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Original poster

Cheeky requests that make you want to scream

431 replies

MeMySonAndl · 22/04/2016 20:35

What is wrong with people?

This morning, a friend I have not seen in almost 2 years called me. I didn't see the call until lunch time, rang her back and send her a text but didn't reply.

She has just texted back saying that she needed me to give her a lift to the mechanic (WTF?)

Had another one this week, when I had to tell "no" to another mum 14 times as I couldn't have her kid around and take them to an activity because I was working.

She took offence that I couldn't understand that she couldn't take him herself because she was working. Why on earth does she think that I should take time off and earn less money to entertain her kid???

Hmm
OP posts:
OzzieFem · 26/04/2016 15:20

NewRags What on earth does your OH think of this friends intrusion into your life? Does this friend have a secret pash for you, which is why he keeps you up to date on his relationships? Frankly he sounds a bit like a stalker. Confused

NewRags · 26/04/2016 15:52

OzzieFem - he went to school with my brother so we've (sort of) all grown up together but whereas everyone else has moved on, got married etc he hasn't and I think I'm the only person that he feels he can still annoy talk to.

OH just laughs as he know's my friend is definitely not a threat but said I should have really gone off on one when he just let himself into my house! I probably should have but I don't really like confrontation so just asked him to go rather than get really pissy with him (perhaps I should have) I just feel sorry for him I suppose but he is started to really take the piss now!

He does this with everyone not just me I think it's how he's been brought up - he often stops off at my mum's house to annoy her aswell if he's passing - again without prior warning and on a Saturday afternoon when he knows she's there!

MrsGuyOfGisbo · 26/04/2016 17:18

Newrags glad you've cleared that up, 'coz I also was thinking this begs a whole other thread...Grin

StillYummy · 27/04/2016 10:40

I used to have a very popular friend at school who expected me (less popular) to drop everything every Sunday and help her with home work. I got her through her GCSEs and then disappeared. She almost immediately dropped out and married someone rich enough to keep her when she turned 18.

Before you ask, I am jealous. Very.

fuzzyfozzy · 27/04/2016 11:56

I was flying home after a very long delay. DH DD and myself were sat together. An air hostess came to ask if one of us would move so her family could sit together. Er no!

soap34 · 27/04/2016 12:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GetAHaircutCarl · 27/04/2016 12:11

People constantly ask if I can read their work (I'm a writer).

If I do, they generally get the hump with my feedback.

soap34 · 27/04/2016 12:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Roussette · 27/04/2016 12:19

GetaHaircut I've had this. I used to do proof reading in a job in the dim and distant past. I'm a pedant big time. Don't ask me to proof read stuff then argue with me that your way is right and my way is wrong!

FloweryBaps · 27/04/2016 12:21

A good few years ago (life before children) a work colleague who I thought I was friends with rang me for a favour on a Saturday afternoon. Her and another colleague had been out on a bender the night before, had taken "a few pills" and had carried on drinking that morning so neither were in a fit state to drive. She asked me to drive to town for her, go to Tony & Guy to buy a voucher for her mum's birthday (which was the next day) then deliver it to her at the other colleagues house 10 miles away in the opposite direction Shock. I explained I was in the middle of paining my kitchen ceiling (spent all our weekends on our massive house-renovation project) so, sorry, I wouldn't be able to help. She begged and pleaded and tried to guilt-trip me, but I stood my ground and eventually managed to get off the phone. She then proceed to repeatedly ring and text for the rest of the afternoon explaining how it wasn't fair on her mum to end up with no birthday present just because I wouldn't help. Surely it would take me no longer than a couple of hours and I could paint my kitchen ceiling another time!! Shock Shock Shock She was one of these popular girl types who is obviously used to people bending over backwards for her.

Needless to say I didn't go on the errand for her. Nor did I see her as anything other than a pain in the arse colleague from then on!

I've had a few 'friends' who have taken the piss, but I've tried to not let it stop me being kind and helpful to others. Once I realise I'm being used I make sure it doesn't happen ever again with that person. I help out the people who appreciate it and who I know would do the same for me.

Original poster
MeMySonAndl · 27/04/2016 13:28

That remind me of a work colleague who (this is fit for a shameless episode so, if squirmish, look out the other way!) so... We had our work Christmas do and she and another colleague decided to go pub crawling afterwards. One got so drunk that started paying rounds of drinks for people she didn't know, then she went repeatedly to withdraw more money from her account. She emptied the account spent the money on more drinks for strangers and finally ended up having sex in a toilet cubicle with someone she had never seen before.

The next day, my other colleague was fuming about this, while the drunk one was trying to get some sympathy from us to lend her some money for Christmas gifts as she was left penniless after the night.

A couple of days later she was crying in the office because she had asked her family for a loan to buy them gifts Shock and they refused. She was so upset they had ruined her Christmas.

I found it interesting that she was not upset at about having sex with a drunk stranger (she had never had a boyfriend), but then the other stuff shouldn't be a surprise, this was the 28yr old girl who rang her dad to tell her feet were hurting, and dad would leave work, head home, pick up another pair of shoes and drive all the way to our office to deliver them to her every single forthright.

OP posts:
FloweryBaps · 27/04/2016 13:33

Wow, MeMySonAndl she sounds deee-lightful! Grin

chunkymum1 · 27/04/2016 13:37

Flowery- totally agree with your last paragraph.

