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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Cheeky requests that make you want to scream

431 replies

MeMySonAndl · 22/04/2016 20:35

What is wrong with people?

This morning, a friend I have not seen in almost 2 years called me. I didn't see the call until lunch time, rang her back and send her a text but didn't reply.

She has just texted back saying that she needed me to give her a lift to the mechanic (WTF?)

Had another one this week, when I had to tell "no" to another mum 14 times as I couldn't have her kid around and take them to an activity because I was working.

She took offence that I couldn't understand that she couldn't take him herself because she was working. Why on earth does she think that I should take time off and earn less money to entertain her kid???

Hmm
OP posts:
Lukesme · 25/04/2016 18:30

Same thing single mum working I rarely ask for favours only when absolutely stuckand when I do I always reciprocate with lunch for mum and a playdate. I pay for childcare willingly so I don't have to beg as no social support locally. Then I get asked to have other kids on my day off cos the breakfast club is too expensive

Pollaidh · 25/04/2016 19:26

I didn't get asked as such...

I was at home, alone, with a newborn baby, I was on crutches and recovering from a severe tear and a catastrophic PPH. Suddenly started getting a lot of deliveries for neighbour who ran a business from home. I was annoyed but didn't think much of it...

He mentioned in passing one night "Oh, I've put your name on all the deliveries and told them to ring you...because you've got so much free time now!"

Baconyum · 25/04/2016 20:01

Rachie being asked...with the full understanding you can say no is one thing, people taking the piss is quite another!

paxillin · 25/04/2016 20:04

I had packed really carefully for a week's conference in the US, and was pleased I managed to fly hand luggage only, so much easier. I planned to go to Europe afterwards for a few days off. Oh, fabulous said colleague at the conference, I'll not worry about my shopping now, I'll just pack you a suitcase you can take back for me. Via my holiday destination. She was very angry I refused and our working relationship suffered for a while.

LikeDylanInTheMovies · 25/04/2016 20:11

She has also asked me to bring rubbing alcohol from America in the past.

Did she not realise it is the same thing as Surgical Spirit?

MeMySonAndl · 25/04/2016 20:21

Oh yes, I'm sure she does, but according to her, is not the same Hmm

OP posts:
LikeDylanInTheMovies · 25/04/2016 20:24

Words fail me.

MeMySonAndl · 25/04/2016 20:29

Paxlin, that reminds me a time when I spent quite a lot of effort in sorting my bedroom at my parents house. I had the smaller room in the house so I saved for a smaller bed, compact desk and some very space efficient book shelves. I also replaced the doors of the wardrobes so they didn't need so much space to open.

It was less than a week of feeling proud at my decluttering efforts and regained space, when my sister insisted her mamouth running threadmill needed to be placed in my room as I had "so much space".

OP posts:
MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 25/04/2016 20:56

I hope you said no.

paxillin · 25/04/2016 21:36

That's just it, OP, work hard on something to have a better life/ less crap/ fewer problems and somebody comes along and says oh, you look like you have a good life/ not much crap/ no problems, here, have my shit!

lamiashiro · 25/04/2016 22:12

This has just reminded me too - when I was at Uni I was a mature student in the days before fees. I had a job, a car and didn't live in halls. There was a guy who was on the outskirts of the group of people that I hung out with who was always skint, always borrowing money, just generally a bit of a scrounger.

Anyway, I was out with a friend one night and she apologised and told me her bf had inadvertently told this guy I was relatively solvent and warned me that he'd suddenly shown an interest in me.

The next week, he approached me and asked me out, declaring that he'd always really liked me (despite showing no interest before). I declined and he was very stroppy with me from then on, but never failing to remark how lucky I was financially if we all happened to be together and getting arsey if I didn't pay for his drink.

Bullet dodged, I reckon.

