To consider homeschooling DD from ages 5-7? School sounds horrific right now!

[Absofrigginlootly]

Yes yes I know there is a homeschooling section of MN, but I'm watching a current thread very similar to what I want to ask and it's not very active right now so thought I would try here for more traffic. So shoot me

Aaaaaaanyway, DD only 18 months old so we have a while to decide but I'm very curious to hear from parents of children currently started school/in lower primary, teachers and other home educations parents.

I keep hearing about how schools and pupils are buckling under all this SATS pressure/under funding etc, and have read quite a bit about the advantages of delaying formal schooling until aged 7.

I am a SAHM and DH earns a good wage so that's not an issue. I'm educated to postgrad level although zero experience of teaching. Have no plans to send DD to preschool, so she wouldn't be starting school until 5 years at the earliest (Autumn baby).

DH is not convinced and tbh I need to find out more before I can make a decision....but where to start? Google is not very helpful.

Any advice or suggestions most welcome :)

Zing that's how it is at my DC's school too.

The sats have changed just recently and to be honest, what they have done to what could be inspiring subjects is hugely depressing. My governor's responsibility is literacy, and the highly experienced teacher responsible for monitoring it across the school is metaphorically head in hands over it as the new stipulations are dry, dull and ridiculous at an age when we should be wanting to inspire. We are setting a few years up to fail, probably to aid the government's agenda of academisation.

My eldest did reception and was ok with it, the ratios were good and the amount of autonomy they had over their activities, free play etc worked well. The leap into year one was huge though, getting a bunch of 5/6 year olds to sit still and work in books 5 days a week is unnatural, however many little activities they throw in so they can tick the 'learning through play' box. Kids that age don't need to be structured and led by the nose through learning, they need to be given time and space to develop.

If you were in the US and read the news about Europe, migration, bombs, global warming etc you'd think living here was horrific.

Is it?

No it's fine, remember people and press like to talk about the bad stuff, jut try getting a positive story into the press!

Schools are generally fine, my DD has been to two and I've we've attended four different childcare settings/preschools due to life changes and they have ALL been fine.

Personally (don't shout homeschoolers) depends on the school and the child I think denying them that opportunity to be taught by professionals, to have extensive friend groups etc is unfair unless it's necessary.

I know homeschoolers join groups etc but that's not the same as letting them proudly explore their safe little school world themselves.

There are some shit schools out there I am sure and some kids who just aren't better in that setting but at least try, and certainly don't dump them in at 7 with no social experience where friend groups are already made and curriculum already half learnt.

My son has SN and loves school tbh he really finds routine and structure very comforting so he would find home schooling very difficult during the holidays we often struggle with his behaviour due to the lack of structure and tbh I don't think being with each other 24 hours a day would do much for our relationship

I also think it's good that my son mixes with other races and classes also when he he was younger her would sometimes come home and say

I don't like the teacher but that teaches them you have to work hard weather you like who is teaching you or not or the subject for that matter

Because when they are on the working world most of us will have bosses that are nobs

My son is now 16 and will really miss school he has learnt a lot about social norms were he fits in with his peers had a fight or two very normal for a boy of his age and kissed a girl or 2 had to negotiate with teachers had a few detentions and learned to deal with Diffrent teachers personality and in my view will stand him on good sted for when he starts his aperntership

I can see the benefits of homeschool for children who have tried main steam education and failed but in the main I think most child quite enjoy school I also think as well as giving the parents a break its gives the children a brake

I wouldn't want to spend 24 hours a day with my husband or my kids as much as I love them

I have a 10 year old in Y5 and a 5 year old in YR. Both love school, love the social aspect and are (mostly) incredibly happy in their particular settings. I'm also a teacher in a Reception class and enjoy my work immeasurably despite the obvious issues.