I personally find it quite hard to ask a favour from a friend as I'd hate to be though of/talked about as 'that friend' who is constantly putting on people. I'm particularly wary of asking for childcare favours too often as, not only do I not want to put on my friends, but I'd hate my DC overhear complaints and think that they are in the way (I've seen this with other children). I tend to assume that everyone thinks like this, so if I have looked after a friend's child I will always say how good they've been (unless there's a specific issue I think parents need to know) and that it's no trouble having them. If I think that the parents will be feeling particularly guilty about the favour (eg- a long stay/DC joining on a family day out etc) I tend to play it down even more (eg- no, don't worry it will be easier with more children to play with). I know this is probably me being overly British and polite and definitely my own problem. I am trying to be a bit less of a mug:)

I have been amazed a couple of times over the years when 'friends' don't seem to have understood this politeness. One 'friend' left her DC with me overnight in the middle of the week (when one of them was ill) at the last minute when arrangements with their Dad fell through and she had a night out that I knew she'd been looking forward to. I told her that it would be fine, I enjoyed having a house full of children's laughter, I wasn't sleeping well anyway so ill DC would be company if he woke in the night etc etc. Over the next few months I got repeated requests for childcare because 'I know how much you like it and actually having my 3 over makes it easier for you doesn't it.' I overheard another acquaintance (who I had helped out several times) in the school playground telling someone I've never even met 'Oh, have you asked Chunky- she actually prefers having extra children at tea time'.

FloweryBaps · 27/04/2016 13:53

Surely they can't really believe that's true Chunky. Yeah, we ALL love providing free childcare on tap for other people's brats little darlings don't we. It's soooo much easier than just looking after our own kids! Hmm

chunkymum1 · 27/04/2016 14:51

Flowery- I also can't believe they think it's true, but I assume they've just persuaded themselves that it's OK to pretend that they do so there is no need to stop asking for favours iyswim. The 'friend' who left her ill child with me (and left all 3 with me on numerous occasions after that) was having a difficult time with her exH so I cut her quite a lot of slack. I suppose I sort of assumed that she'd reciprocate when she could- but once she no longer needed child care help we saw less and less of her.

Original poster
MeMySonAndl · 27/04/2016 15:47

I really cannot imagine how people could be so blasé about asking people to babysit. I have single care of my son and cannot imagine asking people to baby sit for me to go out to have fun, If I want to have a night out, I pay for childcare, if I am in one of those times when I can't pay it I simply don't go out or jump to the opportunity to go out if DS has been invited to a sleepover by some one I know well.

OP posts:
spidey66 · 27/04/2016 16:00

I own a holiday let in Cornwall which I advertise on Holiday Lettings. One woman emailed me to ask could she have it for half the advertised price during school summer holidays. That'll be a 'no' then.

I also had someone emailing me saying she wanted to take 4 16 year olds, (so five altogether) when the description clearly said it's a 1 bed flat with a sofa bed so sleeps 3 comfortably, 4 less so. That's another no then.

Also the ones who don't read the description that (due to arrangements with housekeepers etc) we don't do short breaks and the check in/out are Saturday-Saturday. 'Oh can we have it Thursday-Tuesday and at a reduction cos we're not there a whole week?' NO YOU CAN'T. IT'S SATURDAY-SATURDAY. Of course you can stay Saturday-Wednesday, but you don't get it cheaper.

There are lots of reasons why not, but basically as we live in London so are a fair distance away, it's too complex and not cost effective to do it any other way.

Roussette · 27/04/2016 16:15

spidey you need a brasneckedness thread all of your own for that lot! Grin

RainbowJack · 27/04/2016 16:21

I'm gobmacked at the people you've encountered.

I don't have any tales of my own, mostly because I wouldn't allow people to take the piss. I'd find it hard not to burst into laughter as I'd assume they were joking Grin

thebestfurchinchilla · 27/04/2016 16:22

A rather pushy friend invited herself up for a weekend. Memories of the last time were still fresh (fridge emptied, children running over furniture in shoes etc) we came up with an excuse that we were redecorating the spare room and radiator was off the wall etc. Never mind she said, We'll bring our tent! Brass neck is not the word!!!

thebestfurchinchilla · 27/04/2016 16:30

rainbowjack It's hard though because I would never be so pushy I'm not prepared when others are. I assume my 'no' will be accepted as I would if someone said it to me. I have a SIL who always asks for that bit more and gradually I've learnt to pre empt it. MIL will offer to taker her DC to the theatre and SIL will ask her to pick them up in the morning and have them sleep over too so she can make the most of . Poor MIL is too soft and gets dumped on regularly.

Popartist · 27/04/2016 16:30

When I was in my early teens my mum was a local councillor. One evening a woman knocked on our door and asked my mum if I could help her daughter with her homework. Neither of us knew the woman or her daughter.

thebestfurchinchilla · 27/04/2016 16:33

Same SIL is always going to visit friends for the weekend that they met on holiday (different friends from different holidays) but not once have the friends been to stay with them. Life's takers.

KatharinaRosalie · 27/04/2016 16:39

My best friend moved to the coast of Spain. You wouldn't believe how many people suddenly discovered that she's an old, dear friend of theirs.
Usually goes like that

Brass Neck old classmate/friend of second cousin/random person she has not spoken to in the past 20 years suddenly contacts her: 'X!! My dear friend! We are visiting your city this summer, would be so lovely to catch up. Oh, and can we stay?'

X, who has no interest in meeting them, never mind hosting: 'No, sorry, I'm actually away at that time'

Brass Neck: 'Great! Where can you leave the keys to your place?'

NotQuitePerfect · 27/04/2016 16:53

Not a patch on previous posts but this happened today - neighbour phoned my husband to ask if he could come and pick up her and her friend from (town 30 mins drive away) as they'd set off cycling but now it was snowing and he was the only person they could think of with a car big enough for their bikes. Fortunately husband was 150 miles away on business Grin