MeMySonAndl · 25/04/2016 22:34

The threadmill stayed out while I kept guard of the room, the rest of the house is taken over by my sister's teenage paraphernalia, including all the wardrobes and any horizontal surface. She doesn't live there anymore but still insists nothing should be disposed off because the things are full of "memories". Hmm

OP posts:
AnnieOnnieMouse · 26/04/2016 00:20

My closest friend and I had a mutual acquaintance. Whenever one of us said 'J phoned today, ' the response would be, 'Ohh aye, what did she want?'
When J had just had her ds2, I somehow ended up taking her ds1 to playgroup on my way - 2 miles in the opposite direction - to taking my ds to toddler group. Then for a while I took her ds2 as well, along with me, so she could have a break. Of course, when I needed help later, after having my second, erm, nope, too busy.
Our elder ds's were best friends, so he was always round here, would always be fed before I dropped him home - if my ds went to hers, he always had to be collected before mealtimes. I was involved with one bit of community work at one point - her reaction was that I was only getting involved to show that I could be. Wha?
Another friend of a different friend was having some sort of problem that really needed a solicitor's letter, but she couldn't afford to pay for one. I wrote the letter for her, as if it was coming from her, but with all the right phrases and buzzwords. It worked, and to show her gratitude, asked if I would prefer flowers or chocolate; I opted for chocolate. She gave me a 99p bar from Lidl. When she asked if that was the right sort of chocolate, I managed to say, yes, that's exactly the stuff I buy for myself - in other words - I know you paid 99p for that, you cheapskate. (outed self)

EveryoneElsie · 26/04/2016 01:08

I used to know a woman who was really crap with money. One evening she asked me for a fiver as she had no food in the house. It turned out she didnt want a loan, she wanted a fiver. And she stood there with her hand out...

MeMySonAndl · 26/04/2016 06:55

Amine, my father and his brother, both lawyers, often joked of an ungrateful distant relative who they helped through a very complicated probate case. The case lasted nearly a year and once completed, the guy showed up with a set of six 1970s mugs for each.

Every time the cups came out during a family get together my aunt started talking about the ingratitude of the relative, six mugs! Not even a dinner invitation for work that would have costed him £10,000s in legal fees.

My mother response was always "oh, stop complaining, at least you got the blue ones!" (We had some horrible mustard colour ones)

OP posts:
MeMySonAndl · 26/04/2016 06:56

Amine? AnnieOnnie, this auto correct has definitively preferences of its own Hmm

OP posts:
Sarn1234 · 26/04/2016 11:36

One of the kids in my dds class lived up the road and the mother used to send him down to our house aged 7 to get a lift to school in the morning, she never asked us. I did see her in the playground a few times at home time and she asked me to pick her son up from school and walk him home everyday. I said I didnt think I could everyday but she asked me for my mobile number anyway. She text me the next day and asked again and I said no I was going out after school and I told her she should get someone else as I usually went out after school. Saw her the next evening and smiled and she blanked me and never spoke to me again!! Some parents are cheeky feckers, if they aren't embarrassed to ask dont be embarrassed to say no!!

WindPowerRanger · 26/04/2016 11:41

OP, that reminds me of a story a lawyer friend of mine told me. He did a high-profile case for a celeb and got a good result, somewhat against the odds. Celeb was full of thanks afterwards and said he would be sending a present. My friend eagerly awaited his case of good wine, or classy hamper or...no. He got a large signed photo of the celeb. That was it.

squizita · 26/04/2016 11:50

Wind I know someone who repeatedly asks a lawyer I know to basically lie for her, as he will be believed (it's over a domestic issue). Repeatedly. He explains why he cannot do it (he could not do what she's asking anyway because he knows her and would be 'professionally embarrassed' i.e. have to declare he knows her and is not unbiased so it would all be thrown out).

Whenever she's there, she asks. It's mortifying. Especially as it's toned "oh you know lawyers, you all bend the truth..." i.e. "I think you're crooked, go on - and I'm openly admitting I perjure myself" hardly a compliment!

NewRags · 26/04/2016 12:32

I can relate to the converse shoe - I make handmade items and I was hounded on ebay for a while at Xmas by someone who wanted to advertise a particular item I make for more money and then contact me with the orders so how much discount would I give them! really?! you want to advertise them "as your own", make a profit and you STILL want discount?! I told them to go jump several times but they kept on and on and on!

