Giving things fancy names...

[ForTheSakeOfFuck]

We've been soldiering through a bit of a financial tight spot for some time now, so to cheer ourselves up, we have a running family in-joke of giving things fancy names to make whatever it is sound better than the tiresomely penny-pinching reality. For instance, we're going for the discounted ugly fruit and veg so we call it "artisan produce". Most of our clothes are coming from charity shops and village hall sales at the moment so we describe them as "free-range clothes". And we have a crappy corner of the garden that is almost impossible to mow, so we've given up trying and now call it the "meadow". It could have a trolley carcass in there by now for all I know.

Am I alone in this? Anyone have any other little gems that I might shamelessly steal?

Dh boxed in our boiler last weekend put a shelf in it for towels im thinking about calling it the Linen cupboard whatya all think?

I have a large upstairs walk in cupboard upstairs which houses the boiler and a couple of shelves I, m thinking it could be a walk in closet ?

My parents and I refer to all gardens (no matter how small) as The Grounds!

My mum also has a posh phone voice which my dad and I rib her about.

Sorry if it's already been mentioned but I love the bit in Flight of the Conchords when they go to the 'budget zoo' (pet shop).

We used to joke with Dds that we were going to the petting zoo (pets at home)

We used to live in St Aines (Staines).

Heard someone described as a Mixologist. He was a bar man

chicken

But a utility room is for doing laundry and a pantry is for keeping food, aren't they?

"-Mum, have you washed my knickers?

• Yes, they are in the pantry."

Sorry, that sounds wrong!

There was a thread a while ago when someone made a typo and said "futility room". We laughed but agreed that is probably the most accurate description!

I'm going to have an upstairs laundry room when wxtension is done. Someone suggested I should call it "The Persillary"

DH is currently doing his hobby of making monsters in 'the studio' which means we cant use the kitchen table for lunch. When the weather is warmer we have a choice of eating in the 'garden restaurant' (outdoor table) or 'the bistro' ( small table and chairs round the side of the house). Loving this thread!

Growing up in a small terraced house we had a vestibule and a lobby, I think my parents were just old fashioned not pretentious!

According to the estate agents,we have a stable (shed behind the garage with a "stable" door).

My db and dsil have a mobile home in France known as the Chateaux

I have an actual larder. Folk in the 70s round here weren't rich enough for a fridge!

The sink pipes run through it we popped a set of taps on and put tge washing machine in there.

When ds gets of age instead of a purchasing a car for uni we are being 'environmentally responsible' and letting him use dh's old Subaru which will be 16 years old at that point.

Ace thread. I nearly fell over when a friend's DS referred to some fish fingers I gave him as goujons.

I always offer guests a tour of the estate.

My MIL named our downstairs toilet (the budget former outbuilding kind) as 'the inner sanctum'.

My friend calls his non-electric toothbrush 'mantronic'

This is fun

iPlayer and MNetting in your PJ's?
Social media research evening.

Hot shower and paint your toenails?
Home-spa pamper session.

Beans on toast for tea?
Pain et legumes.

I also drink cheap lemonade out of a nice wine glass when I'm poor to make it feel more glamorous.

This thread is fun! When we were little and shouting where are you mum who was upstairs she used to say she was in the west wing

We call our drive the veranda. We had a street party once and someone a few doors down from us was overheard on the phone saying she was at a party on the neighbours veranda. It stuck.

Our backroom/lean to which houses the washing machine/dryer/deep freezer/one remaining Guinea pig is grandly referred to as our conservatory.

And I can't believe how many years we were together before we gave a name to the clothes drying airer thingy. ' where's me shirt?' Its on the thingy.'
My youngest kid eventually said 'what is this actually called?'

Clothes horse. Its a clothes horse.

Ha! Reminds me of a friend who used to talk about going out to festivals in her "shooting brake". I was for ages but too embarrassed to ask wth she was in about till I finally overheard someone else ask her, "What make and model darling?"

It was a brown Volvo estate.

Old banger? I drive a vintage saloon and when the water poured in the ceiling last winter we had an aqua feature wall where it stained.......

We have a small extension on the side of the house for a utility room. It covers the bit of the garden where we met. So we call it the Memorial Hall