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AIBU?

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Original poster

Babies and piercings

221 replies

AJ279 · 15/04/2016 20:42

I saw someone today who had an 8 month old little girl with her ears pierced. Am I alone in thinking that it's wrong to do that to a baby?

I know it's only a quick procedure but I'm a bit shocked that people still do this. AIBU?

OP posts:
scarednoob · 17/04/2016 13:10

Sounds like lakiey is trying to justify her decision. It's your DDs you may have to justify it to when they are older - here's hoping that they like having pierced ears, which they probably will - not the internet!

If it's not your body and it's a cosmetic procedure rather than a medical one, it shouldn't be your choice IMO.

imwithspud · 17/04/2016 13:27

Ah, that's why you're so defensive. It all makes sense now.

There's also no guarantee the holes will close up, there have been a couple of posters on this thread including myself who can confirm this.

JSarah · 17/04/2016 13:28

I'm not being rude, but there are many babies/toddlers who have scalp reconstruction when they are little, for no medical reason, but "so they won't be bullied at school"... Is that also not allowed because it's for appearance?

Like I said, I'll be waiting until my daughters or son ask, but I'm just making a point.

Alisvolatpropiis · 17/04/2016 13:33

I have never heard of that before Sarah, do that many parents have the procedure carried out on their children?

JuxtapositionRecords · 17/04/2016 13:44

I'm not being rude, but there are many babies/toddlers who have scalp reconstruction when they are little, for no medical reason, but "so they won't be bullied at school"... Is that also not allowed because it's for appearance?.

What?

SleepyBoBo · 17/04/2016 13:44

So for what culture reasons did you have your daughters ears pierced, lakiey? I assume this wonderful place you took your children to didn't use a gun, even with the mirical 'numbing cream' (as any responsible parent would). Of course it's your perogative to do so, hopefully if your girls do decide to take their earrings out, they will heal over (not always the case though, no matter how well you take care of them - so don't state it as fact that they will). If you think putting holes in your kids ears without their permission and allowing babies/toddlers to have something that is a choking hazard on their bodies is ok, that's your call as a parent.

JSarah · 17/04/2016 13:57

It is where the skull forms early, but the doctor on the program said that it wouldn't cause any health complications...

It was on Children's Hospital, I then googled it and it's a procedure done a lot...

NeedACleverNN · 17/04/2016 14:00

I would have thought it was a medical necessity.

Skulls fusing early can have an impact on brain growth

clam · 17/04/2016 14:20

I'm vair old now but, when I was about 10, I told my mother I wanted my ears pierced.
"Over my dead body, " she replied.
"Why not?"
"It's common."
"But Karen Richmond's had them done," I whined.
"Exactly!" came the response.

Disclaimer: this was in the 70s.

TheWeeBabySeamus1 · 17/04/2016 14:24

My brother had something similar when he was born and had to have surgery at 16 weeks old. It was not for cosmetic reasons, bones fusing too early can cause brain damage as there is no room for the brain to grow.

My mum (who had my ears pierced when I was around 2) would not have put him through an agonising, life threatening operation for cosmetic reasons.

Back to the topic of ear piercing... I had mine done young so I don't have an issue with it really. I wouldn't do it to my DC, and when I discussed it with DM yesterday she said that she probably wouldn't do it now days as its not the done thing, but when we were little everyone had it done. But the insults being thrown around - especially towards working class people is awful. Most of the time I don't give class a second thought, then I read things like this and realise that there really is a them and us attitude amongst a lot of people. Sad

TimeToMuskUp · 17/04/2016 14:26

I'm not keen on it, I work in a Reception class and have seen a couple of incidents where awful pain and damage has been caused by earrings getting caught on clothing or being pulled. Even now it makes me wince thinking about it; one little boy collided with another, his earring caught on a zip on the other child's sleeve and ripped all the way through his earlobe. It was awful for him.

I don't think I judge others; not my child, not my place. I just wouldn't pierce my own DCs ears.

JSarah · 17/04/2016 14:39

I was just going by what the doctor said on the program

TheWeeBabySeamus1 · 17/04/2016 14:54

It does also cause very severe facial disfigurement if left untreated, but the brain being squashed by the fused bones is a real danger. You can very early as it causes a "rugby ball" shaped head and the soft spot disappears at a few weeks old.

