Babies and piercings

[AJ279]

I saw someone today who had an 8 month old little girl with her ears pierced. Am I alone in thinking that it's wrong to do that to a baby?

I know it's only a quick procedure but I'm a bit shocked that people still do this. AIBU?

Yawn.

I wouldn't personally, but to call it cruel is way over the top. If a child doesn't like having holes in their ears when they grow up they can just let them close up.

We are in the minority of countries in the world who don't pierce babies ears. I really don't see why it's such an emotive issue.

*In all reality babies have no say in anything so in my opinion to chose babies choice argument is irrelevant...

My son was circumcised, does that rob his choice of not wanting that when he was older???
At that age some things are simply not his decision to make.*

Erm, yes it does...

I found all of dd's jabs traumatic enough, can't imagine inflicting pain on her unnecessarily, makes me feel a bit queasy.

DD wants her ears pierced. I'm in the no camp til she's a couple of years or so older and can handle the pain - she's almost 8. When she was very little, she hated having her hair washed and screamed and cried uncontrollably whilst desperately asking for a cuddle and comfort. That was awful enough, why would I needlessly inflict pain on her whilst comforting her for the sake of vanity?
I struggle with the cultural reason too.

Augusta, that's a very simplistic argument you're putting up there. And as discussed the comparison to FGM is silly.

It's about risks vs rewards, pros vs cons and this guides sensible decisions. On FGM the effects are hideous - and the cultural drivers highly misogynist.

With ear piercing, the risks and long term effects are not very significant. Now, for me personally there are no rewards, so the decision is obvious. For others, the rewards are valuable and outweigh the disadvantages.

My 17.5yr old daughter wants her ears pierced. I've told her it's fine as long as she has somewhere else to live sorted out for afterwards.

My 17.5yr old daughter wants her ears pierced. I've told her it's fine as long as she has somewhere else to live sorted out for afterwards.

Eh?

I had my ears pierced when I was 9 months old and yes I grew up in social housing and parents were teenagers when I was born.

My 17.5yr old daughter wants her ears pierced. I've told her it's fine as long as she has somewhere else to live sorted out for afterwards

What??

I had my ears pierced young and against my wishes. I was older than a baby but had to 'go first to show younger sibling it was ok'. Absolutely horrible, I do not agree with having children's ears pierced without them actually asking to have it done - especially those to take their children places like Claires to have them done by someone who's had an afternoon training with nail-gun.

Well I was brought up in a council house surrounded by other council houses and their council house inhabitants and I agree that pierced ears on babies is a bit council 😄

crazyduchess noooo - surely it's a personal choice for the child. When s/he is old enough to choose!

I grew up in a council house. I don't live in one now. I do remember my first boyfriend's 'lovely' middle class mother making blythe statements about how she was (ha ha ha) worried her son had been murdered in my council area, which made me feel like shit.

'Council' is horrible. It means 'poor' and 'other'.

If only there were something that could be pierced to indicate that you were the sort of person who had a concept of babies being 'council'.

I think that the level of thought that goes into the decision to pierce/not pierce varies a lot. For example "that's what happened to me" or "it's just what we do" aren't very complex thoughts. Whereas "my child should have bodily autonomy, so it shouldn't be my decision" is more complex. Very broadly speaking, the reasons to pierce are less complex than the reasons not to, so people who put less thought into things are more likely to get their ears pierced.

To clarify, I mean 'more likely to get their baby's ears pierced'.

I remember getting mine done at 7, I really wanted to and my mum warned me it would hurt. I remember it hurting but I also remember the ice cream after .

Me and Hubby were chatting about this as we are having a girl, I'd probably wait till she was 4/5 to get it done if she liked.

I don't buy that Pico.

On the other hand 'I'm not going to pierce because my social group tells me it's 'common' is not complex.

whereas 'I'll pierce because it's a thread of family continuity and keeping those connections alive is important when I have distanced myself in other ways' is.

It's about risks vs rewards, pros vs cons and this guides sensible decisions. On FGM the effects are hideous - and the cultural drivers highly misogynist.

The cultural drivers of piercing baby's ears are also misogynist. It is all about considering women decorative objects - and enforcing this on female babies.

Sure, it is not remotely as bad as FGM, but since there are no pros at all, the cons still outweight them, and a law against this would have overall beneficial effects without any negative effects.

Vestal, while that's true, it's similar to say, girls having long hair - also done for cultural reasons, also slightly mysogynistic - bit more extreme perhaps.

And there are pros if it connects you to your culture and tribe. That's what the white middle class English pov doesn't get.

I can't imagine why anyone would want to put unnecessary holes in their baby's body and it's the word MNers love to hate - chavy.

places like Claires to have them done by someone who's had an afternoon training with nail-gun.

I had a trainee who had had a summer job with Claire's. Her training was to take a DVD home and watch it; then a go on a cuddly toy with floppy ears (not the same gun, let's hope) and watch once while someone else did it. She told me she was glad first that she never had to do it; and second that she had had hers done (with a needle by a professional) only the previous week or they would have insisted on doing it on her first day.

VestalVirgin At what age would you allow it if you were writing the law? I can't see any use in that approach; it would just get done at home under even less hygienic conditions than the half-trained amateur with the gun provides.

Get a life it's none of your business, do you not have more of more important things to do.

No you didn't. You didn't rock up in your pram and request ear piercings before your first birthday

, that's really tickled me

dot

Don't be shocked when it turns out your daughter has various "hidden" piercings will you?

The council comment is just plain rude. I live in a council house, as do mist of the kids at my dcs school, and there are very few very young girls with their ears pierced, those that have them pierced are mainly children whose parents aren't British - that's meant as an observation not criticism before anyone jumps on me.

I had my ears pierced when I was a few months old by a doctor. I don't even remember it but always loved wearing earrings.

I don't see a problem with it, each to their own. That said, my dds haven't got their ears pierced because I wanted it to be their choice. If they want them pierced I've told them they have to wait until they're at least 8, and it'll be done properly, not with those stupid guns at Claire's.