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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To consider homeschooling DD from ages 5-7? School sounds horrific right now!

129 replies

Absofrigginlootly · 23/04/2016 18:30

Yes yes I know there is a homeschooling section of MN, but I'm watching a current thread very similar to what I want to ask and it's not very active right now so thought I would try here for more traffic. So shoot me

Aaaaaaanyway, DD only 18 months old so we have a while to decide but I'm very curious to hear from parents of children currently started school/in lower primary, teachers and other home educations parents.

I keep hearing about how schools and pupils are buckling under all this SATS pressure/under funding etc, and have read quite a bit about the advantages of delaying formal schooling until aged 7.

I am a SAHM and DH earns a good wage so that's not an issue. I'm educated to postgrad level although zero experience of teaching. Have no plans to send DD to preschool, so she wouldn't be starting school until 5 years at the earliest (Autumn baby).

DH is not convinced and tbh I need to find out more before I can make a decision....but where to start? Google is not very helpful.

Any advice or suggestions most welcome :)

OP posts:
Absofrigginlootly · 23/04/2016 18:33

Also, I don't really understand the current system.... Can you as a parent opt your child out of pointless homework and even more pointless SATS??

OP posts:
Princecharlesfirstwife · 23/04/2016 18:35

We've been in the uk state school system for 16 years now (only 8 more years to go). We (me, DH and 3 X Dcs) have never found it 'horrific'. What makes you think school is horrific?

IWantMyMumSheWouldBeProud · 23/04/2016 18:37

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Owllady · 23/04/2016 18:37

You sound like one of these people who never leave their own comfortable bubble

IWantMyMumSheWouldBeProud · 23/04/2016 18:38

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ghostyslovesheep · 23/04/2016 18:38

my dd3 is year 2 - it's not horrific at all

Teachers being stressed, under pressure and schools being underfunded are massive issues but so far they have not leaked into the class room where staff remain focused, dedicated and caring

your child ia 18 mths old - chill a bit!

TheTroubleWithAngels · 23/04/2016 18:39

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Bluelilies · 23/04/2016 18:44

I wouldn't believe most of what you hear about "pressure" of SATS etc. Most teachers integrate it into normal learning at 7. Kids don't even notice they're doing SATs.

My kids loved school right though primary, and especially those first few years when it's all fun and exciting. You can go and have a look round your local school if you want to see what it's like.

Yes you can tell them not to bother with a piece of homework if you think it's pointless. I can only recall about 2 or 3 occasions when one of them was set something that really seemed a waste of time. Mostly they get set to read aloud to you at that age, which is really helpful for them learning to read. You can't withdraw them from SATS though if you feel really strongly you could home Ed for the term that SATs are in, but as I said, your DC probably won't notice when they're doing SATs.

hibbleddible · 23/04/2016 18:45

I don't think school is horrfic. Dd1 is enjoying eyfs very much.

I would send your DC to a preschool, then find a school.

Absofrigginlootly · 23/04/2016 18:48

You sound like one of these people who never leave their own comfortable bubble
Rightiho

ghosty perfectly chilled Grin just musing....

Thanks everyone, nothing is decided, pros AND cons very useful to read thank you :)

OP posts:
allowlsthinkalot · 23/04/2016 18:53

YANBU. My dd is in year one and it's horrid. Far too much emphasis on academics for young children, little time to play and it only gets worse in year 2. Her older sibling is home ed and I don't think she will be long in joining him. The social side has its disadvantages as well as advantages and there is a great social life comes with home ed anyway.

I don't agree that you'll do her immeasurable good by putting her in preschool. I feel strongly that delaying the start of structured education and prolonging the time she has with you will stand her in better stead if you're in a position to do it.

It is possible to work and home educate if that's what you choose.

My advice would be to go along to local home ed groups, get plugged in to the home ed network, join their Facebook groups and mailing lists and make some friends. You will find out what's going on home ed wise in your area and get a feel for it and then when she's coming up school age you will be better placed to decide whether to continue as you are or put her in school.

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 23/04/2016 18:54

YANBU OP. Children start school very early here.

THis thread isn't representative of the range of opinions out there. Yes, school is not great for some. It works fine for others. Some school do put enormous pressure on young kids, others don't.

