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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my friend was being rude?

17 replies

Bloodystupidusernamer00lz · 19/04/2016 12:06

Friend of mine and Dp's came round the other day to collect something she'd left at ours. Got into a conversation and I said I really wanted to go on holiday.

She suggested I go on holiday in this country and I replyed that I would rather go somewhere hot and sunny, preferably somewhere I've never been before as I haven't had a holiday in years.

She seemed quite offended and went off on a bit of a rant, calling me a snob and saying how not all holidays have to be abroad, blah blah, as if I was stupid and had never considered the fact that you could holiday in this country (which, incidentally, I have done many, many times). I changed the subject as I was getting quite annoyed by this point.

Aibu to think she was being a bit rude? Dp was there for the whole conversation and thinks I'm being oversensitive. Am I?

OP posts:
TheNaze73 · 19/04/2016 12:07

She sounds crackers! YANBU

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 19/04/2016 12:10

She has a classic case of People Who Make Different Decisions To Me Are Indirectly Criticising Me. Which is of course nonsense.

If she is normally ok I'd assume she has something else going on and that it's manifested itself in being a bit of a twit.

EatShitDerek · 19/04/2016 12:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MaryMaryQuiteContrary79 · 19/04/2016 12:14

She was rude for sure,but then again probably having a bad day and let it all out on you.If she's a really good friend and dear to you guys,u should ask her what was wrong with her that day and if she really meant to talk to you that way and that her tone upset you.A true friend will reconsider and apologise.Otherwise she's just what she accused u of being : a bloody snob.

CrookedTiara · 19/04/2016 12:15

She has a classic case of People Who Make Different Decisions To Me Are Indirectly Criticising Me.

This. And yes, if she's an actual friend - rather than, as the term seems so often to be used on here, 'someone I know who is often not very nice to me' - there's probably something stressing her, and it's not personal.

booklooker · 19/04/2016 12:19

Well, if your DP was there and witness to the discussion, I think his opinion is possibly more valid than those of a bunch of complete strangers who have no idea who you, your friend or your DP are. And also have no idea what actually happened other than your account.

But then I often feel like that when I read AIBU posts similar to this.

CrookedTiara · 19/04/2016 12:21

Mind you, come to think of it, some people have seemed rather aghast that this year our 'holidays' will have consisted of climbing in Ireland, and borrowing a friend's house in France,. There seemed to be an undercurrent of 'that's not a real holiday' and 'why aren't you spending more money?' But this was not from people I would consider friends, though...

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 19/04/2016 12:26

Ynbu. Some people are so determined for a fight. They'll find anything.

Thurlow · 19/04/2016 12:33

Nod, smile, and walk away slowly.

StrictlyMumDancing · 19/04/2016 12:45

I've had this before from someone. I had booked a trip abroad because it was a phenomenal deal and dirt cheap. Turned out she had booked a caravan trip and didn't like the thought everyone would be more interested in my holiday Hmm. She had paid more than twice what I did too as, although I was a snob, she couldn't stay in anything less than the most premium of caravans Hmm again

It says a lot more about them than you. Hope you get your trip and enjoy it.

LaContessaDiPlump · 19/04/2016 12:48

Well, if your DP was there and witness to the discussion, I think his opinion is possibly more valid than those of a bunch of complete strangers who have no idea who you, your friend or your DP are.

You'd think, but my DH is quite capable of watching two people be poisonously rude to each other and being utterly oblivious of any ill-feeling at all. Many people go through their lives with an 'oh I'm sure they didn't mean it' filter engaged. Most of them are male

tangerino · 19/04/2016 12:59

Many people go through their lives with an 'oh I'm sure they didn't mean it' filter engaged

TBF, most of the time these people are right. Your friend is probably fuming about something she read into what you said and you're fuming about something you read into what she said. The chances are that neither of you actually meant anything much at all.

Original poster
Bloodystupidusernamer00lz · 19/04/2016 14:15

Usually I'm pretty good at seeing things from other people's perspective but I honestly can't think or any reason why she would be annoyed at me for wanting to holiday abroad. I haven't even booked anything, it's all hypothetical at this point!

OP posts:
booklooker · 19/04/2016 18:16

Many people go through their lives with an 'oh I'm sure they didn't mean it' filter engaged. -Most of them are male-

That may well be true, and I may well be guilty of that myself (being male). But I often wonder how the opinions of strangers can be of any help.

Dear OP, I hope I have not come across as being at all stabby, not my intention at all...

... Have you considered a holiday in York Smile, maybe it's not the Costa Del Sol, but it does have many attractions, and I would buy you a beer

LaContessaDiPlump · 19/04/2016 18:19

I think many of the said men may just want a quiet life and have developed selective blindness/deafness on purpose BookLooker Grin

booklooker · 19/04/2016 22:13

LaContessaDiPlump

I'd buy you beer as well!

Original poster
Bloodystupidusernamer00lz · 19/04/2016 23:24

Thank you Book, I would consider it but I don't drink beer Grin

OP posts:
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