Giving things fancy names...

[ForTheSakeOfFuck]

We've been soldiering through a bit of a financial tight spot for some time now, so to cheer ourselves up, we have a running family in-joke of giving things fancy names to make whatever it is sound better than the tiresomely penny-pinching reality. For instance, we're going for the discounted ugly fruit and veg so we call it "artisan produce". Most of our clothes are coming from charity shops and village hall sales at the moment so we describe them as "free-range clothes". And we have a crappy corner of the garden that is almost impossible to mow, so we've given up trying and now call it the "meadow". It could have a trolley carcass in there by now for all I know.

Am I alone in this? Anyone have any other little gems that I might shamelessly steal?

I shop at nouveau regarde if I'm feeling flush.
Yellow sticker items at tesco are known as end of line specials

Oh and an arboretum ( next doors trees that hang over my fence )

DH calls the 'room' at the top of our stairs his "library". It is just a cupboard. I keep threatening to buy him a fold out chair and make him sit in there with a glass of wine

In Ireland, we refer to the designer Matt O'Lann

A meal made up of random (heavily) reduced items from the supermarket at the end of the day is "fusion food"

Matt o Lan

We have a cupboard at the top of the stairs which I shelved and had a radiator put in.
It's now our 'linen room' - not an airing cupboard oh no.
I can get in it so technically it is a room, even if I can't stand up!

We have a gym. It's a treadmill in the shed.

I loved the Top Tip from Viz . 'Sprinkle rice crispies over your drive to make it sound like an expensive gravel one '

Not quite on topic, but my late stepdad used to use English pronunciation to 'correctly' pronounce words such as 'brie' - (bry), 'diesel' - (dye-sel), 'facilities' - (fack-ilities) etc. Since he died my DP and I have taken on the mantel. ;-)

The only problem is, we have both, on occasion, forgotten the correct way to say particular words! I couldn't remember how to pronounce 'facade' whilst talking to a very naice lady at a National Trust property. I dread to think what she thought of me!!!

We have a gym. It's a treadmill in the shed.

I'm getting a gym. Its going to consist of my brothers unwanted exercise bike being put under the carport (I don't have any inside space for it or a shed).

My cheapo walking gear from Millets sounds much posher when I tell people it comes from Mee-yay.

HootsMon I LOVE that!!!

We had a manky downstairs toilet and had the actual toilet removed and some cheapy shelves in there....so I now have a pantry, or a coldroom....to store my purchases from Lie-dell....

Barnet in London is also known as Barnét. I even think some signs were changed.

I sometimes frequent De Benhams

And tomatoes are always from the vine

Oh and we have conserve instead of jam

I HATE the phrase 'utility room' so now ours is known as the pantry.

Utility room conjurs up 1980s social climbers for some reason!

The west wing (a one room extension tacked on to front of house) .

We've got an awkward bit of hall that we call the anti chamber, because we're ponces

Dust is angle-softening agent on surfaces and natural curtaining on pictures, windows, bookcases, etc.

Pickleandchutney : Love nouveau regarde!!!
It reminds me of a very good friend of mine who likes to reverse two named shops to make them more exotic ....
River Island becomes the Island of Rivers and Meadowhall (shopping centre) becomes the Hall of Meadows. It's a very hard habit to break once you start so I thank you for giving me a new one!

My brother and Mum live in Sheffield, they refer to it as MeadowHell!

If we burn the dinner, we claim it's Cajun.

I love this thread.
My mother refers to home bargains and B&M as Pikea, not quite poshening but it does make me giggle.
Our basement conversion has patio doors so we've taken to referring to it as the garden room.