Homeschooling can be a fantastic option for young children, YANBU to consider it. Check whats available in your local area in terms of the social scene and groups to join etc.

VinceNoirLovesHowardMoon · 23/04/2016 18:54

Yabu
My ds loves school and is completely unbothered by sats pressure (he has just done the first lot early)
School isn't horrific, what an ignorant statement

allowlsthinkalot · 23/04/2016 18:55

You can opt out of homework (We have) but not sats - and even if you did the preparation is far more damaging than the test itself in my opinion. A year of wasted learning spent being coached to pass a test.

teacher54321 · 23/04/2016 18:55

Children are all so different. Ds is 4 and absolutely THRIVES in his fairly hothouse pre prep where they do 1/2 hour of phonics every morning and have quite a formal 'timetable' of activities every week. He is a child who needs routine and enjoys knowing exactly what the expectations are and likes being pushed. I am a teacher and have taught children who massively struggle into year 1 and 2 with the structure and sitting down and formalised learning. IMHO 18 months is very early to opt out for no concrete reason.

IWantMyMumSheWouldBeProud · 23/04/2016 19:00

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scarlets · 23/04/2016 19:00

If you're 100% confident that you can give her a decent education, go for it. I tend to think that teaching is better left to the experts but I do know of one successful home ed family so I'm sure it can work.

Disastronaut · 23/04/2016 19:04

Even if you plan to home ed for primary years, I'd consider sending her to nursery/pre-school a few days a week. From a social perspective it's fantastic for kids, regardless of what your educational ideology is.

My DDs godmother is a teacher who would agree with you about the current state of primary education and will be home ed-ing her own daughter. But she's adamant she won't let her miss out on nursery/pre-school time.

formerbabe · 23/04/2016 19:06

School is not horrific for my dc...they love it. My ds did his SATs and wasn't at all stressed by them. Both my dc have made great friends at school and go into school smiling everyday. They love school trips and do lots of interesting things I could never recreate for them at home.

Would you not want to give school a try before making such a big decision?

metimeisforwimps · 23/04/2016 19:08

Ds is in reception and I would love to home school him, but don't feel able. I can't imagine what harm could come to your ds from staying at home with his mummy til at least 5 Smile. I have a lot a friends who home school in a variety of different ways from very structured to totally unstructured. I would say though that it is a good idea to keep roughly in line with the curriculum regarding literacy and maths, many of my friends have had changes in circumstances which have led to the children needing to attend school, and it is easier for them if they can immediately access the curriculum.

MrsDeVere · 23/04/2016 19:08

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VestalVirgin · 23/04/2016 19:10

I do think you should send her to preschool or somewhere she gets to interact with other children on a voluntary basis.

I also think you should make sure that you are financially safe in case your husband turns out to be not as great as you thought (it happens).

I have a rather low opinion of the general public and the opinions it promotes, and therefore think that homeschooling is not the worst idea, if you are not a person of horrible opinions yourself, that is.

However, you shouldn't keep your DD completely in the comfortable bubble. She will have to cope with how horrible the real world is, so you should expose her to it in small doses.

What makes you think school is horrific?

For me it was the bullying and the sexism, but I suppose nowadays the stress of having to achieve too much in too little time would be added to that.

Parker231 · 23/04/2016 19:10

Any reason why you would not send her to preschool? Will you not be going back to your career at some point?

Dellarobia · 23/04/2016 19:11

My DC are 6, 8 and 10. They go to the medium sized local primary and love it. Small amount of homework, no pressure re SATs (so far - maybe year 6 will be different), lovely teachers and they all have nice friends Smile

VerbenaGirl · 23/04/2016 19:13

Give school a chance first.
My DDs early years at primary school were lovely, and they had experiences that I could never have given them home schooling. The emphasis is very much on learning through play and experiencing being with other children. Our primary is very keen on having parent helpers in, so you can get really involved and see what goes on in the classroom.
Also agree with another posters comment on how you will severely limit your choice of schools if you delay.
Even now we're at KS2 & 3, SATs are okay if approached with the right attitude (i.e. It's no big deal, we just value you doing your best).

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