Please don't judge too much ... I'm an only child, now in my fifties and have two failed marriages behind me. I'm suffering with extreme depression and spending a lot of time looking at how I act and react and have established that I'm extremely spoilt and hate not getting my own way.
For example today I wanted to go for a walk with my partner (we don't live together), but he's not well and didn't feel up to it. Not only am I struggling with the fact that he's ill - again, he has a chronic illness and never feels well for longer than a week at the moment, it's taking its toll, as I seem to need happy upbeat people around me right now, or I sink into the depths of despair - but also that he wouldn't go with me. I realised that I was angry that he wouldn't go with me.
I know this is awful ... I don't want to be like this. He's a lovely person and I keep giving him a hard time because I'm struggling with the fact that he won't go anywhere or do anything with me most of the time because he doesn't feel up to it.
I'm waiting for some counselling, I've been referred by my GP, but in the meantime wanted to read something that might help.
Has anyone experienced something similar and can suggest something read or listen to?