To think I can swear on Facebook if i want to?

[doubleginplease]

Ive just been told off by my DM for saying 'fuck' on Facebook in the context of 'thank fuck for that', because she knows people who are on my Facebook friends list. My mum is a friend on Facebook too.

AIBU to think at the age of 34 I should be able to say a couple of swearwords on Facebook?

I'd say have some respect for your DM. She has asked you not to swear and while you maybe 34, she's still your mum. Why are you not listening to what she would like? You expect respect from her and it works both ways.

I regularly swear around DH and some friends but I refrain from doing it on FB. I think about the people on my friends list. My parents are on there and my DM has never liked swearing. I also have younger family members who I wouldn't dream of swearing in front of, so why would I think it reasonable on FB?

The idea of employers turning you down for a job because of some foul language on FB is a little OTT, but employers find lesser reasons to not hire someone. I don't bother with thinking about that and more about the respect shown to others. There are better ways of saying something without swear words involved.

My Dp works in a civil service job and has just added his manager on fb. He didn't understand why I thought it was a bad idea!

I don't swear on fb because my grandmother occasionally looks at it. She would find it shocking.

i suggest you either put a filter on so your DM can't see your posts, or unfriend her.

I swear like a trooper on my FB, and my mom knows, she doesn't like it, but its my FB, she's welcome to hide me if she wants.

Facebook isn't a public forum unless you let it be. Mine is private, my swearing is just between me and my friends :)

I'm deeply entertained by the idea that "intelligent professionals" don't know how to work Facebook privacy settings.

I wouldn't hire anyone who didn't restrict their privacy settings on social media. I would assume they were stupid or a massive egotist.

My mum recently congratulated me for managing to type the words Jamie Oliver in a post without using the words

Cunt, rubber, faced, olive and botherer.

She was ever so proud.

My Dad isn't allowed on my Facebook, nor does he want to be. He says he's happy with the image he has of me in his head and doesn't want it ruined by reality.

If your mother is offended she can up friend you. Or if she wants to be nosey she must suffer in silence.

Doubleginplease create a Facebook group called "busybodies" and put your mum and all her mates into it. When you next post, make your audience custom. Make it "friends only, except busybodies". That will be the default for future posts until you change it. If you post something you want your mum to see (like baby pictures), edit it after posting to change the privacy to "friends only". Swear all you like as normal, and just give your mum edited highlights.

Alternately, tell her to choke on a dick because she sounds UNBEARABLE.

I've had a day to think about this and have concluded.

If I tell them i find something offensive they respond aggressively 'tough', over the years I've got various examples the most recent being me complaining that i thought them putting UKIP and britain first stuff on Facebook was offensive. I got 'tough ill put what i want up' from my dad so i deleted him as i couldn't bare to see his comments about immigrants etc. She just toes the line, agrees with him.

I think respect is two way. You can't expect it if you don't give it and that applies for your kids as well.

Seriously you think she'd be worried more about her drug addled son or her GS who has health issues rather than her daughter using a swear word on a social media website.

sian- I wish i had done that. Brilliant.

She is rather. Very different person in public to private. Annoyingly so. She bows down to my DF something chronic. When i caught my dad attempting to 'rub some sugar on the lips' on my 8 week old DS she shouted 'don't moan at me i don't want to get involved!

Also my niece who endlessly posts 'my boss is a wanker' on her open Facebook page

I used to do this loads but then he'd get the huff and announce he wasn't going to put out as I was mean. I stopped for sake of sex life not for professionalism.

This is why I put all my family members in the acquaintances group so if I post anything sweary or otherwise something mum won't like, I set it to 'friends but not acquaintances'

Though once my mum told me off on facebook for saying 'arse' which was not something I thought I'd have to hide from her. Of course I responded in a very civil and mature manner by posting 'arse arse arse' as a reply to her

I work in a private school. Smt once did a survey of all staff and student profiles as part of a drive to educate us re: web safety/not embarrassing them in front of the parents, some of whom can... have different priorities to me.
My privacy settings were high before that but now they're like Alcatraz, and I blocked all the management

OP, YANBU. Britain First is a lot more offensive than the word fuck!

Racist father, "drug-addled" brother and a poorly son/nephew. I'd have thought you have bigger fish to fry instead of debating if you should be offending your Mum via Facebook.

Seriously you think she'd be worried more about her drug addled son or her GS who has health issues rather than her daughter using a swear word on a social media website

Seems like a pretty nasty low blow there!

PowPowPow

"Caprinihahahaha "An highly professional corporate industry." Massive lolz "

Yeah I know

In fairness I was always going to fuck up that post given the content but even I was surprised at how well I did it.

My point remains though. Corporate people aren't inevitably going to have an attack of the vapours if someone drops the f bomb on their Facebook page.
Most of the people I know wouldn't swear all over the place but finding swearing on social media isn't going to shock and horrify them either.

Either delete her or hide her from seeing your posts. I wouldn't have my parents on social media, Christ... The only relative I do have is my younger brother but we're cut from the same cloth so doesn't matter . Not that my mum would care if I wrote thank fuck for that on a status anyway...

My mum told me off for swearing on Facebook so I unfriended her.

My mum gave up telling me off for swearing because I used to reply with things like "Is it because it makes me sound like a twat?!" My poor mum is very long suffering having a daughter like me!

OP Would she really give up looking after your dc? If so best to pay for childminder or nursery. Doesn't sound like you have a particularly healthy family background.

I avoid swearing on FB because I have one or two children as friends.

I pondered this when my 80 year old very conservative uncle friended me on FB but I concluded, I'm 36, I am who I am and I want to be myself. I swear less on FB than in real life but wouldn't think twice about writing 'thank fuck for that.'

Herecomethepotatoes you are being slightly ludicrous. I work in a highly professional industry/ company and people swear left right and centre in the office let alone on their own personal facebook page. I really wonder what industry you work in.

I can definitely imagine getting into trouble at work if I went on facebook to bitch about my line manager,or to be racist or anti-semitic. It doesn't, because I'm not a complete idiot and I'm also not a complete cunt. Swearing? Meh.

Your Mum sounds very passive aggressive - threatening to withdraw childcare if you don't toe the line...over a throwaway comment on FB!

I am quite sweary although I don't swear much on FB. I have my privacy settings as high as they will go and I am not friends with anyone I work with - my FB is confined to people that I genuinely know, like and speak to.

I don't think you have anything to apologise for to be honest. 'I've brought you up better than that' translates to 'I still think you're a child and I don't want you to do anything that I don't like'. Well as an adult you aren't always going to agree with her, nor her with you. She can't have it both ways; tell you 'tough' when you complain about racist bigotry, but then have an attack of the vapours because you've used an expletive.

In your shoes I would de-friend her and find alternative childcare for your DD. If she intends to use childcare as a bargaining tool to keep you in line, then I'd make other arrangements.

Oh and I don't have my employment details listed, nor do I talk about or comment on work, so would be deeply unimpressed if my manager decided to 'intervene' in my social media life.

I swear like a navvy at all times. My boss swears more than I do. We are both senior people in one of the uk's biggest companies. It's almost as if adults can hear swearing without fainting, and it's got nothing to do with your ability to do your job.