doing the Facebook show-off stuff.

There are far worse things in life.

Didn't bother for myself, but my DSD had a sort of shower in that a group of her close friends, myself and her DSSs (2 of whom came over especially from Sweden) took her to afternoon tea at a nice local hotel. No presents, no silly games, just sitting around eating nice food and drinking tea.

I'm having an afternoon tea get together a month before the baby is due as I might not be able to have a girly day out for a while after that. I'm not having games and I've told people not to bring gifts... But I suppose that's not really a baby shower then is it?

I don't like the games at baby showers, I don't mind getting people gifts though as surely you can just turn down the invite if you like.

I hate them. The only thing I hate more is a gender reveal party. Fresh hell.

Not you CatThiefKeith - plenty of others bashing American traditions though. Gets a bit old time after time.

I don't like them although the idea of asking for each guest to bring a favourite children's book is appealing. The few that I've attended have been a huge gift-fests. How many infant uggs bootees can a baby need? How many nappy cakes?

I had never been to a baby shower before my own. My friends wanted to organise one but I was insistent that people didn't buy gifts. In the end, people brought small gifts (worth a couple of quid or handmade etc) with a bit of advice attached. It was a nice event and gave us a excuse to celebrate and catch up with friends. But I too hate the grabby-ness of these things and am sometimes at the photos of piles of presents I see in FB posts. Cringeworthy.

Stroke if it helps I bloody love Halloween!

they aren't really new - I had my first 14 years ago

total surprise - family get together in a rented cottage in Shropshire - we visited for the day - mum had ordered a cake and my sister and aunts and uncles came and we had a lovely time

Second was again a surprise and arranged by some close friends - DD3 was conceived after 5 MC and I lost my appendix at 14 weeks so it was a difficult Pg - it was lovely - again just close mates, cake and small gifts

I've also hosted one for a friend - similar to mine - very low key - lots of laughs and cake and a good old get together

I have friends and family scattered all over the UK so it's nice to get together to celebrate

I didn't have a list or games or anything

I love Halloween too CatTheifKeith!

You should see how they do it here, go all out, and free candy for everyone (mainly DH and I because we steal our kids' stuff)

And it kicks off the festive season for me, Halloween, followed by pirates week early November (live in Caribbean), then bam! Those Christmas lights are up and we're all crooning Bing Crosby. Fucking love it!

I would LOVE Pirates week. That sounds amazing.

It's as good as it looks on Google Cat only everyone is really really drunk.
Google pirates week cayman and you'll see.
So much fun!!!

I'm a Brit living in the US. Baby showers are a tradition here. They are normal and not considered greedy as you don't get a second gift after the baby is born. Stupid games are not compulsory and they can be as fancy or as laid back as you want

I had one just to get people together before I got too busy. I asked for no gifts but a donation of a raffle prize towards my disabled nieces special bike. It was a right laugh and a lovely way to see everyone before I had dd.
If I go to one I only ever take a token gift, little baby shoes or suchlike.

Of course there are no baby showers for subsequent children, how rude!

I guess very very occasionally, if there is a long long gap between children and people assume you've given away all your stuff?

Also we always said "shower with well wishes", not gifts. And the only game at mine was "Guess Who" where all the guests brought a baby picture of themselves. It was fun.

It's really rare to have showers for subsequent babies and is widely (though not universally) considered grabby to do that even in US.

Of course gift giving goes on for subsequent babies, but it's not at showers.

You'd only have a bridal shower before first wedding as well, but all sorts of other pre-wedding parties for subsequent ones.

It is true - you only get one baby shower in USA for first baby and none after that.

My friend who emigrated to Canada about 6-7 years ago and had 2 boys had a baby shower thrown for her I think by her best friend for first son. For her this was really nice as everyone clubbed together for clothes, new baby items etc and she was in a small town in Ontario (now living even further out in smaller town). It is very much community based and support network for new mum. It was even better for her as her own DM lived in UK (has since emigrated to Canada after husband's recent death) and couldn't make this shower.

But people are deluded if they think Americans aren't grabby or tacky sometimes because they are! But yes you don't give presents after baby is born. You can however even if you have a baby shower for first child, you can give presents (token gifts) for subsequent children. At least the people I know did that.

I do wonder why we have a lot of American traditions in UK and also do not understand how it works - I have had friends have a baby shower with gifts and then after the birth they want more gifts! I even had one "friend" mention it to me as a joke, but it wasn't really.

The get together sounds great though.