The only reason I'm mentioning it is that when my mum noticed and mentioned to yhe HV she got laughed at and told that babies heads come in all shapes and sizes and not to fuss. She ignored her and went to the GP who instantly sent her and DB to the hospital. If there are any new mums reading this and have noticed similar in their babies, please insist on a referral as time is of the essence with this condition. The longer it's left the more irreversible the damage caused, and it's not always noticeable at birth.

JSarah · 17/04/2016 15:11

I'm just a bit confused why the doctor said it wouldn't cause any health complications?

TheWeeBabySeamus1 · 17/04/2016 15:16

Maybe it was something similar but not exactly the same IYSWIM Confused... I'm not sure. But in most cases it's done for health reasons.

MistressDeeCee · 17/04/2016 15:46

Cultural thing with us, don't even remember getting mine done, my DDs are happy with it so, no trauma here. We all did it when we were back home so, we weren't "council house babies" since, there aren't any council houses. DD1 now has 2 tattoos a belly ring & tongue piercing which I hate but, ho hum..I put 3 extra piercings in both my ears as soon as I was old enough (14 which technically isn't but I lied about my age) as 1 in each ear just wasn't sufficient for me) I cba worrying about babies ear piercings I don't even notice, most of the time. & have never had an adult wax lyrical to me about how traumatising they found it, its haunted them for years etc anyway

JSarah · 17/04/2016 16:41

Yeah, maybe it was something different then Smile

JSarah · 17/04/2016 16:44

If I'm honest, I actually would get my baby's ears pierced, I'd rather deal with all the after care and everything else while they're young, but the only reason that's stopping me is obviously I don't know if they want their ears pierced or not!

However, never ever with a gun, I think that's what caused my ears so much hassle!

GerundTheBehemoth · 17/04/2016 16:51

'4. What if that child grows up aboslutely against body piercings/modifications and has that choice already taken away from them before they could even give an opinion? A baby cannot make a choice, does not mean their parents should be allowed to do as they please.'

Yes, I know someone (she's late 30s now) who this applies to - she doesn't wear any jewellery and has never wanted any piercings. She is still annoyed that her ears were pierced when she was a baby. The holes didn't close up.

JSarah · 17/04/2016 17:00

I'm just curious, do all of you think babies in headbands are bad too?

RidersOnTheStorm · 17/04/2016 17:04

Pierced ears look awful on little children. YANBU.

SleepyBoBo · 17/04/2016 17:20

I'm just curious, do all of you think babies in headbands are bad too

I'm not a fan, but they don't cause any physical harm as far as I'm aware. My nurse thought they looked awful though and did not get why some mums feel the need to absolutely point out that their baby is a girl in this manner. I personally don't understand the need to go to length to point out the baby you have is a girl/boy either, whatever manner is used to show it. I was given a 'Mummy's Little Man' t-shirt for my baby - a very kind gift (that was never be worn outside our home). A baby is a baby, doesn't need 'girl-ing up' or such. Friends and family know the gender, strangers don't care - I highly doubt anyone giving your baby a passing smile on the bus does so out of seeing what a lovely headband/earrings they are wearing.....

JSarah · 17/04/2016 17:33

Well, I guess I'm awful! This is one of my little girls (when she was smaller) and I know the band looks too much, but I just enjoy having something to match an outfit and yeah, she was too small here, but she didn't mind, it actually helped keep her a little warmer!

Babies and piercings
nooka · 17/04/2016 17:35

I got my ears pierced at 16. They got infected, have never properly healed up even though I've not worn earrings for 30 years now (turns out I am very allergic to metal, including gold). I still have problems with them now, and I can't even wear clip on earrings.

dd was very very keen to have earrings from about 8 to 12. I said that she had to wait and than had them done as a first period present. She got bored of them within a couple of weeks and they have healed over now.

I don't particularly judge people who pierce their babies ears, but it is completely unnecessary and it does cause pain. I can't see any benefit to not waiting until it is the child's decision. I don't think small children should wear hoops or other decorative earrings, too much risk involved and IMO it looks a bit silly, so what is the point really?

TheWeeBabySeamus1 · 17/04/2016 17:36

Aww, JSarah, she's a proper cutie. She'd look gorgeous with a little pair of gold hoops Grin

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