However. DS1 has Aspergers. This isn't an enormous issue in itself; he's never been a school refuser, never complained about much in terms of education and is exceptionally bright in the areas which interest him (which is cliche'd but true; the things he's disinterested in are harder to get his attention, harder to improve upon and harder to engage, though we do have a tutor who helps enormously).

My issue, and the main reason I'd consider home schooling, is the impact other children can have. DS1 is a very happy-go-lucky sort (which is a little at odds with his Aspergers, I concede) and rarely gets upset. Recently he's had a number of run-ins with other children at schools which I feel school have handled badly, most recently his arm was fractured by a boy in another class during an altercation. I have no issue with schooling in terms of education, but in terms of how they support him and engage him, I admit that eventually we will probably end up home-edding him. It's not big deal; my income is 'fun' money as DH earns considerably more, though I love my job. School can be wonderful for children and they become more sociable, more able and so much more independent within a good setting. But it's not always the right thing. Look for HE groups local to you, search places like Facebook and find people nearby you can speak to and ask for real-time support and guidance. School isn't always the best option, and doesn't fit everyone.

Della

Thank you!
I told DS3 (year 6) that he needs to do his best, of course, but he should do it just because, for personal pride and showing his capabilities and that he shouldn't stress about the tests or the results!
I could almost see the weights lifting off his shoulders!

*the weight

Not weights!

Don't believe everything you read at all, go and look around some schools and spend some time there. There are some wonderful schools and teachers- teachers are under so much pressure yes and work really hard! But that's so your child can have a good educating -most of the time anyway
My children all love school and thrive. There is no way I could deliver the rich curriculum and experience they all get. Yes there are sometimes problems-that's life.

You could always try it and withdraw if you don't like it.

I really hate the concept of children 'failing' at mainstream. School is an option. It isn't the only way, nor is it the best for many. (Some would argue most.) That doesn't mean a failure, if anything perhaps a failure on the part of the school.

You need to be a professional to teach 30 kids of different personalities and abilities at once. Crowd control. You don't need to be to teach one, two, three or whatever in a relaxed setting...especially when you know them better than anyone. The skills required are different, so being a 'professional teacher' is neither here nor there.

My DD is in Year 1 and is an only child (not by choice). I'm happy that she goes to school, she thrives on the social side of things and enjoys everything she does.
Do give some thought to how home schooling will fit in to your family, if you plan to have more children etc.

Yes, teaching is horrific at the moment (I am one), everything outside the classroom is completely fucked, but the children wouldn't know it, we protect them from it.

As for SATS if the school is pressuring the children it's not lets home school it's probably not the right school

My son is in a outstanding high school and he is not feeling pressured by the school at all he's due to get all A-C grades were a others on here are talking about there children having brake downs and needs gps

It's about what school you send your child to

What your like as a parent

And the personality of your child he's only 1 so your really going to be able to tell much about resilent he is

I second the poster who said don't home educate because you are scared of school.

No matter what approach you take to home ed, unschooling or really structured to home ed well is really hard work.

It is also a lot of responsibility and all of us, even years down the line when we can see it working, go through periods of complete self doubt and gut wrenching fear.
It is very possible to have an excellent social life home ed wise but you have to make it happen and if you aren't naturally social it is really tough to constantly force yourself to things.
If home education is to work you have to feel like it is a positive choice. There are so many pluses to home ed we find new ones all the time but do it for the pluses of home ed not the negatives of school. Many of the negatives of the school system don't register with the children's day to day experience thanks to hard work of teachers.

My DD doesn't have any regular social interaction with children and she's doing all right. Whenever we are at the doctors or other place like that she always goes up to children and asks to play. She is always kind, polite, and acts wonderfully. There are LOTS of children who are horrible and don't know how to share or play nicely despite them being in school/nursery. We roleplay with her all the time to teach her about sharing and playing and then see her implement it when faced with other children.

SATs have changed, yes.

