To envy the joy that football fans feel? (For example) I don't think I feel 'ecstatic' about anything

[CoffeeAddictionUnderway]

Just watched DH absolutely beside himself because his football team won some 'important' match.

My feeling - envy. Envy that he and all the fans on the TV seemed so utterly consumed with joy.

I honestly don't think I ever feel like this. I actually googled once to see if I had inadequate dopamine receptors .

AIBU to feel envious (not of the football...just the joy)? What can I do to bring more joy to my life? What brings you joy?

(Unfortunately, we're having fertility issues and not managed to have children to date, so if your answers could maybe avoid things involving finding joy in your kids just to humour me that would be great - or I might start to feel really depressed!).

Rugby league for me, but there are lows along with the highs! When people say things like "it's just a game" yes it may be but for the fans it's a very important game

What about tennis? Come and join us over here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/telly_addicts/2614236-All-new-TENNIS-thread-are-we-ready-for-clay-The-road-to-Roland-Garros-starts-here?watched=1&msgid=60480308#60480308 Maybe just pretend you're into it at first and soon you will be addicted!!

I find joy in loads of random things that I often keep to myself.

How old are you OP?

I found that when I was younger I had many more big highs. But now I'm older I find a quieter kind of joy from smaller things if you know what I mean.

I had a really good day at work this week when a client was really happy with what I did and I felt really great.

Mind you, the team I support doesn't give me much opportunity for joy

I'm not a hugely "big feelings" person. I did quite a lot of "big" things in my teens and 20s - big sport things etc. But less and less so as I get older. Maybe I rationalise things too much, maybe because my job involves quite a lot of big, expressed emotion so I wouldn't seek it out in other circumstances? I'm also not that into "big gestures" - that is big gifts, or holidays etc. I find it all a bit overwhelming and pressured, and (given the option) I'd rather arrange things so my baseline happiness or quality of life is better - go for smaller holidays more frequently, or spend money on household things that make me happy or improve my life day to day. Clearly other people are very different. I'm quite happy though, so it probably doesn't matter if I'm a bit 'boring'.

I feel the same, I rarely feel ecstatic ally happy. I love listening to footie on the radio and on the tv so I thought about going to see a match but I don't support a team so I wouldn't know where to start!

I'm 46 and went to see my very favourite band Muse last week for the first time. I almost gave myself a heart attack from sheer excitement and joy...I felt like a 5-year-old
It was utterly magical and I'm looking forward to doing the same on Sunday when I see them again.

Nothing like being at a big game with your mates, a few pints and winning. There really is nothing like it.

Been doing it 45 years and won't stop until I'm pushing up daisies.

Mrs and kids first then my team before anything else. From the cradle to the grave.

Chubby if you live in London/South East and you want to see a game I can give you info. Obviously if it is my team I can poinybyou in the right direction.

Also a foxes fan bareessentials. I think we have a lot to be passionate about!

OP I've had the same thoughts before - what must it be like to get that excited every week about your football team.

Another one that I feel I'm missing out on is the joy people get from drinking tea. I find it revolting.

Even though I rarely go to a match these days, I like nothing better on a Saturday afternoon than pottering around listening to all the updates and footbal chatter on 5Live, DS (12) talks constantly about it too, it's endlessly interesting and entertaining.

My next door neighbours got burgled on Wednesday night they were devastated :(

But they are big fans of the team in the important match and last night we heard them cheering and whooping 😃 Nice distraction from a shit day with police and forensics trudging round. While we are not really into football and if pushed would say we would rather support other teams over that one it was nice it gave them something to smile about.

Do you know what I like about this thread? For once, it's a positive thread about football and football fans. Generally we get very little positivity on MN

I bloody love football I do. And I get tired of being told often by rugby fans that football is a game played by cheats and supported by hooligans. It gives me tremendous pleasure and excitement and, as a Wolves fan a great deal of angst too and I love it

It's effervescence, collective effervescence.

I realised a while ago that I miss the types of experiences I had in my youth. Going to rock concerts, going to watch Celtic play, joining others in the pub for hours of chat or to watch Celtic/Scotland (football and rugby).

Since having kids, I don't do any of these things very often. A day at a music festival a few years ago made me feel truly alive and I realised what's missing in my life.

Things I find really make me smile
Dog walking for a rescue - their faces when I bring them home for a day and they realise they're out of kennels

Aerial hoop - it's a hobby and it's just fun, like being a kid again. Any of the circus skills like silks, hoop are good

Being a passenger on a quad bike around some fields yesterday, not laughed so much for a long time!

I can honestly say that they only things I can imagine making me feel ecstatically joyful would be winning a huge sum of money or finding out I am accidentally pg with dc3. Neither of which is likely to happen.

I feel content with life generally but never really look forward to anything much and nagging money worries take the shine off everything.

I do a lot of family tree research and get so excited when I manage to jump back another generation. I spent lots of last Saturday getting really excited about a will that came through the post! Geeky but true :)

I don't get huge surges of joy often, however I have 7 eggs in my incubator just gone into locks down and now I keep running downstairs every morning to see if they're showing any signs of hatching.

I think if/when one does I'll probably do a little whoop of joy.

Yes, watch an important match with a fan. The excitement really is infectious.

True. When Liverpool won the champions league many years ago I was also euphorically hugging strangers. I was in the pub so surrounded by fans and had had many beers but I'm sure that can't be relevant . I'm actually not that bothered about football at all.

For me it's being somewhere new. I've travelled a lot with work and although it's 90% mundane (just a long commute), I loved the 10% where I'd escape to explore somewhere I'd never been before.

Thanks all - some really nice ideas here. Please keep them coming as they're honestly being carefully noted and giving me lots of good food for thought!

Apologies for my delay btw - I was held captive in a workshop at work today. (Work is teaching - albeit of young adults - and I think that could also partially explain my desperation for some 'joy' outside of work!)

In answer to the Q about how old I am too....I am very closely pushing 40, so that could also explain things .

I think I would seriously consider watching the football with DH, except the shriek he makes is actually quite earsplitting. I worry he'll give me cardiac arrest if I sit too closely!

Cake decorating, hatching eggs, listening to music again, quad biking, smaller holidays little and often... Loving these ideas!

Kez Yes we do! if only I had put a £10 bet on them 12 months ago

Also my current joy is that I've managed to keep some rosemary and lavender cuttings alive for 2 weeks! (A personal record). They are in pots next to the front door and every time I go in or out I see / smell them and feel fuzzy inside. (A gentle fuzziness, not an effervescent hugging of strangers type of fuzziness, but it does me fine )

Parallax yes - lots of people seem to say growing things is the ultimate satisfaction. That's a really good idea.

Zumba. It's the best hour of my week, by far. Dancing to upbeat music, (almost) without inhibitions, with 30 other women of all ages/shapes/sizes - talk about collective effervescence.