I also work long hours, I work full time, run a business and help my OH with his business so a friend of mine knows all this, he knows I have Sunday afternoons "off" from everything where I spend that time either preparing meals for the week ahead, cleaning the house or just having time to myself. So every sunday afternoon he turns up without fail, unannounced, takes his shoes off to be fair, but leaves smelly sweaty footprints all over my newly washed floors grrrr!
Anyway I digress - so this friend has a reputation of dating women, falling head over heels with them in the first 2 weeks then promptly gets dumped at week 3 and every sunday its either tales of how wonderful his new relationship is going or overanalysing why hes just been dumped but as im "not working" I don't mind spending hours stopping what I'm doing and hearing all about this apparently?!

So I work from home twice a week and he calls me on one of the mornings to say he'd been dumped and I had to cut him off after 3/4 hour because I had so much work to do. So he then TURNS UP at 2pm, I didn't answer because I was in a meeting so he went round the back and let himself in! I then hurried downstairs to see WTF was going on as I could obviously hear someone downstairs (my bad for leaving the back door unlocked!) and he was most put out when I said I was in a meeting and could he please leave?! He said oh but you're working from home so surely you can take time out to hear all about how I got dumped! um no mate, I'm working, off you pop!

So he messaged me an hour later "can I come round now"! FFS he thinks because I work from home he can come over whenever he likes and I should give him attention because I'm at home!

I work in IT so the same friend often pops round with a laptop that needs fixing or "I've seen these new TV dongles where I can get all the channels for free but I don't want to pay £70 for it because its apparently easy to install yourself if you are good with computers so can you spend a few hours (on your sunday afternoon off) doing it for me?!" (for free)

Made the same mistake with my neighbour - they found out I work in IT and I get constant phone calls asking what this that the other error message means and PC world want £60 to fix it so when can I come round and fix it?(for free)

AlpacaPicnic · 26/04/2016 12:45

NewRags - I would have been tempted to string her along for a bit... let her take lots of orders then have to explain to her disappointed customers why she was not delivering the goods!
But then, I'm not a very nice person.

OVienna · 26/04/2016 13:06

I can see how this stuff can escalate unexpectedly.

I offered to help a school mother with a simple request - which she then, out of nowhere, assumed we'd do FOR THE REMAINDER OF THE TERM for her. I set her straight on that, but it was amazing how quickly it happened. Literally, in an instant, it moved on from a one off favour (my perspective) to a commitment (hers.) Crazy.

I find you just have to be really, really direct with some people.

Sanchar · 26/04/2016 13:24

I'm another one that gets people asking me to knit them stuff, jumpers usually, with little knowledge of how much time and effort goes in to it.

"I'll pay for the wool!" They say, all wide eyed innocence (unless you want an acrylic jumper the wool will cost a pretty penny too) not realising that even if they paid minimum wage it would cost about £300 for my time, a bit less if it's mega chunky yarn

Unsurprisingly I never say yes.

chunkymum1 · 26/04/2016 14:49

Slightly off topic but still in the right area...Some years ago we went to live on another area for a year, leaving our property empty (the work in the new area was originally only supposed to be for a few months but kept getting extended so we didn't rent it our etc). When we returned, several large planters which were in our back garden had been emptied out (contents including my plants left on the patio) and removed. Some similar planters had appeared by the front door of one of the neighbouring houses ( a very well to do family) but we assumed that this must be coincidence. Until a few weeks after we moved back the neighbour came over to say he thought we must be leaving them behind so he'd taken them- we could have them back but we'd have to wait until after the summer as he had plants in them! He seemed quite put out when I told him that I'd need them back now but would be happy to help him empty his plants on to his patio.

ladyballs · 26/04/2016 15:01

A neighbour once asked my mother to clean her kitchen floor. She couldn't do it herself as she was six months pregnant.

That wouldn't have been so bad, but mum was two weeks off due date herself...