Incidentally, so has MN - I've read a couple of threads in the past weeks where being an SAHM was linked with 'not contributing' - very disturbing tbh. The

I think just observe your child. If you adore being with him, love doing a range of activities, if he is a child who you think will thrive at home, then why on earth not - really it should be school who try to sell themselves to you. I think any anxiety about him not having learned how to cope with school is a bit silly really, children really are natural learners and that includes 'performing school', he will pick it up in no time, it's not as if he will never encounter any other children.

What you may find is that by the time he is 5 or so he either has opinions of his own on being ready for school, or you may feel that he is a very school-shaped child - ds certainly was and has loved school from day 1 so have I as I'm not that good at full time home mothering But there's no reason to stop him playing and learning at home and around if he is thriving, in order to access the alleged fabulousness of play based learning in the early years setting. Ask your dh to persuade you that school is the best for him.

Preschool is fantastic here. I was going to homeschool but thought I'd do preschool as had baby due and was amazed how much she learnt and grew as a kid! I thought I'd try school..

There's lots wrong with it but on balance I'm currently still happy with it. Especially reception which is play based.

itsstillgood

do it for the positives of Home Ed, not the negatives of school

That is excellent advice.
You are very wise

I quite agree. Make it a positive choice, otherwise you are treating school as the default to be proven against and home ed the 'failure/negative choice', which it isn't.

Do you know, I agree with annadale
I think people have just got defensive as most children are in school and they aren't horrific
If you want yo home school, do it
I see a mum with her son up the woods most days and they seem very chilled. It's not for me, but I'm not you

I'm sorry for my earlier comment

If it's a fear of school thing, give it a go and withdraw them if it isn't working. My current Y4 didn't even know what SATS were in Y2, and my children's teachers are way better than I am at saying "they're only little, don't stress."

I appreciate it, and the teachers' skills, on a whole new level since I started going in and helping every week. I would recommend that as a way of getting an insight into what they actually do all day.

My daughter loves school - I always thought she would, but have been surprised at just how much she adores it. She gets so much from school that I just couldn't give her my home educating.

my son loves pre-school: that's a big surprise to me. He's ?ASD adn struggles with loud, chaotic environemnts, but he's adapted SO well. Pre-school has really brought him out of himnself and he copes so much better with social situations than he did a year ago. It's amazing. And he's learning stuff all the time. He'd rather be at preschool than at home with me - he tells me that all the bloody time!

Rather than run away from the school system because it looks "horrific", why not take the time to look for the right school for your daughter? Visit all your local state options. If our finances are as good as you've suggested they are, suss out the independant options: Reception to Year 2 is usually quite realistically priced in Indies - it jumps like heck when you reach Y3 though (my daughter is on a scholarship at an Independant. The fees scare the bejeesus out of me, even though I'm not paying them!).

I susoect you might find the school system a lot less daunting if you research and engage with it.

You can't take that decision now, your DD is only 18 months old. Wait until she's 3-4 and starts asking questions and talking incessantly. I personally find it quite stressful to be the main person who has to answer all those questions all day long.
If I ever chose homeschooling I'd try to hire a teacher, at least for some of the days.

My ds is 13 and in y8.
He has aspergers and was bullied terribly in y7 at a previous school. After trying so hard to work with the school I removed him and looked into other schools.
I said I would be home educating him during that period but it didn't happen as planned. Things got in the way, he needed school. He started at a new school at the end of June last year and it's the best thing to happen to him. School is not one I would ever have chosen and it's amazing and he needs the routine/stability and social aspect too.
My dd is in reception and loving it, I know of one home ed child nearby and she looks miserable all the time, has no one to play with and is often out working with her mum.
I think we're lucky to have choices and each to their own but it would never work for us.

My children utterly adore school, I cannot imagine not letting them go. They don't have SATS pressures though, because they're in an independent school.

I'll do a Xenia- why don't you go back to work, and put her into an excellent independent school, where she'll thrive, and fulfil her potential?